QBCL Part 7
I thought I'd give it a couple of weeks to see if the signal-callers of the Quarterback Challenged League (otherwise known as the NFL) could clamber out of the Week Six hole they dug for themselves. I should have known better. Not only did they not improve on that particular nadir, they have managed to get worse in several significant categories.
So, with no further ado, let's get on to...The Figures:
Wk 7: 39:33, only marginally better than the worst TD:INT ratio of the season in Wk 6 (39:34), again equalling the lowest passing TD total and only two off the highest INT figure. Amazingly, if you take freakish Cincinnati (and Carson Palmer's 5 TD blitz of Chicago) and smooth Indianapolis (3:0) out of the equation, you get a miserable 31:33. Feeble.
Wk 8: 31:25, and a new low. Only 31 passing TDs in 13 games? Pathetic. And, if you take just two games out of this equation (Minnesota-Green Bay and Seattle-Dallas), that figure becomes 19:25. That should horrify quite a few.
Wk 7 and 8: +6: Only 1 better than the previous low of +5 (again in Wk 6). So, after the high of +22 in Wk 5, we've now gone 5, 6, 6. Not so much in a rut as down the deepest, darkest mine.
Wk 7, 2: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD:INT ratio (San Francisco-Houston, and Philadelphia-Washington, somehow!). Worst of the year. What is going on here?
Wk 8, 3: hardly a whole lot better (from Wks 2-5 we had 4, 4, 5, 4).
Wk 7, 13: teams with a positive TD:INT ratio (Green Bay, San Francisco, Houston, San Diego, Indianapolis, New England, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Jets, Cincinnati, Dallas, Philadelphia, Washington). Only 2 above the previous low of 11 (Wk 6). Ordinary.
Wk 8, 12: Baltimore, Seattle, Dallas, Miami, Jets, Indianapolis, Philadelphia, Tennessee, Minnesota, Green Bay, Carolina, New Orleans). Again, down near the bottom of the barrel.
Wk 7, 10: multi-pass TD teams (Green Bay, San Francisco, Houston, San Diego, Indianapolis, New England, Cincinnati, Atlanta, Dallas, Washington). Week 1 gave us a paltry 9, so this represents more barrel-scraping, methinks.
Wk 8, 8: ye gods, another low (Seattle, Dallas, Jets, Philadelphia, Minnesota, Green Bay, Arizona, New Orleans). Is there a word below feeble?
Wk 7, 6: teams that did NOT produce a passing TD (Cleveland, St Louis, Minnesota, Carolina, Oakland, Miami). The best so far was the 5 of Wk 4, and the average is 6.7, so this is above average. Just!
Wk 8, 8: Denver, Houston, Buffalo, Cleveland, Chicago, Detroit, Oakland, Jacksonville. Only 2 previous weeks (Wks 3 and 6) did worse than this with 9. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...
13-4 and 10-5: fumbles and fumbles lost by the various QBs. The average to date is 17.75-7.25 so both of these are much better than the average. Phew!
TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. This stat had grown to an incredible 12 after Wk 6 - Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Tennessee, Washington, Buffalo, Tampa, Jacksonville, San Francisco, Detroit and the Jets).
Wk 7 - we can reduce it (praise be!) to 10 by dropping San Francisco (the rebirth of Alex Smith) and the Jets (Mark Sanchez back on firmer ground).
Wk 8 - it stays at 10; Tennessee claw their way out (thanks to the rebirth of Vince Young) but I have to include Chicago (after Jay Cutler goes 1:4 in two weeks, including the ultimate fallibility of failing to throw a TD against Cleveland - CLEVELAND! - for god's sake).
Therefore, our Terrible Ten reads: Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Washington, Buffalo, Tampa, Jacksonville, San Francisco, Detroit and Chicago.
Terrible Ten warning - Arizona and Giants, whose QBs have gone 3-6 and 2-5 for the past two weeks.
And, of that miserable number, two stand out like beacons. Cleveland, whose last 4 passing yardages read: 23, 122, 85 and 99 (and Brady Quinn STILL can't get a start!), with 9 turnovers in that spell. 'Starting' QB Derek Anderson now has a 'passer' rating of 36.2. HAH!! And Oakland, whose last 4 have gone 100, 224 (the amazing win over Philly), 61 and 109 with 6 turnovers from 'top pick' JaMarcus Russell, who now has a 'passer' rating of 48.3. Can anyone tell me WHY these two 'quarterbacks' are STILL starting (apart from the fact they have byes this week)??
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
Four Levels of Power, Week 8
Our Top Two remain rock solid and appear to be putting some daylight between them and the chasing pack, with no-one really stepping up to declare themselves true heavyweights at this stage. Plenty of potential, but the proof of the pudding is in the punching (or some such similar nonsense). What that really means is there is only minimal (if that) movement again this week, with no-one mounting a charge either upwards or downwards (unless you are the Jaguars).
And so, with that in mind - along with another disastrous week for the Terrible Ten - here we go with the unique NFL rankings in the Four Levels of Power...
Champions League (the Best of the Best)
New Orleans (no change): OK, OK, lets officially dump all this talk of 16-0. Even Reggie Bush doesn't really believe that, does he? Shall we settle for 14-2 and top seed in the NFC instead?
Indianapolis (no change): Time to man the ramparts, Colts. These next 4 games will test them to the limit - it's the Titans, Pats, Ravens and Titans again, all 4 with front-line QBs who will be up against a secondary deprived of two of its top DBs. Mind you, if they are 9-0 in two weeks' time, the quality of the Saints' opposition will come under serious scrutiny.
Minnesota (no change): Never mind that the Vikes' vaunted D is under-performing, Adrian Peterson has yet to get into high gear and they are still putting up points like a pinball machine. It's going to take a serious malfunction of the O-line to knock them off their current perch.
Pittsburgh (no change): The Steelers had better be well rested for the coming month - Denver, Cincinnati and Baltimore, plus a tricky trip to Arrowhead Stadium, are all on the menu, and things could get seriously indigestible.
Denver (no change): Big question for the Broncos' offense this week: did they just run into a vintage Ravens roadblock or did a wheel fall noisily off their bandwagon? The really bad news is that they get another dose of the AFC North this week. Time to see if there is real substance behind that 6-1 record.
Premier League (The SB wannabes)
New England (no change): That frantic scrabbling noise is the sound of the Pats' desperation to get at the Dolphins this week.
Cincinnati (no change): Cedric Benson has earned his week's rest (only the Rams' Steven Jackson has more carries - 165 to 164 - than the ex-Bear so far this year) but if he gets another 120 yards against the Ravens' D he will deserve the rest of the year off.
Baltimore (no change): Did they make their Statement Game a week too early or was this the perfect tune-up for the Bengals?
Philadelphia (no change): Who were those imposters in Giants jerseys at The Linc on Sunday? Hard to remember such a feeble showing from the boys in blue but the Eagles certainly took full advantage. We'll see if DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin get the freedom of the backfield against the Cowboys, though.
Dallas (no change): That 5-2 record will seem awfully hollow if the Cowboys lose their second straight division game.
Houston (no change): Time to step up to the Next Level, you Texans. Either you are For Real , or the Colts will (again) make mincemeat of you and leave a gulf in the AFC South the size of Texas.
San Diego (no change): A 12-point win over one of the Terrible Ten is certainly nothing to propel you to great heights hereabouts, but here's a chance to chalk up a genuine, merit-worthy 'W' this week.
Arizona (no change): Ladies and gentlemen, after the brain-fart, let me introduce you to - the Game Fart. A complete, collective raspberry from the Cardinals at home to Carolina. Not a thing about this performance that left a good odour, and they need to get right in a hurry at Chicago.
Atlanta (no change): Just what a team needs after two tough defeats, the visit of one of the Terrible Ten. 5-3 here we come!
Chicago (no change): The Bears had their rest cure last week (otherwise known as a game against Cleveland), so now they need to get serious again.
Giants (no change): I was ready to relegate them this week, then a little voice pointed out a 5-3 record and said 'Do they REALLY deserve to be down with the hopeful and hopeless?' And the answer, of course, is No. Unless they come up empty against the Chargers.
