The Brit Pick

2010-01-25T08:07:00.000-08:00

Get Ready for the Mega Bowl!

Blimey. And strewth. And crikey. And a lot more breathless epithets after that.

We always suspected that if the Saints ever overcame 40-odd years of NFL under-achievement, it would be worth waiting for. But the tectonic-shift reaction to their Curate's Egg of an NFC Championship win over Minnesota is threatening to put everthing else in the gold-and-black-tinged shade for the next two weeks.

Forget the Super Bowl, this will be a Mega event that could easily eclipse the fervor generated by the likes of Pittsburgh, Dallas and even party-oriented Miami in previous years.

The fact it will be against the uber-corporate, buttoned down Colts only adds to the contrast and sense of anticipation this match-up is likely to generate.

Put simply, it will be a full-on, hectic, 14-day celebration-fest as the Big Easy not only gets its head around the unique idea of playing for all the marbles on the ultimate stage, but its lips, mouth and stomach as well.

The bars (and restaurants, and stores, and any other stray business in between) of South Florida had better be ready for the onslaught because, if Sunday night's initial frenzy is anything to go by, they are about to be hit by Hurricane Post-Katrina and a true evocation of triumphal tumult that will make Spring Break seem like a genteel garden tea party!

And that's before we even consider the team that stumbled over the finish line in star-struck amazement on Sunday night, courtesy of Garrett Hartley's right leg. By the end, it was a team that looked tighter than a funeral drum, but they found a way to overcome their own nervous shortcomings with a series of increasingly improbable plays that added up to utter nirvana for their followers.

Hartley, Tracy Porter (the big INT), Jonathan Vilma (the othert key INT), Scott Fujita (a fumble recovery), Jahri Evans (who recovered a key Drew Brees fumble) and the Vikings player who called "Heads" (when the overtime coin toss came down tails) were the unlikely heroes of a win that seemed more and more unlikely the longer this extraordinary game went on.

Some of Brees' throws in the second half seemed to come from an arm that grew shorter and shorter with every series, signs of the excruciating pressure that built to such heights it's a wonder the Superdome didn't explode through sheer tension.

But the Saints defense did just enough, despite allowing a fairly monstrous 475 yards. The number of times a live ball hit the turf was testament to the fury which they brought to the game and was, ultimately, the difference between a wake and the party-to-the-end-them-all that now threatens the Miami environs.

The only question is, will the denizens of New Orleans ever sober up from this epic football adventure?

2010-01-21T09:29:00.001-08:00

The Joy Of Rex!

You have to love the chances of Rex Ryan's New York Jets on Sunday. Written off by all and sundry for their showdown with the Colts (with the notable exception of ex-Patriot Tedy Bruschi), they seem to have few friends outside the immediate environs of New Jersey.

Now, everyone knows us Brits love to support an underdog, but there is nothing particularly soft or cuddly about Ryan's breed of playoff mongrels. Sure, they have a sprinkling of pedigree performers (Darrelle Revis, Thomas Jones and Bart Scott), but the general style is terrier crossed with rotweiler, with the accent on the latter on defense. Not especially lovable.

But when it comes to the coach's own overblown, shoot-from-the-lip style, you have to stand up and cheer for someone who brings a breath of fresh air to the cliched, uber-corporate verbiage of the Colts ('One game at a time,' 'Great respect for Jets,' blah, blah, blah).

Everyone KNOWS Peyton Manning is the league MVP and has posted a gazillion yards passing in the past 10 years; everyone KNOWS he has great wide receivers and a non-existent running game; and everyone KNOWS Indy has some fairly quick-but-undersized members of its D (*yawn*).

But we still don't know very much about these snapping, snarling underdogs (they didn't have a player in the Top 20 for tackles in the regular season, by the way, while Calvin Pace only just scraped into the Top 20 for sacks - surprising figures for the No.1-rated defense), and Ryan is helping to build a compelling picture of a team that is driven by collective - and very real - belief.
More importantly, this team wears its heart very firmly on its sleeve and puts itself right up there to be shot up. "We believe we can win and we're going out there to prove it," they bark. There's no disrespect to the opposition, just a shining, heartfelt conviction that they're ready to march out behind their coach and back up his words to the very hilt.

And, when they do, they take a rare, simple enjoyment in their success. The exuberance of rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez (the player memorably branded a "knucklehead" by Ryan earlier this season, remember!), the exhilaration of Shonn Greene and the clinical energy of arch-assassin Revis all stick out like neon billboards of gridiron brilliance.

Then there's the coach himself. Beaming all over his face after their summary dismissal of the crestfallen Chargers, he came across more like an excited schoolboy than a buttoned-up head coach of a team just 60 minutes from the Super Bowl itself.

Yes, he IS taking it one game at a time. But purely to savor the fun and thrills of each individual occasion. His enthusiasm for the job - and for his players - comes across the TV screen loud and clear, and there is just no mistaking the crest-of-a-wave stimulation that is driving Ryan and his men.

It is purely and simply the joy of Rex.

2010-01-20T07:38:00.000-08:00

Justin Time To Show Up This Sham

I read somewhere prior to the start of the Australian Open how women's tennis had never had greater depth and been more compelling viewing. And then Justine Henin showed up and blew the whole idea out of the water.

Consider this - a player takes a 20-month hiatus from the sport, then returns to a Grand Slam tournament and dumps out the No 5 seed in straight sets. Great depth? Don't make me laugh.

Women's tennis has never been less compelling and less worth watching. First Kim Clijsters takes a leave-of-absence from the sport and then returns to find she is just as competitive as ever. And now Henin does the same and proves it is not only stuck in a timewarp, it is actually the sport that time left behind.

Compelling? To hear a bunch of graceless East Europeans screeching their way through games? Compelling? When only 22 of the 80 matches so far have gone to 3 sets (that's just 27%, by the way, compared to 42% in the men's singles)? Compelling? When 15% of those women's matches include a 6-0 set (as opposed to just 4% in the men's)?

Or maybe they are just talking about who Serena Williams will threaten next.

2010-01-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

Bloodhound Alert!

Those who revel in the misfortune of others will be out in force this weekend. You know the type - the 'I-told-you-so' merchants, nay-sayers and purveyors of doom and gloom; those who insist that a particular outcome spells instant misery - the bloodhounds.

The scent of blood in the water brings them out every time, and the Divisional round of the playoffs seems to have drawn an increasing number of circling 'sharks', keen to home in on the slightest hint of weakness.

And it all adds a delicious edge to the prospect of the four games, which are already pushing 10 on the Epic-ometer, especially in the NFC.

Let's take it game by game and assess who is most likely to fall prey to the bloodhounds:

San Diego v NY Jets

The sheer presence of the walking quote machine that is Rex Ryan provides extra spice to this stage of the post-season. I'm rooting for New York to reach Miami simply so we can enjoy the off-the-charts spectacle of Monstosaurus Rex telling all and sundry how the Jets are not only this year's best team (and, of course, of all time), but can probably cure cancer, diabetes, the national debt and create world peace if given the chance. You go, Rex!

But the inverse, of course, is that the chance the Jets will go tumbling under the basketball-style ethos of the Chargers and their Masai warriors (aka the wideout corps) will inevitably grab the interest of those who delight in the 'He deserves his comeuppance' school of journalism. So keep an eye on that one.

Equally, Norv Turner has an impressive 7-4 playoff record as a head coach and the team's laudable 13-3 regular season finish would render him pretty much bullet-proof, you'd imagine. But whoa there, Nellie! Some South California sources insist it is Super Bowl-or-Bust for our man Norval, hence there could well be a fair bit to keep the sharks patroling here.

Indianapolis v Baltimore

Jim Caldwell has every reason to feel the breath of the bloodhounds on his neck in the Lucas Oil Stadium. Having pretty much given his key men the last month off (last full game of any relevance, v Jacksonville, Dec 17), Caldwell will hear the howls of disapproval from the Colts faithful loud and clear if Peyton Manning and Co don't come bursting from the gates like the hottest team in Hades.

Any hint of rust will be analyzed to the Nth degree and, should Indy fall to 0-4 in playoff games after a bye week, both Caldwell and GM Bill Polian will not be allowed to forget it for the rest of their NFL careers.

John Harbaugh is not off the hook of popular scrutiny, either, even though his Ravens have already demonstrated a starting-gate speed worthy of Beelzebub himself. The ongoing debate over Joe Flacco's injury status means that, too, becomes an extra element to put under the Spotlight of Implacable Inspection. If Joe struggles, expect Harbaugh to face that question ad nauseam.

New Orleans v Arizona

Talk of needing a pinball machine to keep score in the Louisiana Superdome should mean this is inevitably a low-scoring, defensive affair, with the winners emerging only from a last-minute field goal (or, ideally, a safety). That means both quarterbacks (and their offensive coordinators) will be mercilessly sniffed by the media bloodhounds here.

The possible imminent retirement of the inestimable Kurt Warner is another choice element to keep the carnivores circling, while the late-season partial meltdown of the Saints and their early anointment as Super Bowl favorites means Sean Payton should also fear a post-game dissecting if his plans go awry.

Minnesota v Dallas

Saving the best for last (in bloodhound terms), we have the potential carnage of the implications of defeat for EITHER side here.

Dallas have suddenly become the media darlings for throwing off their previous post-season imperfections. Yet you sense - especially in the Dallas region - the wolves are only temporarily held at bay when it comes to ripping up The Team That Jerry Built (as opposed to a jerry-built team).

According to some, Tony Romo needs at least one more game on his Resume of Playoff Positivity to keep the critics (and hounds) off his back, despite the evidence of the last month. And Wade Phillips needs at least an NFC Championship date on his to accomplish the same.

But then there are the Vikings and, more keenly, the relationship of Messrs Childress and Favre. This latter has been eagerly scrutinized by the Minnesota media in recent weeks and any hint of disharmony or, more seriously, weakness, will be the cue for some serious baying of the hounds-in-hindsight.

Every which way you size it up, there is scope for extra enjoyment and additional lip-smacking relish. Every game has sub-plots galore and major potential for post-game dissection.

Or, as we might say in the UK, a Bloody Good Show.

2010-01-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

Once A Liar, Always A Liar

So Mark McGwire thinks he can wheedle his way back into the public's good graces with his 'confession' about using steroids during his increasingly suspect career?

He tried hard to say all the right things in those carefully-arranged interviews and even shed a few crocodile tears at the dastardly fate that has befallen him as a baseball pariah. "If only I hadn't done it...." was the gist of his sorrowful remorse.

Well, the fact is, you DID do it, Mark. And to try to insist that it was ONLY because you were trying to get fit from all those injuries (not, of course, that all the drug-taking might have caused those injuries in the first place!) is to place too much of a burden of disbelief on an already disbelieving public.

