NFL Four Levels of Power, Week 17

It’s all over – after “the most remarkable final regular season day of all time” according to some sources (which usually means they couldn’t be bothered to look up if there had been anything similar in the annals, and are counting upon us not to remember!), the Deadly Dozen teams for this year’s play-offs are all set. But where do they figure in the final workings of our Four Levels of Power? Read on for a few surprises (and some decidedly predictable outcomes)….

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE (The genuine Super Bowl contenders)

NY Giants (no change) – Injured players rested? Check. Others given a decent run-out? Check. Team still looking competitive? Check. Running game still functioning without Brandon Jacobs (30 rushes for 135 yards)? Check. Now on to January 11…

Tennessee (no change) – Injured players rested? Check. Others given a decent run-out? Um, not exactly. Team still looking competitive? Not really. Running game still functioning without Chris Johnson (18 rushes for 83 yards)? Check. Now on to January 10 (with some trepidation)…

Pittsburgh (no change) – As I said last week: “Ben Roethlisberger also deserves the chance to finish a Sunday without a new collection of bruises.” What was that? Carried off? On a stretcher? Concussion? Meaningless game? What, there were no back-ups available? And yet Cleveland could still give Bruce Gradkowski a full run-out? Ye gods…..

Indianapolis (no change) – The campaign to get Peyton Manning his third MVP Award is now in full swing, and he does have a hugely compelling case. But he does also have a pretty decent cast to work with, and his overall stats are still of the good-but-not-great variety (6th in yardage, 5th in touchdowns, 3rd in completion percentage and 5th in QB Rating; i.e. not top in any single passer category for the season, and the MVP is for a full season’s work, by the way, not just the final 9 games). Additionally, he was sacked just 14 times (3rd lowest in the league, which suggests he still has a solid OL to work behind – unlike poor ol’ Big Ben or even Little Brother). Over in Minnesota, Adrian Peterson has just guard Steve Hutchinson to keep him company in the Pro Bowl ranks on offense, while the team’s play at QB has been questionable to say the least. Yet ‘All Day’ powered to 1,760 yards and 10 TDs and was unarguably the biggest single factor on his team’s play-off push. Michael Turner at Atlanta possibly did even more (1,699 yards, 17TDs, and a league-leading 376 attempts). I’m just saying…..

Baltimore (no change) – Here’s the skinny on the Ravens’ play-off chances. In the regular season, they were 10-0 against non-play-off foes, and 1-5 against those who are still alive in January. The good news? The only post-season rival they beat was Miami……

Carolina (no change) – The Panthers proved they could overcome a pass-happy offense in their cliff-hanging season finale and, guess what? There is another pass-happy offense on the horizon (Arizona) waiting for their tilt. It’s all set up, then, for Giants-Panthers II at The Meadowlands on January 18.

Atlanta (no change) – That was a surprisingly hesitant win over the Rams, and four of their five defeats this season came on the road. The Giants were the only team to win at Arizona when the Cardinals were still in ‘switched on’ mode (their last 3 games were all of the Mailed In variety). Which means everyone predicting a Falcons win on Saturday may be a tad disappointed.

Miami (no change) – The stats tell us that Miami’s achievement in turning 1-15 into 11-5 is only equal to the ‘99 Colts turning 3-13 into 13-3. Pshaw, say I! The ’07 Dolphins had virtually no discernible talent while Indy boasted a certain P Manning in their line-up. Advantage Miami, say I!

New England (no change) – So, no favors from the feeble Jets or the dismal Jags, and no play-off place for the Pats. But I did see several nominations of a certain W. Belichick, Esq, for Coach of the Year. Which could be easy to argue after their amazing catalogue of injuries this year, including Richard Seymour for the ground game slugfest in Buffalo. It’s actually hard to think of any other coach who has done more with less this season (Tony Sparano, Jim Harbaugh and Mike Smith included).

San Diego (promoted) – If Norv Turner can get his men back down from Cloud 9 (or Cloud 52-21, which is in the vicinity), they may just be the genuine ‘under the radar’ team in these play-offs. They may need a pinball machine to keep score against the Colts on Saturday.

PREMIER LEAGUE (Those with title ambitions)

Minnesota (no change) – I can hear it already: “We don’t get no respect,” complain the Vikings as they march all the way to the NFC Championship game, where Ryan Longwell misses a 51-yarder as time expires.

Philadelphia (promoted) – Jekyll and Hyde have absolutely nothing on this bunch. From the outhouse to the penthouse in the space of 7 days. The odds of both Chicago and Tampa losing to teams with nothing to play for, plus the continuation of the now-famous Dallas December choke, were roughly 3 gazillion to one (actually, the latter was 2-1 ON, but the other two took some believing). Their 3-5 road record adds a few gazillion more to the chances against their bandwagon continuing for much longer, though.

Arizona (promoted) – It’s not so much the fact that they are, after all, in the play-offs as the huge drop-off after them that sees the Cardinals’ elevation. It’s hard to see anyone below this having anything other than major rebuilding to do in the off-season.

CHAMPIONSHIP (The teams with it all to prove; or, none of this bunch were even remotely play-off worthy)

And boy is this a tough group to grade at the end of term. A full Baker’s Dozen who either flattered to deceive or finished with a minor flourish. I guess we could start with those who just need to be more consistent….

Chicago (relegated) – Lo and behold, it wasn’t the Bears’ offense that let them down (for the most part) but the much-vaunted defense, Brian Urlacher and all. In their final 4 defeats, they gave up 21, 37, 34, and 31 points.