Miami (no change): The Dolphins will need more than that smoke-and-mirrors act that ambushed the Jets when they head back to the North East this Sunday. A fully functional running game would help, and a quarterback who can complete more than 12 passes will also be necessary in New England. Joey Porter's bulletin board material for the Pats may make things even trickier.
Green Bay (no change): Hanging on to this level by their very finger-tips after another exposure to one of the NFL's elite, they get one more of the Terrible Ten to beat up on to try to get in shape for the Big Test in Week 10 against the Cowboys.
Championship (the teams treading water)
NY Jets (no change): Is this really a 4-4 team? Take a week off to figure it out.
San Francisco (no change): Another gallant failure but a 3-4 record doesn't lie. This is still a pretty toothless team - and the challenge of Tennessee suddenly looks serious, too.
Seattle (no change): Having finally lost their not-so-cutting Edge, the Seahawks will put the whole load on Julius Jones. It's sink or swim time, Jonesy.
Carolina (promoted): No-one saw THAT coming. A win based on a swarming D is certainly a BIG step in the right direction but just SEVEN completions from the quarterback? Hardly an offensive statement of intent.
Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we STILL have a Terrible Ten )
Tennessee (no change): Titans, your hope of salvation is named Johnson.
Jacksonville (relegated): While the Panthers finally managed to bite, scratch and claw their way free of the basement, the Jags drop straight in to keep up our quota. They do have a chance to bounce straight back, but lose again this week - to the Chiefs - and they will be doomed to this level for keeps.
Kansas City (no change): The sheer, blessed relief of the bye week!
Washington (no change): Ditto!
Buffalo (no change): No quarterback = No chance at this level.
Oakland (no change): Well, the defense haven't thrown in the towel. Shame the offense never brought one with them.
Tampa Bay (no change): All's quiet in Buc-land, too. But is Josh Freeman now ready for the storm to burst around his head (instead of Josh Johnson's)?
St Louis (no change): Yes they won, but did you SEE this game? The UFL has more to offer than this.
Cleveland (no change): Just 78 points in 8 games. Need I say more?
Detroit (no change): When you lose to the bottom team - and manage just 10 points - you KNOW what's coming, don't you? Just one win in the last 24, and counting (and counting...)
Our Top Two remain rock solid and appear to be putting some daylight between them and the chasing pack, with no-one really stepping up to declare themselves true heavyweights at this stage. Plenty of potential, but the proof of the pudding is in the punching (or some such similar nonsense). What that really means is there is only minimal (if that) movement again this week, with no-one mounting a charge either upwards or downwards (unless you are the Jaguars).
And so, with that in mind - along with another disastrous week for the Terrible Ten - here we go with the unique NFL rankings in the Four Levels of Power...
Champions League (the Best of the Best)
New Orleans (no change): OK, OK, lets officially dump all this talk of 16-0. Even Reggie Bush doesn't really believe that, does he? Shall we settle for 14-2 and top seed in the NFC instead?
Indianapolis (no change): Time to man the ramparts, Colts. These next 4 games will test them to the limit - it's the Titans, Pats, Ravens and Titans again, all 4 with front-line QBs who will be up against a secondary deprived of two of its top DBs. Mind you, if they are 9-0 in two weeks' time, the quality of the Saints' opposition will come under serious scrutiny.
Minnesota (no change): Never mind that the Vikes' vaunted D is under-performing, Adrian Peterson has yet to get into high gear and they are still putting up points like a pinball machine. It's going to take a serious malfunction of the O-line to knock them off their current perch.
Pittsburgh (no change): The Steelers had better be well rested for the coming month - Denver, Cincinnati and Baltimore, plus a tricky trip to Arrowhead Stadium, are all on the menu, and things could get seriously indigestible.
Denver (no change): Big question for the Broncos' offense this week: did they just run into a vintage Ravens roadblock or did a wheel fall noisily off their bandwagon? The really bad news is that they get another dose of the AFC North this week. Time to see if there is real substance behind that 6-1 record.
Premier League (The SB wannabes)
New England (no change): That frantic scrabbling noise is the sound of the Pats' desperation to get at the Dolphins this week.
Cincinnati (no change): Cedric Benson has earned his week's rest (only the Rams' Steven Jackson has more carries - 165 to 164 - than the ex-Bear so far this year) but if he gets another 120 yards against the Ravens' D he will deserve the rest of the year off.
Baltimore (no change): Did they make their Statement Game a week too early or was this the perfect tune-up for the Bengals?
Philadelphia (no change): Who were those imposters in Giants jerseys at The Linc on Sunday? Hard to remember such a feeble showing from the boys in blue but the Eagles certainly took full advantage. We'll see if DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin get the freedom of the backfield against the Cowboys, though.
Dallas (no change): That 5-2 record will seem awfully hollow if the Cowboys lose their second straight division game.
Houston (no change): Time to step up to the Next Level, you Texans. Either you are For Real , or the Colts will (again) make mincemeat of you and leave a gulf in the AFC South the size of Texas.
San Diego (no change): A 12-point win over one of the Terrible Ten is certainly nothing to propel you to great heights hereabouts, but here's a chance to chalk up a genuine, merit-worthy 'W' this week.
Arizona (no change): Ladies and gentlemen, after the brain-fart, let me introduce you to - the Game Fart. A complete, collective raspberry from the Cardinals at home to Carolina. Not a thing about this performance that left a good odour, and they need to get right in a hurry at Chicago.
Atlanta (no change): Just what a team needs after two tough defeats, the visit of one of the Terrible Ten. 5-3 here we come!
Chicago (no change): The Bears had their rest cure last week (otherwise known as a game against Cleveland), so now they need to get serious again.
Giants (no change): I was ready to relegate them this week, then a little voice pointed out a 5-3 record and said 'Do they REALLY deserve to be down with the hopeful and hopeless?' And the answer, of course, is No. Unless they come up empty against the Chargers.
Miami (no change): The Dolphins will need more than that smoke-and-mirrors act that ambushed the Jets when they head back to the North East this Sunday. A fully functional running game would help, and a quarterback who can complete more than 12 passes will also be necessary in New England. Joey Porter's bulletin board material for the Pats may make things even trickier.
Green Bay (no change): Hanging on to this level by their very finger-tips after another exposure to one of the NFL's elite, they get one more of the Terrible Ten to beat up on to try to get in shape for the Big Test in Week 10 against the Cowboys.
Championship (the teams treading water)
NY Jets (no change): Is this really a 4-4 team? Take a week off to figure it out.
San Francisco (no change): Another gallant failure but a 3-4 record doesn't lie. This is still a pretty toothless team - and the challenge of Tennessee suddenly looks serious, too.
Seattle (no change): Having finally lost their not-so-cutting Edge, the Seahawks will put the whole load on Julius Jones. It's sink or swim time, Jonesy.
Carolina (promoted): No-one saw THAT coming. A win based on a swarming D is certainly a BIG step in the right direction but just SEVEN completions from the quarterback? Hardly an offensive statement of intent.
Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we STILL have a Terrible Ten )
Tennessee (no change): Titans, your hope of salvation is named Johnson.
Jacksonville (relegated): While the Panthers finally managed to bite, scratch and claw their way free of the basement, the Jags drop straight in to keep up our quota. They do have a chance to bounce straight back, but lose again this week - to the Chiefs - and they will be doomed to this level for keeps.
Kansas City (no change): The sheer, blessed relief of the bye week!
Washington (no change): Ditto!
Buffalo (no change): No quarterback = No chance at this level.
Oakland (no change): Well, the defense haven't thrown in the towel. Shame the offense never brought one with them.
Tampa Bay (no change): All's quiet in Buc-land, too. But is Josh Freeman now ready for the storm to burst around his head (instead of Josh Johnson's)?
St Louis (no change): Yes they won, but did you SEE this game? The UFL has more to offer than this.
Cleveland (no change): Just 78 points in 8 games. Need I say more?
Detroit (no change): When you lose to the bottom team - and manage just 10 points - you KNOW what's coming, don't you? Just one win in the last 24, and counting (and counting...)
Monday, November 02, 2009
Four Levels of Power, Week 7
If you enjoy one-sided contests – Christians v Lions, Light Brigade v Russian artillery, Anyone v Tampa – then Week 7 of the NFL was tailor-made just for you. It had enough routs, shellackings and bullyings to keep the most avid watcher of car-wrecks happy for the season.