We're expected to think that anabolic steroids (mainly used as a prime performance-enhancing drug in building muscle mass) DIDN'T play a part in your big-hitting career? That all those monstrous out-of-the-park blasts in unprecedented numbers in 1998 WEREN'T the immediate result of being juiced up? That you gained NO playing advantage from them? And that practically everyone else was taking them, too (which is the inference of you saying you felt under pressure to "keep up")?

What complete and utter balderdash. Lies followed by more lies. A cheat trying to cheat his way back into the public's good graces.

Or, to put it even more succinctly, when his tearful insistence came over the TV that his talents "only came from the guy upstairs," my wife snorted and responded pithily, "Yes, from the doctor on the second floor!"

2010-01-09T14:35:00.000-08:00

King Peyton IV

So it's Peyton Manning. Again. The NFL's MVP. Again. And here come all the nay-sayers. Again.

It should have been Drew Brees. No, it should have been Brett Favre. But what about Philip Rivers? Or Chris Johnson?

Of course, some are keen to see anyone other than Manning, P., pick up another award. I mean, it's so boring, isn't it?

Actually, no it isn't. Just as we knew we were witnessing history-in-the-making during the Giants' final drive in Super Bowl XLII, we are seeing one of THE very greatest NFL careers of all time playing out before our eyes.

Think about it. Most of us never got to see Jim Brown or Johnny Unitas or Joe Namath ply their trade on a regular basis (even though they are hardly pre-history, TV coverage of the game was still in its infancy, and there was no NFL Today, NFL Network or ESPN.com to bring the game into our homes every hour of the day) and Joe Montana has been retired for 16 years now. Joe's 164 games started is also already some way behind Peyton's 192, by the way.

So it should be crystal clear to even the Doubting Thomases that it's time to stop the nit-picking, short-changing, sour-looking, fault-finding, parsimonious, sanctimonious, censorious attitudes out there and admit:

King Peyton IV is truly the MVP for this generation.

2010-01-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

Let's All Do The Snow Dance!

Don't blink or you'll miss it. That could be the message for those who enjoy the sight of the shivering sideline masses come playoff time, as it could be that we have only the one true winter game to anticipate this year.

The Jets at Cincinnati offers the full potential for a winter wonderland viewing experience on Saturday afternoon. But, after that?

Certainly, there is little scope for things to chill out in Arizona (especially as they have that retractable roof in the highly unlikely event of the freeze casting its influence as far as Phoenix), while Dallas may be cold but the forecast insists there is a 0% chance of any precipitation.

New England summons up a soupcon of hope that things could take a turn for the wintry worst but, again, the weatherfolk are not currently predicting as much as a flake there, either (which is doubly disappointing when you recall the unforgettable 'Tuck Rule' game in 2002, which set new standards for snowy superlatives).

And, after this weekend, the possibilities for a seasonal scene or two diminish rapidly. San Diego? Are you having a laugh? New Orleans? Only if the lid blows off the Superdome. Indianapolis? Another indoor comfort zone. And Minnesota? Well, it will certainly be suitably slippery on the outside, but fans and players alike will remain dome alone.

So, unless the AFC's top seeds are suddenly all blown away in an underdog gale, allowing the Patriots or Bengals (or even the Jets, if we're stretching things a bit) to stage another game; or unless the Packers and Eagles prove a truly deadly Wild Card pairing (in which case Green Bay will set the stage for the unlikeliest of NFC Championship games), the chances of another Snow Bowl, Ice Bowl or just plain Really Rather Cold & Wintry Bowl, remain, ahem, out in the cold.

2010-01-05T13:39:00.000-08:00

NFL Four Levels of Power, Week 17

The final power rankings of the season, now the murky waters of the playoff pool have finally cleared, reveal two more teams have made a last-minute gallop for the top level, while several previous front-runners have come up with a wrong ‘un (notably Cincinnati). Read on and revel in our unique Four Levels of Power…..

Champions League (our Deadly Dozen genuine Super Bowl contenders)

Indianapolis (no change): I’m not going to judge this book by its Cover 2; let’s just say the final two weeks don’t count and, when it matters, the season’s MVP will be back striding the gridiron fields of America like the gigantic Manningosaurus that he is.

San Diego (no change): First-string all hale and hearty? Check. Back-ups in tune and ready if needed? Check. Basketball wideout corps looking just as tall as ever? Checkmate. If there were ever two teams literally and figuratively head and shoulders above their AFC rivals, these two are it.

Minnesota (no change): Putting 400 points on the ailing Giants’ D is not what elevates the Vikings to the cream of the NFC crop but the fact they kept Eli Manning and Co practically scoreless. Because (altogether now), “Defense wins championships!!”

Dallas (no change): The other post-season cliché insists that a team must be able to run the ball. Step forward the twin-headed monster of Marion Barber and Felix Jones, looking truly monstrous at just the right time.

New England (no change): Can the Pats come out of their mourning glory long enough to be a playoff force? Only Julian Edelman will know. If he can fill the tiny-but-substantial shoes of Wes Welker, even a banged-up Tom Brady remains a powerful force provided he has another Mr Reliable to complement his rolling stone who gathers plenty of Moss. Oh, and what other team currently has a sixth rd draft pick (Brady) throwing to a seventh rounder (Edelman)?

Green Bay (no change): There’s nothing Favre-lite about this passing attack. Peter King did the perfect Rodgers-Favre comparison in his superb MMQB column this week and the Pack have not been short-changed by their second-year starter. But Ryan Grant will carry their hopes of a deep playoff run.

New Orleans (no change): Heaven knows what team will emerge from the Louisiana deep-freeze in 12 days’ time. Sean Payton’s ability to revive the near-corpse-like state of this once unstoppable bandwagon will be closely under scrutiny.

Arizona (no change): It’s deja vu all over again. Isn’t this how we entered the post-season in 2009? Anyone care to bet we’ll see the Cards deal the same hand once again?

Baltimore (promoted): Been there, done it and bought the T-shirt. Now Joe Flacco must prove that he learned enough this time last year to take the team a step further.

Philadelphia (no change): Apparently, the Eagles thought they had a bye in Week 17. They may also find they have a bye after this weekend now, too.

New York Jets (promoted): Mr Lucky, aka Rex Ryan, will lead his ground-force storm-troopers into Cincy this weekend with a balanced attack of 3 passes (for 10 yards) and 75 runs (for 475). PS: Alarming stat of the week – the Jets rank 31st in passing this season.

Cincinnati (oh-so-nearly-relegated): The Bengals’ pop-gun attack has been sputtering badly since the mid-point of the season and they managed just 51 points in their miserable 1-3 finish. They aren’t so much out of ammo right now as firing blind. In a dark room. Upside down. Doesn’t make for a thrilling prospect on Sunday, does it?

Premier League (Next season’s SB hopefuls)

Pittsburgh (no change): “A win, a win, my kingdom for a win!” That plaintive cry can be heard all over western Pennsylvania as their 7 defeats by an average of 4 points (including 5 by just a solitary, angst-ridden field goal) now looks the most painful statistic in the league.

Atlanta (promoted): Will the real Michael Turner return in 2010? 1,699 yards in 16 games and 17 TDs in ‘08; 871 in 11 with 10 in ‘09.

Houston (no change): This is a story of four running backs, none of whom topped 500 yards or 4 TDs all season. In fact, only one – Arian Foster – improved on 3.9yds/carry. Peyton Manning and Philip Rivers are both adept at running an offense with little help from the running game. Matt Schaub? Not yet.

Tennessee (no change): In Week 6, the Titans fell to a 59-0 defeat at New England and Jeff Fisher was officially on the endangered list. One 8-2 run later (with defeats only to the AFC’s top 2) and the name of Kerry Collins is only whispered to scare young children into obedience (and Fisher into a cold sweat of ‘If onlys’).

Carolina (promoted): Please, anyone, don’t even think of uttering the name Jake Delhomme around here any more.

Miami (no change): So THAT’S where Tyler Thigpen ended up.

San Francisco (promoted): They did the double over Arizona but otherwise couldn’t beat a team with a winning record. Not the stuff of playoff contenders just yet.

Championship (the teams who need to go back to the drawing board)

Chicago (no change): The not-so-magic number for the Bears is 26. If Jay Cutler gets anywhere near that total for INTs again next year, that first-round pick to the Broncos will look awfully sick (in the true sense of the word).

Denver (relegated): And talking of literally throwing games away, here’s another one where the jury won’t stay out much longer if there isn’t more consistency.

NY Giants (no change): This one wasn’t so much mailed in as completely abandoned. That’s 142 points conceded in the final 4 games. For a team with so much defensive talent that’s borderline criminal.

Jacksonville (no change): If the Jaguars left town now, would anyone notice?

Cleveland (no change): Jerome Harrison: 3 games, 561 yards. Derek Anderson: 3 games, 283 yards. Guess who might get the next start and who won’t?

Blue Square Conference (the teams who don’t even HAVE a drawing board)

Tampa Bay (relegated): Last year, 9-7 and a whisker away from the playoffs. This year a truly miserable 3-13 and not in sight of them with a telescope. Still think Jon Gruden was the problem?

Kansas City (no change): Growing pains or throwing pains? Last season the Chiefs’ motley collection of QBs put up 3,312 yards, with 23 TDs and 16 INTs. This term, with ‘franchise’ man Matt Cassel at the helm, numbers dropped to 2,922, 18 and 17. Oops.

Oakland (no change): Tom Cable or JaMarcus Russell? Doesn’t sound like a great either/or choice for Raiders fans.

Buffalo (no change): Marshawn Lynch was a big hit in 2008. Still, at least he avoided another hit-and-run case in 2009. Shame he couldn’t make any impact on the field instead.

Seattle (no change): Their best offensive output of the final 4 weeks – a miserable 13 points – wasn’t enough to scrape past a Tennessee side interested only in getting Chris Johnson his 2,000 yards. At 5-7, things didn’t look SO bleak for the Seahawks. Now..*insert ‘Bambi’ quote here*….

Washington (no change): That 1-6 finish was about as bad as ANY team got this season. Even the Lions were able to match that. The Skins’ DO still have the semblance of a defense, though.

Detroit (no change): Well, you have to say they got better in 2009. But then so did Ford, and they’re still at death’s door.

St Louis (no change): Well, they DID beat Oakland’s recent record for offensive futility (168 points, in 2006) – by ONE! But it’s hard to know how anyone can start to rebuild a team that finished 29th on defense AND offense. The truly amazing stat, though? There were four teams that finished below them for passing – the Raiders, Bills, Jets, and Browns.

*”If you can’t say somethin’ nice, don’t say nuthin’ at all.”