New Orleans (relegated) – Here’s a quick glance into the crystal ball for 2009 – Drew Brees throws for 10,000 yards, 60 touchdowns, and the Saints still go 8-8. What was that about defense…..?

Houston (no change) – Mario Williams: 48 games, 30.5 sacks, 159 tackles (122 solo, or 2.5 per game). His ’08 stats were also slightly down on ’07. No bust, certainly, but hardly the momentum-changing defensive force the Texans would have hoped for. They could have had Greg Jennings instead – and what a one-two wideout combo with Andre Johnson that would be.

San Francisco (no change) – Fortune, thy name is Singletary. But is it Shaun Hill (3:4 TDs to INTs in the final 3 games)?

Green Bay (no change) – No compassion these Packers. Did Donald Driver really need to catch that 71-yard TD bomb from Aaron Rodgers with the Lions trailing just 24-21? I mean, Greg Jennings had already gone over 100 yards, as had Ryan Grant, AND DeShawn Wynn. Trés four-midable, perhaps…..

Dallas (relegated) – The first of the Collapso Quartet. What to make of four teams that disappeared down the gurgler like so much used bath-water? For Item One, I give you, Emperor Nero, ahem Phillips, who fiddled while Romo burned (OK, OK, I know; I used that line this time last year, but it’s still perfectly relevant).

Tampa Bay (relegated) – Item Two, the Amazing Disappearing Defense. What would the Bucs have given for just ONE appearance from their vaunted D during that four-game skid?

NY Jets (no change) – For Item Three, I introduce The Man Who Never Was. The Jets brought in Brett Favre at the beginning of the season thinking he was tailor-made for the end-of-season drama which the AFC East actually delivered in spades. Only somewhere along the way Favre morphed into someone we hadn’t seen before, an injury-racked, hesitant and rather forlorn figure who wouldn’t have looked out of place in the 4-12 Jets of 2007. By the name of Pennington. Only he morphed into someone else in Miami…..

Denver (no change) – And finally, for Item Four, we have The Invisible Men (or at least the 11 who masqueraded as the Broncos’ defense in three games when they conceded a total of 112 points). That’s enough to get a long-serving head coach sacked…..

Washington (no change) – Santana Moss started the season like a house on fire with 5 TDs, 42 receptions and three 100-yard games in the first eight. His second eight produced just 1 TD, 37 receptions and no 100-yard outings. Just 14 total receiving TDs also suggests where the Redskins need to look in the Draft.

Oakland (promoted) – “Can we play you every week?” said the Raiders to the Buccaneers. But, realistically, they ain’t going to go far with a QB who averages just 160 yards a week (and he didn’t even reach that against the Bucs).

Jacksonville (no change) – Nine years, one play-off win. Re-arrange these words to form a well-known phrase or saying: to, back, drawing-board, the.

Seattle (no change) – Seneca Wallace quietly had a nice finish to the season, throwing for 11 TDs and only 3 INTs in 9 games. He won only 3 of them but, without a running game (the 4 featured backs managed just 1,574 yards from 382 attempts, or an average of barely 4 yards, and just 10 TDs – 25th in the league), that’s an impressive solo effort. The NFC West may be slightly more competitive next year.

BLUE SQUARE CONFERENCE (Down among the dead men)

With Oakland eventually escaping the Curse of the Conference, our final Sickly Six will all need some powerful medicine to turn them into anything resembling contenders next time around. The bottom five were also outscored 122-54.

Cincinnati (no change) – Let me get this straight; the Bungals manage just 4 wins after a 7-9 finish in 2007 and 8-8 record in ’06 and Marv Lewis keeps his job while Mike Shanahan and Eric Mangini lose theirs? And those last 2 wins came against the truly execrable Chiefs and Browns. They didn’t beat a team with a winning record, and no-one scored fewer points this season. Can you spell 4-12 in 2009?

Buffalo (no change) – They lost 13-0 to the Patriots in crapshoot weather, and were lucky to get 0.

Kansas City (no change) – Just 6 points? Against Cincinnati? And Herm Edwards still has a job here? Yikes.

St Louis (no change) – Hey, they only finished 7 games off the division lead at 2-14.

Cleveland (no change) – Now we get back into stat-land with a vengeance, as the Browns managed a league record 6 games (plus one play short of another quarter) without an offensive TD after their second successive shutout (and just 21 points in that run – but they STILL scored more than Cincinnati this season). The quarterbacks in that period: 84 of 188 for 722 yards, 0 TDs and a wonderful 13 INTs (a healthy 2 a game). The running game: 155 attempts for 542 yards (3.49 yards per rush). In all, we have 343 touches of the ball from the offense and ZERO TDs. Nil, nought, nada, nothing, zilch. The law of averages says you’d have to fall into the end zone at least once in that time. And, to set the seal on it, the Steelers pulled most of their starters after half-time and still didn’t give up a point! Can it get any worse? Yes, of course, because we still have……

*Drum roll……….* Detroit (no change) – Our all-time Champions of Futility, our Merchants of Misery, the Kings of Uselessness. They tried to deceive us by pretending to stage a comeback at Green Bay, but we knew all along they were just playing (along). Rod Marinelli at least had the decency to fall on his sword with a measure of grace. The three Chief Clowns are still in charge of this circus, however. And they only get two picks in the Draft’s first round (the top 10 probably still wouldn’t be enough). Can you say ‘No season ticket sales’?