I know I said it last week, but there really is a mighty imbalance between the cream of the crop and the cellar dwellers this season. Which leads us on to the following conclusions in this week’s fairly immobile NFL power rankings…
Champions League (the Best of the Best)
New Orleans (no change): Front-runners? Check. Come-from-behind capability? Check. Red-hot quarterback? Double-check. Is it playoff time yet?
Indianapolis (no change): Lift up your car’s hood when it’s on cruise control and it looks very much like these Colts.
Denver (no change): Having galloped (ho, ho) into a commanding position, the Broncos are probably ready to kick down the stable door to get at the Ravens after their bye week.
Pittsburgh (promoted): Fourth quarter struggles? What fourth quarter struggles?
Minnesota (no change): “For Fox sake,” or something similar. Those were the final words of the game from Brett Favre as Keyaron Fox streaked 82 yards with his interception return to ice a see-saw game.
Premier League (The SB wannabes)
New England (no change): Beating up on the JV teams just doesn’t count for anything in these here parts.
Arizona (no change): Last season’s East Coast miseries are now firmly a thing of the past for these Cardinals. Next stop, another NFC West domination.
Cincinnati (no change): Do you think the Bears are still wondering, if only we’d had THAT Cedric Benson?
Giants (relegated): Out of sync, out of balance, out of luck – and out of the Champions League. Just goes to show that feasting on members of the Terrible Ten over the first five weeks isn’t much use when it comes to anyone else.
Dallas (no change): The immutable law of desperation says a talented team in a ‘must-win’ scenario always beats a talented team with rather less to play for. Let us know how it works out in Week 8.
Atlanta (no change): LDQ* + NDL** = Defeat. Not irreversible
(*LDQ, or Lack of Desperation Quotient; **NDL, or No Discernible Luck)
San Diego (no change): Crisis? What crisis? You see, playing one of the Terrible Ten really is the cure-all.
Philadelphia (no change): The flippant observation is they made terribly hard work of another of the Terrible Ten. The in-depth prognostication is they REALLY made hard work of another of the Terrible Ten.
Green Bay (no change): Two games against members of the Conference; 57-3. Now, is that ANY help at all when it comes to facing a REAL team this week?
Baltimore (no change): the perfect time to take a week off and plan to see if their defensive mojo can match up to the Broncos’ this week.
Houston (no change): Two wins in a row? OK, we’ll take you seriously now.
Chicago (no change): And now, the Bears' D will do an impression of Swiss cheese.
Miami (no change): Talking of Swiss cheese, the Dolphins' 36-point second-half surrender is in pretty much the same territory.
Championship (the teams with everything to prove)
NY Jets (no change): How does a struggling team get well in a hurry? Yes, you guessed it, a game against one of the Terrible Ten is always the answer.
Jacksonville (no change): During their bye week, the Jags will be putting out an APB for the David Garrard of 2007 (with the passer rating of 102.2) as opposed to this year's version (78.5).
San Francisco (no change): Now where has THAT Alex Smith been for the past 3 seasons? More importantly, can he keep it up for more than a half?
Seattle (no change): Never mind the bye week, can the Seahawks get a bye month to try to get a few players healthy again?
Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and the Terrible Ten are STILL intact)
Buffalo (no change): Usual Conference rules apply - you have to beat someone from outside this group to earn any kudos.
Carolina (no change): And turnover machine Jake Delhomme is STILL at QB? How BAD must his back-ups be?
Oakland (no change): NOW will you please go away and find another league to pollute.
Kansas City (no change): How do you spell shambles? C-H-I-E-F-S.
Washington (no change): Even the Eagles seemed to get bored scoring points against them. Another offence going absolutely nowhere.
Tennessee (no change): The glorious safety of the Bye week.
Cleveland (no change): That's 4 games out of 7 being held to six points or less. Hard to see how you get much worse.
Detroit (no change): For once, the carnage of the Conference did not include the Lions - thanks to the Bye week!
Tampa Bay (no change): Pure and utter ineptitude, thy name is Buccaneers.
St Louis (no change): Can you imagine just how bad their games against Detroit and Tennessee might be?
If you enjoy one-sided contests – Christians v Lions, Light Brigade v Russian artillery, Anyone v Tampa – then Week 7 of the NFL was tailor-made just for you. It had enough routs, shellackings and bullyings to keep the most avid watcher of car-wrecks happy for the season.
I know I said it last week, but there really is a mighty imbalance between the cream of the crop and the cellar dwellers this season. Which leads us on to the following conclusions in this week’s fairly immobile NFL power rankings…
Champions League (the Best of the Best)
New Orleans (no change): Front-runners? Check. Come-from-behind capability? Check. Red-hot quarterback? Double-check. Is it playoff time yet?
Indianapolis (no change): Lift up your car’s hood when it’s on cruise control and it looks very much like these Colts.
Denver (no change): Having galloped (ho, ho) into a commanding position, the Broncos are probably ready to kick down the stable door to get at the Ravens after their bye week.
Pittsburgh (promoted): Fourth quarter struggles? What fourth quarter struggles?
Minnesota (no change): “For Fox sake,” or something similar. Those were the final words of the game from Brett Favre as Keyaron Fox streaked 82 yards with his interception return to ice a see-saw game.
Premier League (The SB wannabes)
New England (no change): Beating up on the JV teams just doesn’t count for anything in these here parts.
Arizona (no change): Last season’s East Coast miseries are now firmly a thing of the past for these Cardinals. Next stop, another NFC West domination.
Cincinnati (no change): Do you think the Bears are still wondering, if only we’d had THAT Cedric Benson?
Giants (relegated): Out of sync, out of balance, out of luck – and out of the Champions League. Just goes to show that feasting on members of the Terrible Ten over the first five weeks isn’t much use when it comes to anyone else.
Dallas (no change): The immutable law of desperation says a talented team in a ‘must-win’ scenario always beats a talented team with rather less to play for. Let us know how it works out in Week 8.
Atlanta (no change): LDQ* + NDL** = Defeat. Not irreversible
(*LDQ, or Lack of Desperation Quotient; **NDL, or No Discernible Luck)
San Diego (no change): Crisis? What crisis? You see, playing one of the Terrible Ten really is the cure-all.
Philadelphia (no change): The flippant observation is they made terribly hard work of another of the Terrible Ten. The in-depth prognostication is they REALLY made hard work of another of the Terrible Ten.
Green Bay (no change): Two games against members of the Conference; 57-3. Now, is that ANY help at all when it comes to facing a REAL team this week?
Baltimore (no change): the perfect time to take a week off and plan to see if their defensive mojo can match up to the Broncos’ this week.
Houston (no change): Two wins in a row? OK, we’ll take you seriously now.
Chicago (no change): And now, the Bears' D will do an impression of Swiss cheese.
Miami (no change): Talking of Swiss cheese, the Dolphins' 36-point second-half surrender is in pretty much the same territory.
Championship (the teams with everything to prove)
NY Jets (no change): How does a struggling team get well in a hurry? Yes, you guessed it, a game against one of the Terrible Ten is always the answer.
Jacksonville (no change): During their bye week, the Jags will be putting out an APB for the David Garrard of 2007 (with the passer rating of 102.2) as opposed to this year's version (78.5).
San Francisco (no change): Now where has THAT Alex Smith been for the past 3 seasons? More importantly, can he keep it up for more than a half?
Seattle (no change): Never mind the bye week, can the Seahawks get a bye month to try to get a few players healthy again?
Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and the Terrible Ten are STILL intact)
Buffalo (no change): Usual Conference rules apply - you have to beat someone from outside this group to earn any kudos.
Carolina (no change): And turnover machine Jake Delhomme is STILL at QB? How BAD must his back-ups be?
Oakland (no change): NOW will you please go away and find another league to pollute.
Kansas City (no change): How do you spell shambles? C-H-I-E-F-S.
Washington (no change): Even the Eagles seemed to get bored scoring points against them. Another offence going absolutely nowhere.
Tennessee (no change): The glorious safety of the Bye week.
Cleveland (no change): That's 4 games out of 7 being held to six points or less. Hard to see how you get much worse.
Detroit (no change): For once, the carnage of the Conference did not include the Lions - thanks to the Bye week!