2010-01-03T20:21:00.000-08:00

What the heck was THAT?

OK, I know the last week of the regular season often bears about as much resemblance to any of the previous 16 as an East End outhouse does to Buckingham Palace (to put the level of some Wk 17 games at pre-season level would be an insult to August as a whole), but what in the wide, wide, world of sports was that which was served up at Buffalo, Carolina, Minnesota, Dallas, Denver, Arizona and the NY Jets?

(I excuse the Rams from that little list as their feeble six-point effort which gave them a grand total of 169 for the SEASON was just par for the course)

The 'real' Colts were nowhere to be seen in the Buffalo blizzard; the Saints were all but invisible in Carolina; the Giants were there in name only against the Vikings; Philadelphia were obviously thinking they don't have to be in Dallas until next week; the Broncos were trampled underfoot by a team with slightly less than nothing to play for; the Cardinals were totally MIA; and the Bengals turned in arguably the most inept display in the whole history of the NFL.

Cincinnati and all their pre-match boasts (how do you say 'Oops!' in Spanish, Ochocinco?) were hollower than a diabetic Kinder Egg, and not nearly as entertaining.

A TOTAL net yardage of 72; a 'passing' display of 4 for 19 for 31 yards (a big, fat ZERO in net terms after the 3 sacks); three turnovers from what passed for the quarterbacks; and a time of possession of less than 19 minutes. Truly, this team was lucky to get the '0' credited to them on the scoreboard, and the most amazing thing is the Jets scored 'only' 37 points with all that possession (limited by yet another anemic QB display of only 63 yards out of a total of 320 net yards).

Ye gods. Now Commissioner Roger Goodell has to fix the final week of the season, as well as the pointless pre-season.

2010-01-02T16:59:00.000-08:00

Arghh! I'm A Loser!

Ross Tucker produces some great 'insider' takes on the NFL for SportsIllustrated.com, getting inside the heads and mind-set of the players from his standpoint as a former player himself.

He can always be relied upon to offer a unique view of the various events and, especially, the advance perspective of various games. Like this week's final week of the regular season.

Tucker has produced a delicious preview of Week 17 and the various ins and outs involved in the playoff/final game scenario, debunking several myths and offering a valuable lesson in player-speak (or coach-speak, as it often stems primarily from the boss man).

The true player meaning of phrases like 'It is what it is' and 'You are what you are' are properly identified and translated for the benefit of all non-players. And it makes for a wonderful extra insight into player-world.

But he also revealed a horrifying truism of successful teams, as claimed by Bill Belichick: Stats are for losers.

Noooooooooo! Say it ain't so? I love stats and believe they provide a vital component of enjoyable NFL-watching. But does that make me a loser, too? Sadly, I think he may be right....

2010-01-02T09:22:00.000-08:00

QBCL Part 13

I'm tempted to say just re-read last week's tale of woe from the Quarterback Challenged League (or the NFL, as some insist on calling it). Again, just two games helped to lift the QBCL into positive numbers. Otherwise, things looked pretty bleak (again). However, fully 8 passers have now topped 4,000 yards for the season and two more could join them tomorrow. If the final figure is 10, the Pro Football Hall of Fame says this busts the 2007 record wide open, which suggests passers are getting better (there were seven 4,000-yard passers in 07, 6 in 08 and 5 in each of 1999, 2004 and 06). But, in reality, that just means we have a truly rare bunch of elite quarterbacks all in their prime in the period from 2004 to the present. Peyton Manning, Brett Favre and Tom Brady have been joined by Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, Tony Romo and Ben Roethlisberger in the genuine top echelon, with Aaron Rodgers and Matt Schaub posting the numbers to show they are knocking on the door, too. But, when you look at the other side of the equation, things tail off quickly. TD passes for the bottom 15 teams of the league are almost an engangered species but INTs are mushrooming. Only three individual QBs have thrown 20+ INTs this term (Jay Cutler, Mark Sanchez and Matt Stafford), but 3 more are only one bad game away (Josh Freeman, Matt Hasselbeck and the sidelined Jake Delhomme) and four teams have combined their miserable QB displays for at least 20 (Tampa Bay, 27; Detroit, 31; St Louis and Buffalo, 21). So, while there is plenty to admire among the current crop of signal-callers, there is more than plenty that makes you go 'Huh??'

43:36
The TD:INT count drops back to near-pedestrian levels for touchdowns but still way too high for interceptions. Then, when you take out the only two decent full-game performances (Denver-Philly and Minnesota-Chicago), you drop right back to 31:33. Pitiful.

+7
The TD:INT ratio; firmly in 'very average' territory again. Our best has been +23 (Wk 11) and the worst just +2 (Wk 14), so this keeps things in the gloomy range. Tom Brady (4:0) and Matt Moore and Matt Ryan (3:0) were the standouts of the week; without those three it's -3. Equally, the two lone 'good' games (step forward Kyle Orton, Donovan McNabb, Brett Favre and Jay Cutler) added +9 to the ratio on their own. Ouch.

2
(The games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD:INT ratio)
And we're right back to our season-low (shared by Wks 7, 12 and 14). Even worse, not ONE game managed to go without an INT for the second time this term.

16
(Teams with a positive TD:INT ratio)
This is another just-above-average figure. Four weeks have done better (totals of 20, 18, 18 and 17 in Wks 13, 11, 2 and 3), 5 have now been in the 14-16 range and 7 have been 10-13. Hardly encouraging.

12
(Multi-pass TD teams)
Ditto for last week. Still absolutely average.

9
(Teams that did NOT produce a passing TD)
After a decent week last week (just 4), we're back up to 'dangerously high' for this figure of QB futility. In fact, only Wk 14 was worse, with 11.

19-8
(Fumbles and fumbles lost by the QBs)
Only three weeks (4, 5 and 6) have produced more fumbles and only three (4, 6 and 11) have lost more of those fumbles. Not encouraging. At all.

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback
From last week's Sinful Seven (Cleveland, Oakland, Detroit, St Louis, Seattle, Buffalo and Chicago), with Miami and the NY Jets 'on report' and Washington flirting with this area once again, Cleveland and Chicago both earned plus points but need to do it for more than one week to escape, and the Dolphins and Jets just about did enough to stay out of the black books. But the Redskins most certainly didn't. Jason Campbell failed to engineer a single point for the sad-sack Skins while adding another dismal INT to his tally. That means we're back to an awful Eight this week.

2009-12-30T04:59:00.000-08:00

Peyton Manning v Kris Jenkins?

Rex Ryan has been a wonderfully quotable figure all season, whether crying, labelling his quarterback a 'knucklehead' or bemoaning the coverage of his New York Jets' controversial win at Indianapolis (controversial if you're a fan of the Colts or fair play for ALL the playoff teams).

But his comments about his team 'deserving' their win over Indy strike the wrong chord with me.

He makes the point, fairly genuinely, that the Jets have been without nose tackle Kris Jenkins for much of the season. But, somehow, he equates this to the Colts pulling all their key offensive starters in the third quarter of Sunday's game.

He fumed: "For half the year, people played against our backup nose tackle. I don’t think anybody’s made note of that. I know this is Peyton Manning or whatever, but he did play two-and-a-half quarters."

Well, yes, the Jets have been playing with a handicap at NT, but their defense has maintained a pretty high level of play all year (with the possible exception of defeats to Miami and New England) so it's hard to say the loss of Jenkins has been a serious drawback.

And yes, the Colts did score just 15 points with Manning on the field. But the Jets' offense had also managed just 3 points with Indy's key men in the game and scored another 12 (plus 7 on defense) as a direct result of the woefully unprepared Curtis Painter being in the game instead of his big-name counterpart.

But to insist that being without a NT - no matter HOW good - is the same as being without Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark AND Joseph Addai is absurd in the extreme.

Or perhaps I have just missed Jenkins throwing 30-plus touchdowns a season in the past?

2009-12-28T18:39:00.000-08:00

NFL Four Levels of Power, Week 16

It's the charge of the Heavy Brigade this week as no less than five teams storm the highest echelon of our unique Four Levels of Power. Which is just as well, as several of the Champions League members are developing a distinct wobble. It's not quite All Change at the top, but New Orleans and Minnesota must be wondering where their teams have gone.

Champions League (the genuine Super Bowl contenders)

Indianapolis (no change): So, Jim Caldwell thinks it's all about keeping any of his star men from getting hurt. That means it could be 21 days before Manning and Co see any serious action again, against a team with a playoff win behind them and nothing to lose; say, Cincinnati. I wonder how another one-and-done post-season will sit with the fans? Talk about creating pressure for yourself...

San Diego (no change): Philip Rivers and Norv Turner are one game away from 19-0. No, not the perfect season but the still-perfect December. But that will now have to wait until next season.

Philadelphia (no change): How did we get here? wonder the Eagles. Getting teams to give you nine penalties (including four first downs) definitely helps.

New England (promoted): That shudder running through half of America was the AFC realizing the Patriots can still put it all together when it matters. This is the team no-one will want to meet in January (or February, come to that).

Dallas (promoted): From a kick returner with fumblitis (3 in just 29 runbacks in his rookie year in 2006) to a stud wideout (5th in yards, 4th in TDs and 3rd in plays of 20+ yards), Miles Austin is fast becoming the next Michael Irvin. Now how's THAT for a playoff filip?

New Orleans (no change): Ditto what I said last week. Only, one wheel is now definitely off this bandwagon and Sean Payton needs to find some nails from somewhere in the next two weeks before the next meaningful game isn't their last of the season.

Arizona (promoted): It's deja vu all over again as here come the 2008 Cardinals. Just check out last year's NFC Least standings and play Spot The Difference if you don't believe me.

Green Bay (promoted): Where has this three-headed running monster been all year? Mind you, a run-out against Arizona will prove more of a test for the Packers' D.

Cincinnati (promoted): Still in ultra-conservative mode, their playoff games aren't going to be pretty. Carson Palmer has topped 240 yards just once since Wk 6. He did it three times before that.

Minnesota (no change): Limping into the playoffs and now with the No. 2 seed in the balance. Losing to teams with nothing to play for is taking on epidemic proportions. Alternatively, just don't put yourself in a 23-6 hole. On the plus side, the Brettmeister still looks to have plenty in the tank this year.

Premier League (The SB 'outsiders')

Baltimore (no change): Nothing wrong with Joe Flacco against the Steelers. Can't say the same for his wideouts or the penalty count. More flags than the 4th of July.

Denver (no change): Time's fast running out on the Broncos (now that they need help to get in the playoffs from 8-4 just three weeks ago), and so is the running game. Normally the heart of this team, it ranks just 15th in yardage and 25TH for touchdowns. Kyle Orton deserves more help than that.