Tampa Bay (no change): Pure and utter ineptitude, thy name is Buccaneers.
St Louis (no change): Can you imagine just how bad their games against Detroit and Tennessee might be?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
QBCL Part 6
It must be the praise thing; the signal callers of the Quarterback Challenged League just can't handle it. That's the only way to explain them going from the Penthouse last week to the Outhouse this week. While there were some eye-catching displays from the likes of Tom Brady, Matt Schaub and Drew Brees, there were fully 11 teams who stunk it up so badly, the figures slumped to rock bottom for the season so far. So, with no further ado, let's get on to...
The Figures:
39:34: the worst TD:INT ratio of the season, equalling the lowest passing TD total of the campaign to date (39, in Week 3) and the 2nd worst INT total so far (just one below Week 1's appalling 35). After last week's stellar 41:19, this is stunningly bad. Even worse, with Houston, New Orleans and freakish New England accounting for a lop-sided 14-1 of those, the other 25 teams combined to go 25:33. Mind-boggling.
+5: also the worst of the season, surpassing the feeble +7 of Week 1. From a dizzying +22 last week, too. Nuff said.
3: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (Baltimore-Minnesota, Giants-New Orleans, Denver San Diego). So far this season we've had 3, 4, 4, 5, and 4, so we're back to where we started. Poor.
11: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio (Houston, Green Bay, Baltimore, Minnesota, Giants, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, Arizona, New England, Denver, San Diego), again the worst to date, easily lower than the previous lowest of 14, also in Week 1.
12: multi-TD passing teams (Houston, Green Bay, Baltimore, Minnesota, Giants, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, Arizona, New England, Chicago, Atlanta, Denver). Week 1 provided the worst figure for the season so far (9), but this is still firmly in 'poor' territory.
9: teams that did not produce a passing TD. Equalling the worst of the season (Week 3). Not looking good, is it?
23-10: fumbles and fumbles lost by the various QBs. The average thus far is 19.8-8.1, so, again, this is poor to awful. Only one week has produced more fumbles (Week 4's 24-13), hence the cumulative stats by this stage suggest a major implosion of the QBCL. That was also a ridiculous 44 total turnovers from the guys under center, for anyone who is still counting. In 14 games, at 3.14 per game. Astronomical. Oh, and only ONE game was completely turnover-free (Baltimore-Minnesota).
TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Now, this stat is possibly the one that is most worrying for the league. Because it just keeps on growing. Last week we tabbed a season-high 10 (Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Tennessee, Washington, Buffalo, Tampa, Jacksonville and San Francisco), and NONE of them did anything to escape this conclusion this week (although, admittedly, the 49ers were on a bye!). However, this week we can add the Jets (Mark Sanchez going backwards at an astonishing rate of knots) and Detroit (the combined collapse of Drew Stanton and Daunte Culpepper) for a truly terrible 12. And Seattle took a step back, too. That means more than a third of the league (37.5%) is currently either unsettled or incapable at QB. Can anyone wonder why I still call it the QBCL?
It must be the praise thing; the signal callers of the Quarterback Challenged League just can't handle it. That's the only way to explain them going from the Penthouse last week to the Outhouse this week. While there were some eye-catching displays from the likes of Tom Brady, Matt Schaub and Drew Brees, there were fully 11 teams who stunk it up so badly, the figures slumped to rock bottom for the season so far. So, with no further ado, let's get on to...
The Figures:
39:34: the worst TD:INT ratio of the season, equalling the lowest passing TD total of the campaign to date (39, in Week 3) and the 2nd worst INT total so far (just one below Week 1's appalling 35). After last week's stellar 41:19, this is stunningly bad. Even worse, with Houston, New Orleans and freakish New England accounting for a lop-sided 14-1 of those, the other 25 teams combined to go 25:33. Mind-boggling.
+5: also the worst of the season, surpassing the feeble +7 of Week 1. From a dizzying +22 last week, too. Nuff said.
3: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (Baltimore-Minnesota, Giants-New Orleans, Denver San Diego). So far this season we've had 3, 4, 4, 5, and 4, so we're back to where we started. Poor.
11: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio (Houston, Green Bay, Baltimore, Minnesota, Giants, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, Arizona, New England, Denver, San Diego), again the worst to date, easily lower than the previous lowest of 14, also in Week 1.
12: multi-TD passing teams (Houston, Green Bay, Baltimore, Minnesota, Giants, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, Arizona, New England, Chicago, Atlanta, Denver). Week 1 provided the worst figure for the season so far (9), but this is still firmly in 'poor' territory.
9: teams that did not produce a passing TD. Equalling the worst of the season (Week 3). Not looking good, is it?
23-10: fumbles and fumbles lost by the various QBs. The average thus far is 19.8-8.1, so, again, this is poor to awful. Only one week has produced more fumbles (Week 4's 24-13), hence the cumulative stats by this stage suggest a major implosion of the QBCL. That was also a ridiculous 44 total turnovers from the guys under center, for anyone who is still counting. In 14 games, at 3.14 per game. Astronomical. Oh, and only ONE game was completely turnover-free (Baltimore-Minnesota).
TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Now, this stat is possibly the one that is most worrying for the league. Because it just keeps on growing. Last week we tabbed a season-high 10 (Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Tennessee, Washington, Buffalo, Tampa, Jacksonville and San Francisco), and NONE of them did anything to escape this conclusion this week (although, admittedly, the 49ers were on a bye!). However, this week we can add the Jets (Mark Sanchez going backwards at an astonishing rate of knots) and Detroit (the combined collapse of Drew Stanton and Daunte Culpepper) for a truly terrible 12. And Seattle took a step back, too. That means more than a third of the league (37.5%) is currently either unsettled or incapable at QB. Can anyone wonder why I still call it the QBCL?
Four Levels of Power, Week 6
So now we know. The good teams are all pretty good, and the bad teams are just plain awful. And there's not a whole lot in between. So, with that brief statement in the bank, let us move swiftly on to the unique Four Levels of Power....
Champions League (the Best of the Best)
New Orleans (no change): top of the heap, the cream of the crop, the big cheeses. Where is the weakness in this team?
Indianapolis (no change): Fresh? Check. Rested? Check. Best QB in the League? Check. The Colts have a very checkered look after their bye week.
Minnesota (no change): you feel oxygen may be needed fairly soon as the Vikings taste some pretty rarefied air. Either that, or a pacemaker for their venerable QB.
Denver (no change): all the time they have the opposition playing catch-up, this Denver defense is a beast. And they are feeding on prime beef just now.
Giants (no change): memo to Tom Coughlin. Brandon Jacobs needs work to be effective. Seven carries a game is ludicrous.
Premier League (The SB wannabes)
Atlanta (no change): red alert! Teams that invade the Falcons' red zone come away with little! Read all about it.....
Pittsburgh (no change): A) It was just Cleveland. B) There is still so sign of a consistent running game. And 3) It WAS only Cleveland.
New England (no change): A) It was only Tennessee. B). etc. And 3) That was very possibly the most abject 'defensive' performance of all time.
Arizona (no change): is this the year of the vintage QB? Favre; Manning, P; Brees; and now Warner. In each case, their teams will go as far as these arms will carry them.
Chicago (no change): a major big-stage audition failure. It would be easy to jump on the 'Cutler Can't Pass In The Red Zone' bandwagon, but truth to tell, the disappearance of Matt Forte is more telling. And baffling.
Miami (no change): a week off to sharpen the claws of the Wildcat for the visit of New Orleans; now we'll see if this feline really has legs.
Baltimore (no change): misfortune, thy name is Hauschka.
San Diego (no change): the IRS (Incremental Reverse Syndrome) is now firmly established in Chargerville; all forward progress is arrested and each step seems to take them steadily backwards just now. Their whole season hinges on this week's trip to Kansas.
Philadelphia (no change): a laughable performance at Oakland - just 14 running plays against the league's 30th-ranked run defense, 46 passes (just 48% completion rate), and the first team in three YEARS to fail to score a TD against the Raiders - serves as the Eagles' Cincy moment in 2009. Last year, an equally miserable effort in the 'losing' tie against the Bengals served as the team's rallying point. Anything less against the Redskins on Monday and these birds are toast.
Dallas (no change): Jerry Jones' shiny new stadium may wind up being the Cowboys' only claim to fame in 2009 - unless their team has said 'bye to its mis-firing ways.
Green Bay (promoted): A) it WAS only the Lions. But B) they did a very thorough job.
Cincinnati (no change): was that 4-1 really a mirage? Have the Bengals already reached their high water mark this year? Did you know that if you get one letter wrong in their name you get a 1980s all-girl pop group? (Answers on a postcard.....)
Houston (promoted): if ever the Texans are to be taken seriously, they need to break their win-one, lose-one mentality against the 49ers this week.
Championship (the teams with everything to prove)
Jacksonville (no change): A) It was only the Rams, And B) it was only just. Every time Maurice Jones-Drew got them on the front foot, David Garrard shot them in it. Just Five TDs and 7 turnovers from the Jags' QB so far this season suggests MJD needs to turn into Superman to get this team going anywhere this term.
San Francisco (no change): now we'll see if Dre' is still Dre'. Or if Mike Singletary has had a not-so-quiet word in his shell-like.
NY Jets (relegated): How do you spell Frauds? J-E-T-S.
Seattle (no change): if Matt Hasselbeck isn't the answer for the Seahawks, it's hard to see who is.
Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men. The Terrible Ten remain intact for this week, despite several 'W's. There is such a huge gulf between them and the next level it would take a leap of quantum proportions to get them there)
Carolina (no change): the belated discovery of a running game at Tampa may have papered over some cracks, and the Panthers can add another layer this week against Buffalo. But if they finish more than 4-12 it would still be a major surprise. And that is firmly Conference territory.
Buffalo (no change): let me get this right. Mark Sanchez threw 5 of his 15 'completions' to the Bills and yet they still managed only an overtime squeaker?
Oakland (no change): take away the one freak pass when the Eagles defence went AWOL and Zach Miller rambled most of the 86 yards, and JaMarcus Russell was just 16 of 27 for 138 yards, 0 TDs and 2 INTs. And anyone's supposed to be impressed?
Kansas City (no change): if only the winless could play Washington EVERY week!
Cleveland (no change): trips to Detroit and Kansas are the sole high points left this season for the Browns. And that's being as kind as possible.
Washington (no change): how bad were the Skins at HOME to Kansas City? The Chiefs entered the afternoon giving up 28 points per game and Washington managed just 265 yards of total offense in a field goal suck-fest.
Tennessee (no change): hey, Titans, your bye week is THIS week.
Detroit (no change): the Lions are now 1 for the last 23. That No 2 is now looking a LONG way off.
Tampa Bay (no change): even the inability to fill the stadium can't seem to save Bucs fans from the awful TV truth.
St Louis (no change): well, there are still Detroit and Tennessee....
So now we know. The good teams are all pretty good, and the bad teams are just plain awful. And there's not a whole lot in between. So, with that brief statement in the bank, let us move swiftly on to the unique Four Levels of Power....
Champions League (the Best of the Best)
New Orleans (no change): top of the heap, the cream of the crop, the big cheeses. Where is the weakness in this team?
Indianapolis (no change): Fresh? Check. Rested? Check. Best QB in the League? Check. The Colts have a very checkered look after their bye week.
Minnesota (no change): you feel oxygen may be needed fairly soon as the Vikings taste some pretty rarefied air. Either that, or a pacemaker for their venerable QB.
Denver (no change): all the time they have the opposition playing catch-up, this Denver defense is a beast. And they are feeding on prime beef just now.
Giants (no change): memo to Tom Coughlin. Brandon Jacobs needs work to be effective. Seven carries a game is ludicrous.
Premier League (The SB wannabes)
Atlanta (no change): red alert! Teams that invade the Falcons' red zone come away with little! Read all about it.....
Pittsburgh (no change): A) It was just Cleveland. B) There is still so sign of a consistent running game. And 3) It WAS only Cleveland.
New England (no change): A) It was only Tennessee. B). etc. And 3) That was very possibly the most abject 'defensive' performance of all time.
Arizona (no change): is this the year of the vintage QB? Favre; Manning, P; Brees; and now Warner. In each case, their teams will go as far as these arms will carry them.
Chicago (no change): a major big-stage audition failure. It would be easy to jump on the 'Cutler Can't Pass In The Red Zone' bandwagon, but truth to tell, the disappearance of Matt Forte is more telling. And baffling.
Miami (no change): a week off to sharpen the claws of the Wildcat for the visit of New Orleans; now we'll see if this feline really has legs.
Baltimore (no change): misfortune, thy name is Hauschka.
San Diego (no change): the IRS (Incremental Reverse Syndrome) is now firmly established in Chargerville; all forward progress is arrested and each step seems to take them steadily backwards just now. Their whole season hinges on this week's trip to Kansas.
Philadelphia (no change): a laughable performance at Oakland - just 14 running plays against the league's 30th-ranked run defense, 46 passes (just 48% completion rate), and the first team in three YEARS to fail to score a TD against the Raiders - serves as the Eagles' Cincy moment in 2009. Last year, an equally miserable effort in the 'losing' tie against the Bengals served as the team's rallying point. Anything less against the Redskins on Monday and these birds are toast.
Dallas (no change): Jerry Jones' shiny new stadium may wind up being the Cowboys' only claim to fame in 2009 - unless their team has said 'bye to its mis-firing ways.
Green Bay (promoted): A) it WAS only the Lions. But B) they did a very thorough job.
Cincinnati (no change): was that 4-1 really a mirage? Have the Bengals already reached their high water mark this year? Did you know that if you get one letter wrong in their name you get a 1980s all-girl pop group? (Answers on a postcard.....)
Houston (promoted): if ever the Texans are to be taken seriously, they need to break their win-one, lose-one mentality against the 49ers this week.
Championship (the teams with everything to prove)
Jacksonville (no change): A) It was only the Rams, And B) it was only just. Every time Maurice Jones-Drew got them on the front foot, David Garrard shot them in it. Just Five TDs and 7 turnovers from the Jags' QB so far this season suggests MJD needs to turn into Superman to get this team going anywhere this term.
San Francisco (no change): now we'll see if Dre' is still Dre'. Or if Mike Singletary has had a not-so-quiet word in his shell-like.
NY Jets (relegated): How do you spell Frauds? J-E-T-S.
Seattle (no change): if Matt Hasselbeck isn't the answer for the Seahawks, it's hard to see who is.
Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men. The Terrible Ten remain intact for this week, despite several 'W's. There is such a huge gulf between them and the next level it would take a leap of quantum proportions to get them there)
Carolina (no change): the belated discovery of a running game at Tampa may have papered over some cracks, and the Panthers can add another layer this week against Buffalo. But if they finish more than 4-12 it would still be a major surprise. And that is firmly Conference territory.
Buffalo (no change): let me get this right. Mark Sanchez threw 5 of his 15 'completions' to the Bills and yet they still managed only an overtime squeaker?
Oakland (no change): take away the one freak pass when the Eagles defence went AWOL and Zach Miller rambled most of the 86 yards, and JaMarcus Russell was just 16 of 27 for 138 yards, 0 TDs and 2 INTs. And anyone's supposed to be impressed?
Kansas City (no change): if only the winless could play Washington EVERY week!
Cleveland (no change): trips to Detroit and Kansas are the sole high points left this season for the Browns. And that's being as kind as possible.
Washington (no change): how bad were the Skins at HOME to Kansas City? The Chiefs entered the afternoon giving up 28 points per game and Washington managed just 265 yards of total offense in a field goal suck-fest.
Tennessee (no change): hey, Titans, your bye week is THIS week.
Detroit (no change): the Lions are now 1 for the last 23. That No 2 is now looking a LONG way off.
Tampa Bay (no change): even the inability to fill the stadium can't seem to save Bucs fans from the awful TV truth.
St Louis (no change): well, there are still Detroit and Tennessee....
Saturday, October 17, 2009
These ARE Your Daddy's Yankees!
It may have taken them almost 10 years to get their mojo back, but there can now be little doubt we are watching a vintage - and high-powered - New York Yankees team this year.
Having brushed aside Minnesota with almost contemptuous ease, the Yanks have taken a 1-0 ALCS lead on the Angels with the kind of forceful, overpowering ball we used to see from the team in pin-stripes a while back.