Pittsburgh (promoted): If only their defense had shown up a bit sooner.

Houston (promoted): Another team offering too little, too late and flattering to deceive. How many years can the Texans 'almost' look like a playoff team without a head coaching change?

Tennessee (no change): If the Titans can be judged as a marker against the AFC's top two, it will be Chargers over the Colts by 15 in the Championship game (the difference in the winning margin in their two recent games against Tennessee).

Miami (no change): I guess the Last Chance Saloon had run dry.

NY Jets (promoted): That late Christmas present from Jim Caldwell could at least give us the welcome sight of Rex 'Weepy' Ryan in the playoffs, which has to be worth seeing!

Championship (the teams barely treading water)

Atlanta (no change): No playoff finale for Matt Ryan this season but his learning curve is still on the up and, if injuries are kinder next year, the Falcons will be birds of a very different feather.

Carolina (no change): And they really kept Jake Delhomme throwing with Matt Moore sitting on the bench?

NY Giants (relegated): And they kept Osi Umenyiora off the field for who, exactly?

Chicago (promoted): Hunter Hillenmeyer's stunning Brian Urlacher impersonation and Jay Cutler's refusal to throw a game-killing interception shows Lovie Smith does have the tools at his disposal. Now he has to show he can use them consistently.

San Francisco (no change): If Alex Smith plays a full season at his current rate, he throws for 27 TDs, 18INTs and the 49ers go 10-6. Is that good enough for Mike Singletary?

Jacksonville (no change): How must the Jags feel knowing they got the full 60-minutes' worth of Peyton Manning and Co in Week 15 while playoff rivals the Jets got the free pass this week? You can just smell the hypocrisy.

Tampa Bay (promoted): In three of their last four, Cadillac Williams has rushed for 5.4 yds/carry or better and 287 total yards. A team should be able to build on that (and a winning ratio of 2 out of 3).

Cleveland (promoted): Thank goodness for Jerome Harrison. Otherwise, with Derek Anderson under center and just another 8 completions, they might still be out there even now! Where the Browns go at QB after this is anyone's guess, though (Anderson 74 of 171, or 43.3%; Brady Quinn 136 of 256, or 53.1%). Ugh.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we're now down to just the Not-So-Magnificent Seven)

Oakland (relegated): It couldn't last, of course, but it was fun while it did. And at least Tom Cable has made it clear where JaMarcus Russell stands if Cable stays in charge - and that's a LONG way from whover plays center for the Raiders.

Kansas City (no change): Scott Pioli's season-ending debrief with Todd Haley could be a long one. Do they focus on their pop-gun offense (28th in the league, with 10 games of 16 points or less) or a defense with all the solidity of rice pudding (30th, and with 6 games of 30-plus points conceded, including 3 of 40-plus in their final 5)?

Seattle (no change): Matt Hasselbeck certainly doesn't deserve to bear all the flak for the Seahawks' dismal crawl to the end of the season, but successive games of just 1 TD and 4 INTs is going to catch the headlines.

Washington (no change): They could hire Mike Shanahan, Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden AND Tony Dungy right now and none of them would make a difference to this spineless, listless, hopeless bunch (London Fletcher excepted).

Buffalo (no change): Another quarterback, another major contender for the Quarterback Challenged League.

Detroit (no change): See above.

St Louis (no change): An incredible EIGHT games of just 10 points or less (with one game to go!) show the Rams exactly where they need to focus in the off-season. With just 169 points to date, they are still 63 short of last year's miserable 2-14 effort and 35 away from last year's chief scoring dunces the Bengals (204). In fact, you have to go back to 2006 to find a more feeble offensive output (Oakland, with 168).

2009-12-27T20:43:00.000-08:00

Bye, Bye, NFL Integrity

Indianapolis head coach Jim Caldwell's decision to pull all his key starters out of the game in the third quarter against the New York Jets calls into question any sense of integrity and fair-play in the NFL.

Yes, Caldwell may well have avoided an unnecessary injury to one of his players (even though Peyton Manning has never suffered a serious knock in 191 consecutive starts) but in effectively handing an unearned win to the Jets he sends a sad message to the rest of the league: We don't care about the competitive nature of the NFL.

Yes, he will have everyone fit for their first post-season game in 3 weeks' time (even though they have a first-round bye and there is plenty of evidence to suggest putting your starters on ice leaves you open to being frozen out when it's time to start up again), but there are another five teams all thinking that they are playing their hearts out for nothing.

For, if the undeserving Jets DO scrape into the playoffs (with a QB who has thrown all of four TDs since the bye week in early November, plus 10 interceptions), the Texans, Broncos, Steelers, Dolphins and Jaguars can all rightly say they were not playing on a level playing field, that, while they gave their all and played flat out, the Colts thumbed their nose at them and the league and said 'You don't matter; fair play doesn't matter.'

The Colts could rest every bally one of them next week in a truly meaningless game against Buffalo and no-one would care. If they had been up by 14 or more points against the Jets, no-one would care (because Rex Ryan's men could not have been good enough to overcome that kind of deficit in the final 10 minutes or so). But to give the Jags the full Manning force one week and then withdraw the same level of competitive drive the next is totally midguided.

And the NFL sits back and says nothing. Shame. Good job there are no playoff implications for the game at Buffalo next week so that it is only the five teams that get ripped off by Caldwell's midguided sense of loyalty.

2009-12-26T12:33:00.000-08:00

QBCL Part 12

Two games saved Week 15 from total disaster. Two games. That means 14 games turned up some pretty rancid stats, and another black mark for the Quarterback Challenged League (aka the NFL). The INT total was up to record levels for this year (by some distance - and it was also the highest since the 43 of Wk 13 in 2007), and, while the overall picture was better than last week, that isn't saying much! Add in another 15 fumbles (6 lost), and it's clear the members of the QBCL aren't taking care of the ball all that well. *Sigh*

51:41
The TD:INT count shows our third-highest TD total of the year (52 in Wks 11 and 13), which is a Good Thing. The INT total is something else - easily the worst of the season (35 in Wks 1 and 13 was the previous 'low water mark') and adds up to an incredible 110 in just the past three weeks (or 2.2 per game). This is most assuredly a Bad Thing.

+10
The TD:INT ratio; certainly a big improvement on last week's miserable +2 but it's still only 8 weeks of double-digit difference. This is the joint 6th highest of the season. BUT (and this is the biggest But - no jokes, please), if you take out the two totally exemplary games of Wk 15 (Indianapolis-Jacksonville and Green Bay-Pittsburgh), we are down to -1. That's right, just two games provided a 13:2 count, reducing the other 14 games to 38:39 which would be truly appalling. So the various members of the QBCL owe a big debt of thanks to Peyton Manning, David Garrard, Aaron Rodgers and Ben Roethlisberger.

4
(The games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD:INT ratio)
With a high of 6 and a low of 2, this is slightly above average, and is the fifth week with this number.

16
(Teams with a positive TD:INT ratio)
Again, better than last week (a season-low 11) and the fifth-best of the year, so looking good.

12
(Multi-pass TD teams)
Not so good. This is pretty average (from a season high of 17 and a low of 8).

4
(Teams that did NOT produce a passing TD)
Well, this is also on the positive side of things, equalling the previous 'best' of just 4 in Wk 9 (with only 26 teams in action). For a full 32 teams, this is encouraging.

15-6
(Fumbles and fumbles lost by the QBs)
Pretty low for fumbles, pretty average for fumbles lost (with a high of 13 and low of 3).

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback
From last week's Awful Eight (Cleveland, Oakland, Detroit, St Louis, Seattle, Buffalo, Chicago and Kansas City), with warnings for Miami and the NY Jets, only the Chiefs managed to claw their way clear thanks to a fairly convincing performance from Matt Cassel. The other seven continued to show a fairly dismal array of 'qualities' under center, so our final figure for this week is Seven, which equals the season 'low' of Wks 2 and 9. But I'm being pretty lenient here - the Dolphins and Jets remain 'on report' as Chad Henne (10:12 for the season) and Mark Sanchez (12:20) stunk the place up pretty badly (a combined 2:6 for TDs and INTs this week) in losing causes and, while they remain 'the future' for both teams, neither head coach can afford to see this trend continue in the final two weeks if a major re-evaluation isn't to take place. San Francisco's Alex Smith also owes his team a much better performance than the 1:3 effort at Philadelphia (and if he doesn't produce at home to Detroit this will raise major TNSQ alarm bells!) while Jason Campbell STILL doesn't look like much of an answer in Washington.

The bottom line is that only four teams can realistically say they have lost their No 1 QB to injury this year (Buffalo, Detroit, Cleveland and Miami), and only Miami can honestly say they probably wouldn't have had any doubts if their main man had stayed healthy.

When you break things down even further into the different 'categories' of QB, it isn't terribly encouraging either. There are the 9-man Elite group (both Mannings, Drew Brees, Tom Brady, Kurt Warner, Philip Rivers, Donovan McNabb, Ben Roethlisberger and Brett Favre); the 6 Young Hopefuls, all of whom have taken a step forward this year but need to keep pressing (Tony Romo, Matt Ryan, Vince Young, Matt Schaub, Joe Flacco and Aaron Rodgers); the 3 Old Reliables, who can keep a team in the game but don't necessarily win it (David Garrard, Kyle Orton, Carson Palmer); the 7 Question Marks, where a team might have Their Man but certainly can't be sure just yet (Matt Stafford, Mark Sanchez, Matt Cassel, Chad Henne, Alex Smith, Josh Freeman and, just possibly, Matt Moore); but then the final 7 in the OhDearWhatDoWeDoNow? category, where teams just HAVE to do something but don't seem to have much clue (pending the next Draft), and that's Buffalo, Cleveland, St Louis, Oakland, Chicago, Seattle and Washington. So, 14 teams who are distinctly Unsettled at Quarterback. How many ways can you spell disappointing?

2009-12-26T08:26:00.000-08:00

NFL Four Levels of Power, Week 15

Breaking through (finally) into the genuine Champions League ranks are Philly and, and, anyone? Well, no-one else STILL seems to want to attain that lofty height. We now have five teams that seem genuine playoff material (and more), but question marks are still more plentiful than proven quality elsewhere. Which leaves us with the following rankings for our weekly, and unique, Four Levels of Power:

Champions League (the genuine Super Bowl contenders)

Indianapolis (no change): The only way the Colts don't reach at least the AFC Championship game now is if Peyton Manning comes out of cold storage in January with more ice on him than Frosty the Snowman.

San Diego (no change): Mr December, aka Philip Rivers, shows no sign of slowing down anytime soon. Do we just need to declare the AFC Championship game ready now?

New Orleans (no change): The Saints' high-wire act had to have a let-down at some stage. Luckily they fell into the safety net of another Vikings loss, so that precious No 1 seed is still secure.