It may have taken them almost 10 years to get their mojo back, but there can now be little doubt we are watching a vintage - and high-powered - New York Yankees team this year.
Having brushed aside Minnesota with almost contemptuous ease, the Yanks have taken a 1-0 ALCS lead on the Angels with the kind of forceful, overpowering ball we used to see from the team in pin-stripes a while back.
Stifling pitching, solid defense, clutch hitting and Derek Jeter making the key hits and plays at short-stop. Sound like 1996? You bet.
And we could well see Joe Torre back in Yankee Stadium for a World Series. Yes, these are most certainly your Daddy's Yankees.
Friday, October 16, 2009
QBCL Part 5
I have to admit, I hadn't followed the essential TD:INT stats as closely as usual during the Week 5 games, hence it was a very pleasant surprise to see the stats (as below) so positive in favour of the NFL (as opposed to the Quarterback Challenged League) this week.
There were the usual exceptions to the rule (Oakland - can it get much uglier there? - and the Cleveland-Buffalo 'game' - just TWO pass completions from Anderson? And Brady STILL can't get in the game??), but by and large, this was a terrific week for showcasing QB skills as opposed to the duffers we have seen all too often in recent years.
There were still some worrying trends if you dig below the surface - there are still fully 10 teams who could be looking at their signal caller and thinking 'Why?' - but this is definitely a step in the right direction. The low INT total and, with one exception (the beleaguered JaMarcus Russell, who coughed the ball up three times), a low fumble quotient, suggest it was a great week to be a QB.
The Figures:
41-19: another hugely impressive TD:INT ratio, following 41:22 and 39:25 in recent weeks. Successive 40-plus weeks is rarefied territory indeed, and we now have FOUR high-production TD weeks out of five (there were only five 40-plus weeks in the WHOLE of 2008). The INT quotient has also DROPPED with every week so far, from 35 in Week 1, to 28, 25, 22 and now 19. Only one week last year (Week 8) had a LOWER figure for INTs (17)
+22: The TD-INT differential is the BEST for two years (improving on even last season's high point, the +19 of Week 1). Impossible to argue with. Major victory for the signal-callers.
4: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (Dallas-Kansas, Houston-Arizona, New England-Denver, Jets-Miami). Right on the average figure, though.
15: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio (Seattle, Indianapolis, Giants, Kansas, New England, Miami, Denver, Pittsburgh, Philly, Washington, Atlanta, Houston, Arizona, Dallas, Jets), same as last week and below the season's best of 18, so again, just average.
14: multi-TD passing teams (Indianapolis, Giants, Kansas, Denver, Pittsburgh, Dallas, Tampa, Philly, Atlanta, Houston, Arizona, New England, Denver and Miami). Again, up on the last two weeks of 12 and 13.
6: teams that did not produce a passing TD. Another decent stat. Only Oakland (again), Cleveland (for the third time in 5 weeks), Buffalo, San Fran, Jacksonville and Tennessee (another worrying trend for the Titans) figured in this category. Up from 5 last week, but still tolerable (unless you are one that six!).
20-8: fumbles and fumbles lost by the various QBs. Still trying to get a handle on the over-under for this stat so far this season. The season low is 3 (Week 2) while we had fully 13 last week, so 8 may be fairly average. The turnover total of 27 is still pretty good, though.
TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Last week we tabbed a season-high 9 (Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Tennessee, Seattle, Washington, Buffalo and Tampa), and this week we could be at 10. Only Seattle did anything to jump out of this category (in a hurry!), while Jacksonville (again) and San Fran made distinct moves in this direction. Detroit continue to hover on the verge, and Baltimore will need a lot more from Joe Flacco against Minnesota. This is starting to get a frighteningly high figure for QB futility, totally at odds with the other trends. But it is also indicative of the Terrible Ten in the Four Levels of Power. So what comes first: the terrible team or the dreadful QB? Answers on a postcard.....
I have to admit, I hadn't followed the essential TD:INT stats as closely as usual during the Week 5 games, hence it was a very pleasant surprise to see the stats (as below) so positive in favour of the NFL (as opposed to the Quarterback Challenged League) this week.
There were the usual exceptions to the rule (Oakland - can it get much uglier there? - and the Cleveland-Buffalo 'game' - just TWO pass completions from Anderson? And Brady STILL can't get in the game??), but by and large, this was a terrific week for showcasing QB skills as opposed to the duffers we have seen all too often in recent years.
There were still some worrying trends if you dig below the surface - there are still fully 10 teams who could be looking at their signal caller and thinking 'Why?' - but this is definitely a step in the right direction. The low INT total and, with one exception (the beleaguered JaMarcus Russell, who coughed the ball up three times), a low fumble quotient, suggest it was a great week to be a QB.
The Figures:
41-19: another hugely impressive TD:INT ratio, following 41:22 and 39:25 in recent weeks. Successive 40-plus weeks is rarefied territory indeed, and we now have FOUR high-production TD weeks out of five (there were only five 40-plus weeks in the WHOLE of 2008). The INT quotient has also DROPPED with every week so far, from 35 in Week 1, to 28, 25, 22 and now 19. Only one week last year (Week 8) had a LOWER figure for INTs (17)
+22: The TD-INT differential is the BEST for two years (improving on even last season's high point, the +19 of Week 1). Impossible to argue with. Major victory for the signal-callers.
4: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (Dallas-Kansas, Houston-Arizona, New England-Denver, Jets-Miami). Right on the average figure, though.
15: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio (Seattle, Indianapolis, Giants, Kansas, New England, Miami, Denver, Pittsburgh, Philly, Washington, Atlanta, Houston, Arizona, Dallas, Jets), same as last week and below the season's best of 18, so again, just average.
14: multi-TD passing teams (Indianapolis, Giants, Kansas, Denver, Pittsburgh, Dallas, Tampa, Philly, Atlanta, Houston, Arizona, New England, Denver and Miami). Again, up on the last two weeks of 12 and 13.
6: teams that did not produce a passing TD. Another decent stat. Only Oakland (again), Cleveland (for the third time in 5 weeks), Buffalo, San Fran, Jacksonville and Tennessee (another worrying trend for the Titans) figured in this category. Up from 5 last week, but still tolerable (unless you are one that six!).
20-8: fumbles and fumbles lost by the various QBs. Still trying to get a handle on the over-under for this stat so far this season. The season low is 3 (Week 2) while we had fully 13 last week, so 8 may be fairly average. The turnover total of 27 is still pretty good, though.
TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Last week we tabbed a season-high 9 (Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Tennessee, Seattle, Washington, Buffalo and Tampa), and this week we could be at 10. Only Seattle did anything to jump out of this category (in a hurry!), while Jacksonville (again) and San Fran made distinct moves in this direction. Detroit continue to hover on the verge, and Baltimore will need a lot more from Joe Flacco against Minnesota. This is starting to get a frighteningly high figure for QB futility, totally at odds with the other trends. But it is also indicative of the Terrible Ten in the Four Levels of Power. So what comes first: the terrible team or the dreadful QB? Answers on a postcard.....
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Four Levels of Power, Week 5
OK, it seems pretty clear who the creme de la creme are this week, hey? Just looking at the Fab Five unbeaten teams ought to be enough, you would think. However, the fact they have been feasting on the truly awful Terrible Ten (see this week's Conference) suggests there has been some padding of records going on.
It's still hard to back against the teams with '0' in the loss column, but rest assured they will be under closer scrutiny in the coming weeks. And, with that in mind, here are this week's NFL power rankings, based on the unique Four Levels of Power....
Champions League (the Best of the Best)
NY Giants (no change): playing the second string BEFORE the half-time break is surely in for a dig? But Oakland really were that wretched, and the Giants have now feasted on no less than FOUR of the 0-fer teams in their five wins. Nice schedule, if you can get it. I'd drop them down a spot or two, but all the others have been whupping members of the Terrible Ten, too!
New Orleans (no change): think Jeremy Shockey might be a little bit amped up this week to face his former team, no matter how often he denies it? (PS: Shockey - amp, geddit?!)
Indianapolis (no change): I remember when Tennessee used to have a D. Apparently not any more. Manning and Co pretty much did whatever they felt like in Memphis, hence I can't push them any higher, in all honesty.