Philadelphia (promoted): Could they really be just two games away from the NFC's No 2 seed? This seems unimaginable territory for a team that dropped to 3-2 after a Week 6 loss at Oakland. But it's definitely now between them and the Vikes, and the latter certainly seem to have a few 'issues,' to put it mildly.

Minnesota (no change): Brett Favre, first 11 games, 24 TDs, 3 INTs, 22 sacks. Last 3 games: 3 TDs, 4 INTs and 9 sacks. Last 5 games of 2008: 2 TDs, 9 INTs, 9 sacks; last 5 of 2007: 6 TDs, 7 INTs, 1 sack; last 5 of 2006: 4 TDs, 8 INTs, 7 sacks; last 5 of 2005: 1 TD, 10 INTs, 10 sacks. Last time he threw more TDs than INTs in the final 5 games of the regular season? 2004. Time to show there is still some life left in that arm.

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

Baltimore (no change): The latest team to butt heads against that glass ceiling. Can they break through? Joe Flacco now seems armed and dangerous but can he pass the Steeler test?

New England (no change): Tom Brady's worst passing outing since December 10, 2006 (a 21-0 defeat at Miami) was offset by the penalty-happy Bills and the slowly burgeoning running game. The lack of anything resembling a challenge from the rest of the AFC East also means the Pats can concentrate on putting their playoff house in order.

Dallas (no change): So there IS still (football) gold in them thar hills. And they CAN mine it when the need drives them. But is this the Real Deal or just Fool's Gold?

Arizona (no change): When it needs a 14-point final quarter to see off the likes of Detroit, you know there is still something rotten in the state of Denmark (or Phoenix, in this case). Ken Whisenhunt must find out if it goes to the core or is just a surface malaise.

Green Bay (no change): Aaron Rodgers has a career day but it just turns out Ben Roethlisberger is more career on the day. Meanwhile, the Packers 'D' careers off a cliff.

Cincinnati (no change): The Bengals are still not seeing red; a proper red zone offense, that is (four trips into the RZ at San Diego - 1 TD in a 27-24 loss).

NY Giants (no change): That practice scrimmage stroll in Washington is no real test for this week's visit of Carolina, but they might be able to take advantage of another team with nothing to play for.

Tennessee (no change): If they could somehow finagle their way into the playoffs, the Johnson train would be a mighty hard one to stop.

Miami (no change): Back to the Last Chance Saloon, guys. Drink deeply, now...

Denver (no change): What? They lost to Oakland? And their fourth-choice QB JaMarcus Russell? All together now: Bwahahahahahahah!! PS: The Raiders elected to start 3rd choice Charlie Frye ahead of Russell, which means that the former No 1 pick MUST be 4th string, hey?

Championship (the teams barely treading water)

Pittsburgh (no change): Ladies and gentlemen, the Steelers 'D' has now left the building.

Atlanta (no change): Gutsy team, gutsy coach, gutsy quarterback. There may be no immediate playoff future for the Dirty Birds but the long-term is still promising.

Houston (no change): The Texans were just one Kevin Walter drop from losing this 13-9. Still think their season is alive?

Carolina (no change): Holding Adrian Peterson to just 35 yards might have looked impressive if the Cardinals hadn't restricted him to 19 two weeks earlier (and the 'All-Day' running back hadn't managed just three 100-yard games this term).

NY Jets (no change): Well, how are they feeling about the Sanchize in New Jersey this week? Is it just me, or are things looking pretty ugly in Ryanville?

Jacksonville (relegated): Realistically, they were in the Last Chance Saloon last week and came up empty. Their offense put up 31 points, but it WAS against the Colts' second-string 'D' and the Jaguars own 'D' couldn't stop anyone when push came to shove (and they were pretty badly shoved around, as Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark helped themselves to 227 yards at 19 yards per catch).

San Francisco (no change): Even given three Philly turnovers (two McNabb INTs and a ridiculous Eagles failure on 4th and 1 from their own 29 at just 7-3 ahead), the 49ers couldn't salvage their faint playoff hopes. Back to the drawing board all round for Mike Singletary.

Oakland (promoted): OK, it's probably only for one week, but that last-minute touchdown miracle from Russell to Curt Schilens is worthy of promotion, if only for the extra embarrassment it heaped on the Broncos.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we're now up to a Less-Than-Fine Nine)

Cleveland (no change): I really thought of promoting the Browns after two successive wins, even though this was only a one-score squeaker over the Griefs. But then I looked again at the Box Score, and this jumps out at me: 10 of 17 for 66 yards. Step forward Brady Quinn and revel in a day of 5 TDs for your team, of which you contributed a total of 6.6 yards per completion and 2 INTs (0 TDs, by the way).

Chicago (relegated): It's now an official QB epidemic in Chicago. They tried two in the defeat at Baltimore and Cutler and Hanie combined to go 12 of 32 for 102 yards, 0 TDs and 4 INTs. Kind of makes you nostalgic for Rex Grossman, doesn't it?

Buffalo (relegated): Keeping the current Patriots team close is no statement of achievement these days (although it's still a rare day when Ryan Fitzpatrick out-duels Tom Brady. Ouch).

Tampa Bay (no change): Bucs' fans singing to Seattle - "Can we play you every week?"

Seattle (relegated): Now in disintegration mode.

Washington (relegated): If I could drop them into a fifth level after that abomination of an effort at home to the Giants, I would. Utterly turgid, listless and (almost) pointless.

Kansas City (no change): Jamaal Charles has a career day (25 rushes, 154 yards and a TD) and is barely a footnote in a game that saw the Griefs 'special' teams be anything but, their defense give up 351 yards on the ground, Matt Cassel top 300 yards passing for the first time in his Kansas career - and the offense fail to match an opposition QB who managed just 66 yards and 2 INTs.

Detroit (no change): Isn't it the end of the season YET?

St Louis (no change): Well, Keith Null did throw only one INT...

2009-12-20T20:00:00.000-08:00

QBCL Part 11

Week 14 was less than edifying if you like good quarterback play, hence the Quarterback Challenged League (or the NFL, as some call it) hit something of a low in this miserable outing. After two weeks in the past 3 of 50-plus TDs, we dropped to a season-low (for 16 games) and witnessed some truly appalling 'quarterbacks' in action (Kansas City, St Louis and Tampa Bay being the chief culprits, contributing a mind-boggling 1:12 to our weekly TD:INT ratio). Hard to believe we were watching pro teams at times, but I guess the UFL will have been keeping a keen eye out for new 'talent.'

In this case, the stats certainly don't lie....

36:34
The TD:INT count shows a new low for TDs in a full 16-game schedule (39 was the previous 'low'), while 34 INTs is only one off the highest we've seen this year. We have now had either 34 or 35 INTs 5 times in Wks 1-14, but three in the past 6. Yes, there are more back-ups playing recently, but the general standard should be getting better by now as defenses also have injury problems, too. And it isn't. At all.

+2
The TD:INT ratio; simply the worst of the season. We had a paltry +4 in Wk 10 and +5 in Wk 6, but this is almost scary.

2
(The games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD:INT ratio)
Equaling the previous low, in Wk 12. Two out of three, huh? Distinctly underwhelming.

11
(Teams with a positive TD:INT ratio)
Only one week produced a worse figure than this (10 in Wk 9) but there were only 13 games then. So, of 32 teams, barely a third were solid enough at QB to creep into the positive (and only 4 of them by more than 1). After the season high of 20 last week, this is positively pitiful.

11
(Multi-pass TD teams)
Well, we had just 8 in Wk 8. But that was with just 13 games. For all 32 teams to be in action, this was second only to Wk 1's 9. Another sickly stat.

11
(Teams that did NOT produce a passing TD)
Whoa! This is another season's 'worst', and then some. We'd had 9 several times (Wks 3 and 6) but for a third of the teams to fail to record a passing TD is almost beyond belief. The 'Hall of Shame' in this instance reads: Cleveland, Detroit, Miami, Kansas City, Jacksonville, NY Jets, Tampa Bay, Oakland (no real surprises there) and (surprisingly) Pittsburgh, Arizona and Green Bay. These 11 were also 0:11 for TDs to INTs. How many ways can you spell horrendous?

10-4
(Fumbles and fumbles lost by the QBs)
These are both in the (very) low end of the scale - only only one week (Wk 2) produced fewer fumbles lost (3) so a moment of relief for the QBCL.

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback
Last week, we tabbed a Nondescript Nine (Cleveland, Oakland, Detroit, St Louis, Seattle, Washington, Buffalo, Chicago and Carolina) with warnings for Atlanta, Kansas City and Baltimore. Both Washington and Carolina chalked up a second straight week of positive quarterbacking, so that reduces our 'Sad Sacks' to seven. But the Chiefs charged straight into our category here with an 0:4 outing from Matt Cassel, taking us back to Eight. Miami and the Jets are also showing signs of sliding down into our TNSQ level, so the chances of being back in double figures next week (as we were in Wks 5 through 8) remain high. *Sigh!*

2009-12-18T08:28:00.000-08:00

NFL Four Levels of Power, Week 14

The ‘glass ceiling’ in our Four Levels of Power, the unique Brit Pick power rankings, continues to keep the pretenders at bay and our Champions League members in rarefied air (with one dropping out this week). We have yet to see any of the Premier level REALLY mount a consistent challenge (although Philly and Green Bay are close), and time is fast running out. Who will the final eight for the Super Bowl dance be…………?

Champions League (the genuine Super Bowl contenders)

Indianapolis (no change): Even when Peyton Manning is bad, he’s still good. Three INTs? Bah, humbug!

New Orleans (no change): Flying by the seat of their pants once too often drops the Saints off top spot for me. Yes, they pulled out another squeaker, but they gave up 23 points to the Falcons’ second team (no Matt Ryan or Michael Turner) and, defensively, looked mighty rocky doing it. This is the way you lose playoff games against good teams.

Minnesota (no change): The return of Adrian Peterson to points-scoring prominence is not good news for the chasing pack (or the chasing Pack).

San Diego (no change): Oh, what would Dallas give for just one of the Chargers’ 16 straight December wins at the moment?

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

Philadelphia (no change): Yes, yes, they put up a shedload of points and DeSean Jackson is the fastest thing since Bo, but did you notice how that defense looked leakier than a colander with dry rot? Tackling hasn’t been outlawed by the way, Eagles secondary, neither will you contract H1N1 if you go near anyone. So let’s see if the message gets through against San Francisco this week.

Green Bay (no change): The distinct beginnings of a ‘wagon here. If Ryan Grant stays at the wheel, the Packers will be nobody’s playoff patsies. Now, it’s time to break through that glass ceiling with a signature win against Pittsburgh.