Minnesota (no change): yet another of the Fab Five who were picking over the NFL bones. Beating sad sack St Louis is no cause for advancement. Next! Oh, Mr Lewis? Step this way, sir.....
Denver (promoted): is Kyle Orton a better prospect in this O than Jay Cutler? Let the arguments commence! What? They already have? OK then, let's start counting down to a Broncos-Bears Super Bowl.....
Premier League (The SB wannabes)
Chicago (no change): still 'bubbling under' while their bye week passed. See that team just ahead of you, Jay?
Pittsburgh (no change): Ben Roethlisberger is suddenly on course for a healthy place in this season's MVP debate. Now who is going to step up on the Steelers D to make up for their glaring loss? No, not Troy Polamalu but DE Aaron Smith. Without their No 1 run-stuffer and four of their next six against the run-machine offenses of Minnesota, Denver, Cincinnati and Baltimore, someone is going to have to fill an almight gap. Or Big Ben is going to have to become Peyton Manning, Drew Brees and Tom Brady combined.
Philadelphia (no change): yes, yes, it was only another one of the Terrible Ten but, when the Eagles can unleash another hitherto unseen weapon in the shape of Jeremy Maclin, they have to be knocking on the door. But will they remember they have a running game, though, against the tacklingly-challenged Raiders?
Atlanta (no change): having made light of the supposedly rejuvenated 49ers, the Falcons must now put paid to the Bears. I wonder if they will rack up 28 first downs again? Actually, strike that. I know they won't rack up anywhere near that many, and they won't have Dre' Bly to hand the ball back to them on turnovers, either. Time for Roddy White to show if this was a one-off Fantasy League bonanza or a return to a dismal personal trend.
Cincinnati (promoted): when anyone knocks off the Ravens, they deserve special attention. When they do it with sheer hard-nosed, no-nonsense muscle, they deserve additional scrutiny. So now the Bengals are on notice - do this again and we're going to look at you even more, okay? Their highwire act makes for compelling viewing, though, even if it's not sustainable over a 16-week season.
New England (relegated): was that really a Bill Belichick defence being spread all over the Mile High field on Sunday? Could be some serious cracks in the Patriots' armor, as the offense is hardly lighting it up right now either. Luckily for them, they now get Tennessee, Tampa, and then the bye week, to put things right. So, three weeks off, then.
Baltimore (relegated): likewise, the Ravens have a lot more questions than answers after a second successive head-scratcher. Being out-played by the Patriots (and the officials) is one thing; being out-bullied by Cincinnati is something completely different in John Harbaugh's experience. The trip to Minnesota could be make-or-break for a team with a few bruised egos and a refereeing persecution complex. The first flag that goes against them in the Metrodome could be the cue for a major mental meltdown from Lewis and Co.
San Diego (no change): the schizophrenic nature of this team will be firmly in the spotlight on Monday night. No ducking, no diving - we get to see if they are still contenders or merely pretenders.
Miami (promoted): Ronnie Brown's first major venture onto the season's MVP stage passed off pretty well. And Chad Henne just passed well. In his second career start, against the Jets on Oct 12, he was 20 of 26 for 241 yards and 2 TDs, and a passer rating of 130.4. Funnily enough, Dan Marino's second career start was a win against the Jets, on Oct 16 (1983). He was 17 of 30 for 225 yards and 3 TDs, and a passer rating of 113.9. So Rex Ryan's derisory comment in Henne's direction was actually quite a way off the mark. Henne was even BETTER than Marino!
Arizona (promoted): for 30 minutes, the grand, all-conquering team of last year's NFC post-season were back, flinging the ball around on offense and playing some pretty decent D. Then a different team came out after the break. Luckily for the Cards, one of their defensive stars showed up in the fourth quarter to pick off a pass and return it for the clinching TD. We wait to see which bunch turns up in Seattle on Sunday.
Dallas (no change): well, they won. That keeps the executioner's axe at bay for another two weeks, thanks to the bye. Other than that, there ain't a whole lot to keep the Cowboys faithful well, faithful.
NY Jets (no change): the odour of sour grapes hung thick in the Miami air last Monday night. But this is a team on the cusp - all talk and no walk right now. If they don't make mincemeat of the feeble Bills, they will be completely unmasked as the biggest frauds of the season to date.
Championship (the teams with everything to prove)
Seattle (no change): the most complete all-round display from the Seahawks in years, but we're still no nearer to knowing exactly what kind of team this is. And no, I'm not bitter just because I had Jacksonville kicker Josh Scobee in my Fantasy team last week!
Green Bay (no change): now we'll see how good a re-construction job they did in the bye week.
San Francisco (relegated): good job the 49ers get a week off, because Mike Singletary will need all that extra time to serve up the individual haranguings many of his players require after the miserable surrender against Atlanta.
Jacksonville (relegated): the yo-yo Jags are impossible to sum up just now; just 38 yards rushing? Ten first downs? barely 25 minutes of possession and 0 points? As 'punishment', they get to beat up on hopeless St Louis and Tennessee either side of the bye week. Perhaps they should ALL be down in the Conference and save me the trouble.
Houston (no change): somehow Matt Schaub's heroic failure to complete the comeback from 21-0 down at Arizona is perfectly apt for this franchise. So near, and yet...
Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - so many, so many...)
Carolina (no change): hold on, pardners - yes, it was a win, but did you SEE it? 198 total yards against 248, with another 7 fumbles and the inevitable Jake Delhomme INT. Both O-lines looked like they have more holes than the national debt and it was almost an embarrassment when one team fell over the finish line. Still, a win's a win, hey, and they can do it all again this week against the equally inept Bucs.
Cleveland (no change): see the above. Yes, it was a win, etc, etc. It was won courtesy of a muffed punt and a winning 'drive' that went all of 15 yards. Ugh.
Tennessee (relegated): hey, here's an improvement. Back in week 17 last season, the Titans second-string lost 23-0 to the Colts' second string. So the 31-9 defeat on Sunday night was an improvement of a kind, wasn't it, just 22 points this time? What do you mean first-string? What, Kerry Collins, Chris Johnson and all the D? Oh dear...that means the long, dizzying fall from grace is just about complete. Actually, the limp surrender to Indianapolis was the seventh straight 'L' for Tennessee, including their post-season failure to Baltimore last term. It wasn't so much the fact a once-proud D was taken to the cleaners by Manning but that they looked so clueless and punchless along the way. Manning put up 28 points by early in the third quarter and then pretty much took the rest of the game off with impunity. And now the Titans face an angry New England. Could be ugly. Ugli-er.
Washington (no change): if you've ever seen a balloon with a tiny puncture go down, slowly, feebly and without any resistance, it looks very much like this Redskins team right now.
Detroit (no change): still battling valiantly. Still losing.
Buffalo (relegated): the worst game of the season, no question. And the Bills lost it.
Tampa Bay (no change): Josh Johnson put in another big, brave effort but the Bucs were seriously out-manned against the Eagles. Hard to know if Raheem Morris' men can continue to absorb this kind of punishment for much longer without starting to mail it in.
Kansas City (no change): Chiefs secondary, stay behind after class and write out 100 times, "I must learn to tackle; I must learn to tackle." Miles Austin gained 119 yards on two catches, about 100 of which were after the catch and involved about 10 attempts at 'tackles.' And I use the word VERY loosely.
Oakland (no change): JaMarcus Russell has owned up to being "around" 275lb. At last, we've found what he's really good for! The Raiders can use him as an end. A bookend.
St Louis (no change): well, they DID get 10 points more than the previous week. And, if you added together ALL their points from the season so far, they would only have lost 44-34 to the Vikings.
OK, it seems pretty clear who the creme de la creme are this week, hey? Just looking at the Fab Five unbeaten teams ought to be enough, you would think. However, the fact they have been feasting on the truly awful Terrible Ten (see this week's Conference) suggests there has been some padding of records going on.
It's still hard to back against the teams with '0' in the loss column, but rest assured they will be under closer scrutiny in the coming weeks. And, with that in mind, here are this week's NFL power rankings, based on the unique Four Levels of Power....