Cincinnati (relegated): You see what happens when you put your offense in passive mode for 6 successive weeks? Suddenly, Carson Palmer doesn’t know if he’s Arthur or Martha and plays more like Patsy Palmer.

Baltimore (no change): Raise your game, they said, and John Harbaugh misheard. Thought they said Ray. Good thing, too. Rice is a one-man offensive crew right now. PS: Joe Flacco, another week with less than 27 pass attempts, and another W (that's 5-0 when that happens).

New England (no change): Forget Manning or Brees, Wes Welker is this season’s MVP if the Pats scramble into the post-season. No other wideout is more dependable, durable, dedicated or other things beginning with D. Even when others break records (Jackson, Marshall, Johnson, etc), Welker guarantees only one thing – the most important thing, another ‘W’.

Arizona (no change): See. This is why I didn’t put them any higher last week. For every big stride forward (against Minnesota) they are perfectly capable of stumbling (or fumbling) right back.

Denver (no change): If the D plays the whole game like they did the middle two quarters at Indy, their late-season meltdown of ’09 will quickly fade from memory.

Miami (no change): Chad Henne won’t be confused with Dan Marino any time soon but he does seem to have a happy knack of winning the close games. Could he just be a lucky omen?

Dallas (no change): Despite all the angst and aggro, Wade Phillips is still on the cusp of post-season profitability. Now, if he can just persuade his team this December thing is a myth…

Tennessee (no change): Chris Johnson – first 5 games, 468 yds (ave 93.6) and 2 TDs, plus 126 yds receiving and 1 more TD; last 8, 1158 yds (ave 144.7) and 9 TDs, plus 265 yds receiving and 1 TD. Cue more cries of ‘If only, if only………!’ from the Titans’ faithful.

Jacksonville (no change): Win one, lose one, win one, lose one. Must be time for a win again. Or, to put it another way, another loss and it’s Hello Championship.

NY Giants (no change): One defeat, it’s the offense who couldn’t hit a cow’s backside with a banjo, the next, it’s the defense who couldn’t stop a pig in a passageway. How does Tom Coughlin sleep at night? Time to call in Old McDonald, perhaps!

Championship (the teams just treading water)

NY Jets (no change): Beating the hapless Bucs, and their ever-expanding train-wreck at quarterback, proves nothing. The Jets’ bid to prove real playoff worthiness starts now.

Pittsburgh (relegated): A head-shaker for the ages. Mike Tomlin, your work starts, now.

San Francisco (no change): How those three close defeats to Houston, Tennessee and Seattle hurt, now.

Houston (no change): Oh how those FOUR close defeats to Jacksonville and Indianapolis hurt, now.

Atlanta (no change): Falcons medical staff, your work starts now.

Buffalo (no change): Um, well it WAS a win but, without Fred Jackson, this was a sub-200yd offensive performance. Alex Van Pelt, your ability to create quarterback bricks put of straw begins now.

Chicago (no change): The Bears after 14 weeks in 2009 (with Jay Cutler): 5-8, 247 pts for, 291 against. The Bears after 14 weeks in 2008 (without Jay Cutler), 7-6, 304-278. Lovie Smith, the bid to protect your job starts now.

Washington (promoted): Could this be true? Could the Skins finally be on the up? After three weeks of ‘So near….’ A possible bright finish to the season looms, now.

Carolina (no change): They hung around until the fourth quarter at New England but, for the life of me, I can’t work out if they played well or the Patriots were truly awful. Brit Pick, your time to make up your mind starts now.

Seattle (no change): Tim Ruskell, your challenge to completely turn around this franchise begins now.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we're left with the Truly Sorry Six)

Oakland (no change): After 25 starts, the Raiders have finally seen sense and given up on JaMarcus Russell. But Charlie Frye?

Cleveland (no change): No-one, and I mean no-one, saw THAT coming, least of all the whole of Pittsburgh.

Kansas City (no change): Chris Johnson, Ray Rice, DeAngelo Williams, Pierre Thomas and Jamaal Charles. The current top five starting RBs on yds per attempt (6, 5.4, 5.3, 5.3 and 5.2). The Chiefs’ hope for 2010.

Tampa Bay (no change): Just 15 passing TDs and 24 INTs, well below 6yds per attempt and 29 sacks (with 18 fumbles). I wonder where the Bucs’ main problems lie?

Detroit (no change): If ever a team was ready for the end of the season, this is it.

St Louis (no change): They really do know how to pick ‘em in St Louis. Three QBs, 9 TDs and 17 INTs, including 5 from their latest ‘starter.’ I wonder what they will be looking for in the Draft?

2009-12-13T16:25:00.000-08:00

QBCL Part 10

After nine games of Week 13, things were looking pretty bleak for the Quarterback Challenged League (aka the NFL), with just 19 TDS and an outrageous 24 INTs. The final seven games more than restored the balance, though, going a stellar 33-11 to make for a more than decent week in all.

So, is this a sign of a strong comeback from our signal-callers or just a true Jekyll and Hyde week? Let's see how the stats view it:

52:35
The TD:INT count equals the previous best (Wk 11) but the INT count is six worse than the same week and is not good at all; in fact, it also equals the highest of the season (Wk 1).

+17
The TD:INT ratio; healthy overall, but it owed a LOT to the sequence of games 10-15 (Oakland-Pittsburgh, New Orleans-Washington, San Diego-Cleveland, Dallas-Giants, San Francisco-Seattle and Minnesota-Arizona) which went an amazing combined 29-6. The other 10 - 23:29, or -6. Ouch

6
(The games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD:INT ratio)
The best of the year so far, beating the 5 in Wks 4 and 11. Hugely positive.

20
(Teams with a positive TD:INT ratio)
Another season high (beating the 18 of Wks 2 snd 11). Impossible to argue with (except that the 10 teams - Buffalo, Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Carolina, St Louis, Detroit, Cincinnati, Houston, Kansas City and Baltimore - with a negative ratio combined to go 5:22!).

19
(Multi-pass TD teams)
Is this a trend - another 'best' for 2009, ahead of the 17 in Wk 2.

5
(Teams that did NOT produce a passing TD)
OK, Wk 9 had just 4 teams who couldn't pass the ball into the end zone, and Wk 4 also had 5, but that was with 13 and 14 games respectively. Just 5 in 16 full games is highly respectable.

17-6
(Fumbles and fumbles lost by the QBs)
Those figures are both within acceptable levels this term (current highs are 24 and 13, as against lows of 12 and 3).

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback
We had a Nondescript Nine last week (Cleveland, Oakland, Detroit, St Louis, Seattle, Washington, Buffalo, Chicago and Carolina) and there were signs of improvement from all of Cleveland, Oakland, Seattle, Washington and Chicago. But, with as bad as they have been, it needs more than a one-off to get out of this particular doghouse, so we stay at Nine this week. Let's see if they can put together consistent efforts. Atlanta and Kansas City are going rapidly into reverse though, and Baltimore chalked up another QB negative (1:3). The Falcons have an excuse with Matt Ryan out but Joe Flacco is showing distinct signs of a sophomore slump. What price 10 (or more) next week?

2009-12-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

NFL Four Levels of Power, Week 13

Our Dynamic Duo sail serenely on (well, kind of; if you define 'serene' as playing your Get Out Of Jail Free card). Meanwhile, the bunch get, well, bunchier. And that all leaves us with the following picture in our unique Four Levels of Power...

Champions League (the genuine Super Bowl contenders)

New Orleans (no change): Has Fate already decreed the NFL's first Super Bowl between unbeatens? That can be the ONLY explanation for the Saints escaping a capital city mugging. Oh, OK, they also played pretty well in come-fron-behind mode (yet again), but a 400-yard outing from Drew Brees is only par for the course these days.

Indianapolis (no change): It will soon be Curtis Painter time. Are you excited?

San Diego (no change): Seven TDs + Zero INTs in the last four games = a major Super Bowl bandwagon. If that 0 figure holds true at Dallas this week that 'wagon may become unstoppable.

Cincinnati (no change): At some point, Marv Lewis will let his offense off the leash. Won't he?

Minnesota (no change): Not so much a major setback as an alarm call for Brett Favre and Co. Just shows, for all the TD passes, a solid running game is still vital.

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

Arizona (no change): Did we just get a review of the last post-season? Saints and Vikes take special notice.

Green Bay (no change): A playoff place looks in the bag. Now, if they can just avoid those Viking cats...

Philadelphia (no change): The Eagles' season now stands or falls on their two remaining division match-ups. Win both of those and this becomes another matter of momentum with the word 'wagon' tacked on.

Denver (promoted): A real blast from the past as the Broncos return to the running game of Terrell Davis, Clinton Portis and others. This suddenly looks a palatable playoff recipe if they can minimize Kyle Orton's need to throw the ball.

Giants (no change): OK, I give up. This could be a playoff team or it could be a complete bust. You never know which of the two Giants teams will turn up on any given week and it must be taking months off Tom Coughlin's life trying to figure it out.

New England (no change): These are not your Daddy's Patriots (unless your Daddy was watching when they got monstered by the Bears in 86).

Dallas (no change): It's just too easy, isn't it? It's December so it must be time for the Dallas swoon.

Pittsburgh (no change): Time to call the medics. The Steelers Fourthquarteritis is now approaching epidemic proportions.

Baltimore (no change): I took time out from the Pass Interference-fest at Green Bay to check on Joe Flacco's stats and here's what I found. When he limits his passes to 26 or less, the Ravens are 4-0; when he has 27 or more, they are 3-6. Simple equation, huh?

Miami (promoted): OK, they lose to the Bills but beat the Pats. How is anyone supposed to make sense of that? Come in Tom Coughlin...

Jacksonville (promoted): Back in Weeks 3 and 4, the Jags put 68 points combined on the Titans and Texans. And you are left thinking: How?

Tennessee (no change): They outgained the Colts 375 yards to 358, so, to my mind, this is still a team moving in the right direction.

Championship (the teams just treading water)

NY Jets (no change): Let me get this straight. The Jets call in a baseball specialist to teach Mark Sanchez to slide, and Sanchez then gets injured, because he forgets to slide. And they have Kellen Clemens as the back-up. I wonder if Rex Ryan called him more than 'knucklehead' in private?

Chicago (no change): Only Washington scored less points against the Rams than the Bears in their 17-9 snoozefest. Back to the drawing board on offense, methinks.

Atlanta (relegated): This team is good enough to shake off the loss of either Michael Turner or Matt Ryan but not both. And certainly not against Philly. That's a triple whammy, by the way.

San Francisco (relegated): Game over, season over. Losing to the woeful Seahawks will do that for you.

Houston (no change): The Last Chance Saloon came up dry for the Texans at Jacksonville. But neither team looked like post-season material to be brutally honest.

Carolina (no change): They were handed FIVE interceptions and STILL scored just 16 points? Ye gods.

Seattle (promoted): Two wins in a row? Take a seat in the next level.

Buffalo (no change): As if to prove that 24-point fourth quarter really was a mirage, here comes a feeble 194-yard performance at home to the Jets.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we're still at a Sickly Seven)

Oakland (no change): Did they steal the Bills' mojo from last week? A 21-point fourth quarter explosion and suddenly the Steelers are on life-support. But if Bruce Gradkowski ever does THAT again I'll eat my titfer.

Washington (no change): Heartbreak, thy name is Shaun Suisham.

Kansas City (relegated): I know I've said it before but Matt Cassell is suddenly looking more problem than solution. A 14.6 passer rating is truly sick (to use the proper meaning of the word).
Tampa Bay (no change): Josh Freeman's brief honeymoon is now emphatically over after a five-INT performance. That's 10 in 5 games to more than offset his 7 TDs. Another back-to-the-drawing-board moment?

Detroit (no change): Call the animal cruelty brigade. There's a Lion here taking WAY to much punishment. Time to give Matt Stafford a rest.

St Louis (no change): Let's see. Marc Bulger's a bust, Kyle Boller's a back-up at best. Anyone else fancy a tryout at QB in Ramsville?

Cleveland (no change): The Draft QB-watch starts now.

2009-12-13T09:22:00.000-08:00

On The Right Mark

Hard to argue with the Heisman Trophy award for Alabama's Mark Ingram. The closeness of the voting (Ingram, Toby Gerhart, Colt McCoy, Ndamukong Suh) showed just what a tight and tough decision it was this year, and all four had great credentials.

Ingram has conducted himself with enormous aplomb this year, and his faltering acceptance speech was a mark of the kid's heart and soul. Suh also was a tremendous credit to the Nebraska program while Gerhart's generous comments about Ingram also marked him out as a young man of considerable character.

Ultimately (and to resort to a sporting cliche!), there were no losers at this year's awards ceremony, and a review of Selena Roberts' excellent feature on Ingram (Sports Illustrated, Nov 30) serves to underline just how well the son of the former New York Giant has done this year.

So, while Suh while probably make the biggest immediate impact (in every sense) on the NFL, Ingram can also look ahead to a bright future if he continues to keep his life in perspective and learn the tough life lessons that have come his way.

2009-12-05T19:05:00.000-08:00

QBCL Part 9

After giving it three weeks to buck its ideas up, I thought I would revisit the denizens of the Quarterback Challenged League (otherwise known as the NFL) to see if much had changed after the sorry state we last saw it in (i.e. the highest num ber of INTs/game of the season in Week 9).

But sorry to relate, Week 10 was even worse, Week 11 showed a BIG improvement, and Week 12 fell back again. The bottom line - it's still not a good time to be a quarterback, unless your name is Manning, P; Favre; Brady; Brees; Rivers; or Rodgers.

Here's how the actual stats stack up:

Wk 10 - 36:32 (15 games)
Wk 11 - 52:29 (16 games)
Wk 12 - 41:31 (16 games)
The TD:INT count - the TD numbers hit the 2nd lowest of the season (behind only Wk 8's 31), then bounced up to the HIGHEST (surpassing Wk 2's 48); then reverted to mediocrity with the 2nd lowest TD total for a full 16 games. The INT totals have improved over Wk 9. But they are still pretty consistently and depressingly high.

Wk 10 - +4
Wk 11 - +23
Wk 12 - +10
The TD:INT ratio; we hit rock bottom in Wk 10, then the BEST ratio of the season, only to drop back to increasingly ordinary levels again.

The games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD:INT ratio -
Wk 10 - 4
Wk 11 - 5
Wk 12 - 2
Getting 4 and 5 games respectively is, actually, pretty decent. But then Wk 12 drops off a cliff. Horrendous.

Teams with a positive TD:INT ratio
Wk 10 - 13
Wk 11 - 18
Wk 12 - 13
Only 13 for a 15- and 16-game line-up is pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel. The 18 teams equals the previous high, though (Wk 2).

Multi-pass TD teams
Wk 10 - 11
Wk 11 - 14
Wk 12 - 11
11 is pretty feeble for either a 15- or 16-game sked; 14 is still only average. And, when you consider Green Bay, Minnesota and New Orleans on their own contributed 11:0 to our stats in Wk 12, that TD:INT figure for the week suddenly drops back to 30:31 otherwise. Uglier and uglier.

Teams that did NOT produce a passing TD
Wk 10 - 8
Wk 11- 6
Wk 12 - 8
Only Wks 3 and 6 produced more blanks (9), hence we are still in 'gord blimey' territory here. That figure had reduced to just 4 in Wk 9.

Fumbles and fumbles lost by the QBs
Wk 10 - 16-4
Wk 11 - 19-10
Wk 12 - 12-8
10 fumbles lost represents the second-highest of the season (13 in Wk 4) and take some of the gloss off the 52:29 TD:INT figure, while the 8 in Wk 12 also gives us a turnover total of 39, the 3rd highest of the season (44 in Wk 6 and 42 in Wk 1)

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback
The Usual Suspects of Cleveland, Oakland, Detroit, St Louis, Seattle, Washington, Buffalo, Chicago and Carolina give us an obvious Nondescript Nine, up from 7 the last time we checked but still below the season high of 12 (Wk 6). BUT, Miami and the NY Jets are starting to look worried again (3 TDs and 9 INTs between them in the past two weeks), Tampa Bay can't be sure yet about Josh Freeman and both Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco seem to be going backwards with Atlanta and Baltimore. And who knows what Eli Manning will turn up for the Giants these days? Those who CAN be happy are Indy, Green Bay, Denver, Houston, Cincinnati, Philly, San Diego, Minnesota, Arizona (if Kurt Warner is fit to play), New Orleans, Pittsburgh, New England and the revitalized Tennessee. That still leaves Dallas, Kansas City, Jacksonville and San Francisco wondering if Their Man is still good for the long-term (and this weekend's games may well go a long way towards deciding that picture). That means 13 teams who ARE firmly set, and 4 more who MAY be. Not terribly edifying for the QBCL, is it?

2009-12-04T06:46:00.000-08:00

NFL Four Levels of Power, Week 12

It is now pretty clear there are the merest handful of teams that are Very Good and a fair bunch who are Absolutely Awful. Then there is everyone else in the middle. And there is plenty of scope for that bulging number in between to become either this year’s Arizona Cardinals – or Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

So, where does that leave the increasingly confused Four Levels of Power...

Champions League (the genuine Super Bowl contenders)

New Orleans (no change): Oh come on, surely there is no doubt for now (until they lose to someone like Washington) over who is No 1? They not only passed the Litmus Test, but the Olympic Trials, the Gut Check, the Balancing Act and any other kind of test or trial you care to name.

Indianapolis (no change): In juries? Check. Lack of running game? Check. Opponents with the lead? Check. OK, must be time for another Colts win, then.

Minnesota (no change): OK, now this is officially getting Far Too Silly. Brett Favre has about 30 receivers to throw to, 20 options on the ground, an O-line that would give the Berlin Wall a good run for its money and a defense that regularly gets him the ball back. Only an injury to that 40-year-old body can now derail this express train to the playoffs.

San Diego (no change): It will be interesting to see if the running game can REALLY carry the load when a defense puts the squeeze on Philip Rivers.

Cincinnati (no change): Conservativism, thy name is Marv Lewis.

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

New England (relegated): That look of disbelief from Bill Belichick on Monday night was from seeing his team completely undressed in front of the TV nation. Not a pretty sight, either one.

Dallas (no change): I can’t believe the ‘Boys can really be this high, knocking on the door of the Champions League. But look around and see who might be giving them a run for their (considerable) money and the answer is not many, Benny. But, for three quarters, they let the godawful Raiders hang around, with Oakland doing their full Keystone Cops impression, so they could just as easily drop out of sight as jump up to the next level.

Green Bay (no change): All of a sudden, the Packers are looking around and thinking ‘If we can avoid the Vikings, this playoff lark might be a doddle.’

Philadelphia (no change): Another team who played their Get Out Of Jail Free card last week. Luckily they were playing one of the Conference teams who can be guaranteed to shoot themselves in at least one foot before the end of 60 minutes these days.

Arizona (no change): Luckily, they are still in the NFC Least.

Pittsburgh (no change): Without Big Ben and Chris Kemoeatu, they still had the beating of Baltimore, until Dennis Dixon’s lone mistake of the night.

Baltimore (no change): The Steelers proved if you can minimize Ray Rice’s impact, these Ravens will struggle to score. Joe Flacco isn’t the answer just yet.

Denver (promoted): This year’s yo-yo team, their shaky psyche got a boost from the Jekyll & Hyde Giants. Now they need to show they can win a game without any help from the opposition.

Giants (no change): This is a team that looks like it is running in quicksand (pretty much like Brandon Jacobs).

Atlanta (no change): Phew! Just in time – a win over one of the Sickly Seven. Just enough to keep the Falcons afloat on the NFL’s current sea of mediocrity.

Tennessee (promoted): Vince Young, that was a 99-yard drive for the ages. And that six game ‘false start’ to the season is starting to look more and more like a ball-and-chain around the Titans’ ankles.

San Francisco (promoted): The Spirit of Singletary lives on. But now they face their acid test at Seattle, a team they should beat handsomely if they are be taken seriously.

Championship (the teams just treading water)

Miami (relegated): That fourth-quarter meltdown at Buffalo could look awfully painful come the playoff picture.

Jacksonville (relegated): Two trips to the West Coast, just 3 points scored and 61 conceded. Fortunately, their travel plans don’t call for any more time zone changes.

Houston (no change): You get the feeling Matt Schaub will either explode for 5 TDs and a massive Texans win against Jacksonville this week, or implode and take Gary Kubiak with him.

NY Jets (promoted): Mark Sanchez still isn’t ready for his close-up yet, but get Thomas Jones and the ‘D’ cranked up and good things can still happen in the wacky world of Rex Ryan.

Chicago (no change): The Bears defense isn’t coming out again until they know Brett Favre is a long, long way away.

Carolina (no change): Remember Good Rex and Bad Rex? Well the Panthers have Bad Jake, and Even Worse Jake.

Buffalo (promoted): Where did THAT quarter come from?

Kansas City (no change): Perhaps the Chargers really are that good, but the Chiefs need to see a bit more from Matt Cassel if they are to avoid being dragged back down into the Conference.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we're down to a Sickly Seven)

Seattle (no change): A quick reminder for those newly-arrived in the Bargain Basement - a win over a fellow Conference denizen counts for little.