Champions League (the Best of the Best)
NY Giants (no change): playing the second string BEFORE the half-time break is surely in for a dig? But Oakland really were that wretched, and the Giants have now feasted on no less than FOUR of the 0-fer teams in their five wins. Nice schedule, if you can get it. I'd drop them down a spot or two, but all the others have been whupping members of the Terrible Ten, too!
New Orleans (no change): think Jeremy Shockey might be a little bit amped up this week to face his former team, no matter how often he denies it? (PS: Shockey - amp, geddit?!)
Indianapolis (no change): I remember when Tennessee used to have a D. Apparently not any more. Manning and Co pretty much did whatever they felt like in Memphis, hence I can't push them any higher, in all honesty.
Minnesota (no change): yet another of the Fab Five who were picking over the NFL bones. Beating sad sack St Louis is no cause for advancement. Next! Oh, Mr Lewis? Step this way, sir.....
Denver (promoted): is Kyle Orton a better prospect in this O than Jay Cutler? Let the arguments commence! What? They already have? OK then, let's start counting down to a Broncos-Bears Super Bowl.....
Premier League (The SB wannabes)
Chicago (no change): still 'bubbling under' while their bye week passed. See that team just ahead of you, Jay?
Pittsburgh (no change): Ben Roethlisberger is suddenly on course for a healthy place in this season's MVP debate. Now who is going to step up on the Steelers D to make up for their glaring loss? No, not Troy Polamalu but DE Aaron Smith. Without their No 1 run-stuffer and four of their next six against the run-machine offenses of Minnesota, Denver, Cincinnati and Baltimore, someone is going to have to fill an almight gap. Or Big Ben is going to have to become Peyton Manning, Drew Brees and Tom Brady combined.
Philadelphia (no change): yes, yes, it was only another one of the Terrible Ten but, when the Eagles can unleash another hitherto unseen weapon in the shape of Jeremy Maclin, they have to be knocking on the door. But will they remember they have a running game, though, against the tacklingly-challenged Raiders?
Atlanta (no change): having made light of the supposedly rejuvenated 49ers, the Falcons must now put paid to the Bears. I wonder if they will rack up 28 first downs again? Actually, strike that. I know they won't rack up anywhere near that many, and they won't have Dre' Bly to hand the ball back to them on turnovers, either. Time for Roddy White to show if this was a one-off Fantasy League bonanza or a return to a dismal personal trend.
Cincinnati (promoted): when anyone knocks off the Ravens, they deserve special attention. When they do it with sheer hard-nosed, no-nonsense muscle, they deserve additional scrutiny. So now the Bengals are on notice - do this again and we're going to look at you even more, okay? Their highwire act makes for compelling viewing, though, even if it's not sustainable over a 16-week season.
New England (relegated): was that really a Bill Belichick defence being spread all over the Mile High field on Sunday? Could be some serious cracks in the Patriots' armor, as the offense is hardly lighting it up right now either. Luckily for them, they now get Tennessee, Tampa, and then the bye week, to put things right. So, three weeks off, then.
Baltimore (relegated): likewise, the Ravens have a lot more questions than answers after a second successive head-scratcher. Being out-played by the Patriots (and the officials) is one thing; being out-bullied by Cincinnati is something completely different in John Harbaugh's experience. The trip to Minnesota could be make-or-break for a team with a few bruised egos and a refereeing persecution complex. The first flag that goes against them in the Metrodome could be the cue for a major mental meltdown from Lewis and Co.
San Diego (no change): the schizophrenic nature of this team will be firmly in the spotlight on Monday night. No ducking, no diving - we get to see if they are still contenders or merely pretenders.
Miami (promoted): Ronnie Brown's first major venture onto the season's MVP stage passed off pretty well. And Chad Henne just passed well. In his second career start, against the Jets on Oct 12, he was 20 of 26 for 241 yards and 2 TDs, and a passer rating of 130.4. Funnily enough, Dan Marino's second career start was a win against the Jets, on Oct 16 (1983). He was 17 of 30 for 225 yards and 3 TDs, and a passer rating of 113.9. So Rex Ryan's derisory comment in Henne's direction was actually quite a way off the mark. Henne was even BETTER than Marino!
Arizona (promoted): for 30 minutes, the grand, all-conquering team of last year's NFC post-season were back, flinging the ball around on offense and playing some pretty decent D. Then a different team came out after the break. Luckily for the Cards, one of their defensive stars showed up in the fourth quarter to pick off a pass and return it for the clinching TD. We wait to see which bunch turns up in Seattle on Sunday.
Dallas (no change): well, they won. That keeps the executioner's axe at bay for another two weeks, thanks to the bye. Other than that, there ain't a whole lot to keep the Cowboys faithful well, faithful.
NY Jets (no change): the odour of sour grapes hung thick in the Miami air last Monday night. But this is a team on the cusp - all talk and no walk right now. If they don't make mincemeat of the feeble Bills, they will be completely unmasked as the biggest frauds of the season to date.
Championship (the teams with everything to prove)
Seattle (no change): the most complete all-round display from the Seahawks in years, but we're still no nearer to knowing exactly what kind of team this is. And no, I'm not bitter just because I had Jacksonville kicker Josh Scobee in my Fantasy team last week!
Green Bay (no change): now we'll see how good a re-construction job they did in the bye week.
San Francisco (relegated): good job the 49ers get a week off, because Mike Singletary will need all that extra time to serve up the individual haranguings many of his players require after the miserable surrender against Atlanta.
Jacksonville (relegated): the yo-yo Jags are impossible to sum up just now; just 38 yards rushing? Ten first downs? barely 25 minutes of possession and 0 points? As 'punishment', they get to beat up on hopeless St Louis and Tennessee either side of the bye week. Perhaps they should ALL be down in the Conference and save me the trouble.
Houston (no change): somehow Matt Schaub's heroic failure to complete the comeback from 21-0 down at Arizona is perfectly apt for this franchise. So near, and yet...
Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - so many, so many...)
Carolina (no change): hold on, pardners - yes, it was a win, but did you SEE it? 198 total yards against 248, with another 7 fumbles and the inevitable Jake Delhomme INT. Both O-lines looked like they have more holes than the national debt and it was almost an embarrassment when one team fell over the finish line. Still, a win's a win, hey, and they can do it all again this week against the equally inept Bucs.
Cleveland (no change): see the above. Yes, it was a win, etc, etc. It was won courtesy of a muffed punt and a winning 'drive' that went all of 15 yards. Ugh.
Tennessee (relegated): hey, here's an improvement. Back in week 17 last season, the Titans second-string lost 23-0 to the Colts' second string. So the 31-9 defeat on Sunday night was an improvement of a kind, wasn't it, just 22 points this time? What do you mean first-string? What, Kerry Collins, Chris Johnson and all the D? Oh dear...that means the long, dizzying fall from grace is just about complete. Actually, the limp surrender to Indianapolis was the seventh straight 'L' for Tennessee, including their post-season failure to Baltimore last term. It wasn't so much the fact a once-proud D was taken to the cleaners by Manning but that they looked so clueless and punchless along the way. Manning put up 28 points by early in the third quarter and then pretty much took the rest of the game off with impunity. And now the Titans face an angry New England. Could be ugly. Ugli-er.
Washington (no change): if you've ever seen a balloon with a tiny puncture go down, slowly, feebly and without any resistance, it looks very much like this Redskins team right now.
Detroit (no change): still battling valiantly. Still losing.
Buffalo (relegated): the worst game of the season, no question. And the Bills lost it.
Tampa Bay (no change): Josh Johnson put in another big, brave effort but the Bucs were seriously out-manned against the Eagles. Hard to know if Raheem Morris' men can continue to absorb this kind of punishment for much longer without starting to mail it in.
Kansas City (no change): Chiefs secondary, stay behind after class and write out 100 times, "I must learn to tackle; I must learn to tackle." Miles Austin gained 119 yards on two catches, about 100 of which were after the catch and involved about 10 attempts at 'tackles.' And I use the word VERY loosely.
Oakland (no change): JaMarcus Russell has owned up to being "around" 275lb. At last, we've found what he's really good for! The Raiders can use him as an end. A bookend.
St Louis (no change): well, they DID get 10 points more than the previous week. And, if you added together ALL their points from the season so far, they would only have lost 44-34 to the Vikings.
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