Washington (no change): What that defense would give to have Jason Campbell on the OTHER side.

Tampa Bay (no change): A brave rearguard battle deserved better than that fourth down heart-breaker against Atlanta, but some of Raheem Morris’ play-calling was a little, ahem, unconventional.

Oakland (no change): I take it all back. That was a very unfair reference to the Keystone Cops. The Cops would have been MUCH better organized against the Cowboys. And Cincinnati are now thinking – we lost to Bruce Gradkowski??

Detroit (no change): After several encouraging moments in recent weeks, it still looks like a long, LONG haul back to respectability for the Lions.

St Louis (no change): Isn’t it next season YET?

Cleveland (no change): Well, they DID score a touchdown…...

2009-11-26T09:59:00.000-08:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 11

The Big Two (actually, it is really three with the amazing Brett Favre-fuelled Vikings) keep on rolling, and the Patriots are battling gamely to keep up. Otherwise, it is an out and out nail-and-tooth battle for The Rest, with no-one establishing any long-term credibility, and even the Conference also-rans showing some signs of life. San Diego look to have the most momentum, but if anyone can make sense of the truly bizarre NFC East, they are a better man than I, Gunga Din.

However, we can make SOME sense of it, hence our unique Four Levels of Power NFL rankings.

Champions League (the genuine Super Bowl contenders)

New Orleans (no change): OK, now it's litmus-test time against the Patriots and we'll see what this team is REALLY made of.

Indianapolis (no change): At some stage, the Colts' high-wire act is going to take a tumble, but it makes for mighty impressive viewing!

Minnesota (no change): Did I see that right; 22 of 25, and now 21-3 for TDs and INTs? At what point did Brett Favre turn into a pin-point, ultra-protective ball-hawk?

New England (no change): Wes Welker, 203 total yards, NY Jets 226. Might be a bit harder for the Pats this week.

San Diego (promoted): The only question is, have the Chargers peaked too soon?

Cincinnati (no change): Careless, careless, careless. My crystal ball says any more of this and there is only relegation in your future. PS: Just watching Oakland at Dallas - and the Bengals lost to Bruce Gradkowski?? How - did the defense all leave the field?

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

Arizona (no change): Now it's conclusive. With Kurt Warner = Genuine Playoff Contenders; Without = Forget It.

Pittsburgh (relegated): Another team to fall victim to an unexpected AFC West ambush. Big wake-up call for Big Ben.

Dallas (no change): When does a win look like a loss? When the 'Boys struggle to beat a woeful Redskins with the only TD of the game four minutes from the end.

Philadelphia (no change): You see what happens when you achieve that mythical thing called 'balance' in your play-calling?

Green Bay (promoted): Making a late run in the season's MVP race, here comes Aaron Rodgers!

Giants (promoted): Welcome back, Manning, E., your team has badly missed you.

Miami (promoted): In this season's heavy-lifting contest, Ricky Williams just jumped to the top of the list after carrying the whole Dolphins team to a win over newly-tough Carolina.

Jacksonville (promoted): Well, it was a win, but struggle like this against anyone other than the Bills and this is as far as the Jags' bandwagon rolls.

Baltimore (no change): The Ravens need to put out an APB for Joe Flacco. With 12 TDs in his first 7 games, he had this team on the move; with none in the last three, their season is in danger of dying a quick and dramatic death.

Atlanta (no change): Just when the real Matt Ryan returns, the defense goes AWOL. Mike Smith needs to get his roll-call in order.

Championship (the teams just treading water)

Tennessee (no change): If only some of these Titans had been available for the first six games. What? They were? Um...

Carolina (no change): Just a quick question, but if 42 Pass Attempts = just 227 yards (and 1 INT), while 27 Rushing Attempts = 172 yards, isn't this equation out of whack? See also Reid, Andy, under 'balance'.

Denver (relegated): Could the Broncos be the first team to finish the season 0-10 after starting 6-0?

Houston (no change): Another week of 'If Only...' for the Texans. It's starting to sound like Gary Kubiak's mantra.

San Francisco (no change): How much do you think the 49ers would like to have picked Aaron Rodgers in 2005 (rather than Alex Smith) these days?

Chicago (no change): Not quite good enough on offense, not quite good enough on defense. The Bears' season is fizzling out slowly but surely.

Kansas City (promoted): Just don't count on the opposition handing you three key turnovers every week.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we're back up to a Nondescript Nine)

NY Jets (relegated): Probably not a great idea to get the Pats all riled up, hey Rex?

Seattle (relegated): Has their offense already decided it's the end of the season?

Oakland (no change): Well, if they only have to play the last minute of every game, they might be contenders.

Detroit (no change): For a moment, you're inclined to think this was something special, a 38-37 victory with a last-second TD throw. But then you remember, it was only the Browns.

Washington (no change): This offense has won three games? Really? How, exactly?

Tampa Bay (no change): If only they could have stopped the game after their first drive...

Buffalo (no change): Somehow this team has scored 155 points this season. So, another rhetorical question: Can anyone tell me how?

St Louis (no change): Only Oakland have scored fewer points this season. That lone win against Detroit already seems a LONG time ago.

Cleveland (no change): How comical is this - they finally score a shedload of points, and their defense proves even worse than Detroit's. Guess I have them pegged pretty much right where they need to be.

2009-11-19T15:59:00.000-08:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 10

Our Titanic Twosome sail serenely on (kind of) after navigating another couple of potential icebergs in the shape of St Louis and New England. Minnesota and Cincinnati continue to keep pace, and the bunch of teams who still have eyes on a Wild Card berth remain buoyant. But we're still not seeing anyone making a solid case for Champions League status, and the wild, wacky nature of NFL '09 keeps on unfolding, especially if you're Dallas, Chicago, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, Denver and Philadelphia. Can ANY of them string together two straight weeks of progress?

So where does that leave everyone in our unique power rankings...

Champions League (the Best of the Best)

New Orleans (no change): Ho hum, still here, still pretty much unchallenged, even if they did have another almighty struggle against lightweight opposition. More importantly, 100 all-purpose yards, 2 touchdowns; is this finally the advent of Reggie Bush as an NFL force?

Indianapolis (no change): Even Peyton Manning seemed to struggle to get his head around the last-minute 'reprieve' handed out by New England's failed fourth-down play. However, the key stat is now 20-19; that's TD passes by Manning and Drew Brees in the season's battle for MVP honours.

Minnesota (no change): Adrian Peterson had as many fumbles as TDs. Against a good team in the playoffs, that spells End of Season. Luckily, it wasn't against a good team and they are now 8-1 for the first time since 1998.

Cincinnati (no change): What a difference a year makes! This time in 2008, the Bengals had just limped into their bye week at 1-8, with Cedric Benson rushing for 104 yards in their lone win over Jacksonville. The REAL difference, of course, is they don't have Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB.

Pittsburgh (no change): Somehow, last year's Ravens have become this year's Bengals, and the Steelers just weren't ready for that kind of intensity from a long-dormant rival. Somehow, I feel they will also meet again this season, and I can't see the Steelers losing again.

New England (no change): Do you think the Patriots' D are miffed at not getting the chance to save the game? Yup, me too.

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

San Diego (no change): Hard to know if it was the old bend-but-don't-break defensive strategy or on old-fashioned can't-defend-the-pass-for-toffee scenario for the Bolts against the Eagles. No-one should give up 450 yards passing and concede just 23 points. Let's see what the D manages in the rarefied air of Mile High this week.

Arizona (no change): Hold on, there's a theme developing here. The Cards gave up 495 yards to the inconsistent Seahawks but still conceded just 20 points. If they played the Chargers, would the winner be the first to score 100?

Dallas (no change): Here's a fine kettle of piscine creatures. NONE of the next six teams at this level managed to advance their cause an inch. They can't be ALL after the Wild Card, can they?

Baltimore (no change): Yes they won, but did you SEE it? With Brady Quinn playing like Niall Quinn, the Ravens still struggled to put 16 points on the board. Somehow I think they might be an angry team against the Colts this Sunday.

Denver (no change): Here's a sentence you never thought you would write: "Losing Kyle Orton doomed this team to defeat."

Atlanta (no change): Michael Turner out, Matt Ryan playing like the rookie he isn't, and the D giving up TDs to Jake Delhomme. Time for Mike Smith to prove he's not a one-year wonder.

Philadelphia (no change): Having all those shiny new wideout weapons seems to have blinded the Eagles' play-calling to something called balance. They haven't had it at any stage this season and the offence is looking increasingly out of whack. Really strange stat: NO runner has managed 100 yards in a game involving the Eagles this season.

Houston (no change): Time for Matt Schuab to prove he can get this team over the hump after his week off.

Championship (the teams treading water)

Green Bay (no change): So THAT's what a 3-4 defense is supposed to do!

Giants (no change): There's no truth in the rumour the Giants would like a second bye week. You couldn't blame them, though - no injuries and their closest two rivals both lost. The perfect week off.

Miami (no change): The Wildcat lost its claws with the season-ending injury of Ronnie Brown. Whether Ricky Williams can provide the same cutting edge is now the big question for the 'Fins.

Carolina (no change): With that one-two running punch, it is just baffling why the Panthers struggled through the first five games.

Tennessee (no change): Just where was THIS Chris Johnson in the first five games of the season, too?

Jacksonville (no change): 0 INT + MJD = W. Simple math.

San Francisco (no change): Can we come up with a new category of result for games like this? It wasn't so much a Win over the Bears as a Not Lose.

Chicago (relegated): Truly, catastrophically abysmal on offense.

NY Jets (no change): Hand out the Kleenex. And this was a two-box loss against the Jags.

Seattle (no change): Does the 'Red' zone stand for Red-faced? Cos that's how the Seahawks offense should be after putting up just 3 points in the whole second half at Arizona.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and it is still the Less-Than-Great Eight!)

Washington (no change): The Last Chance Saloon just got an extension, thanks to Mike Sellers' fake field goal TD, and an injury to Kyle Orton (you see, I didn't believe I said it the first time, so I had to say it again).

Tampa Bay (no change): If the Bucs can just find a way to get Kellen Winslow in the game in BOTH halves (7 catches for 102 yards in the second half), they would be THIS close to another win.

Buffalo (no change): A fine three-quarter team. Shame most games need a fourth quarter.

Kansas City (no change): Well, it WAS a win.....

St Louis (no change): Probably enough for a win against almost any other team. Now let's see the Rams put in that kind of effort two weeks in a row

Detroit (no change): The Lions simply have to get more out of Kevin Smith than 57 yards per game.

Oakland (no change): Well, at least they finally admitted what everyone else in the league has known all season, that JaMarcus Russell isn't the answer (unless the question is what quarterback will lose you the game in the quickest possible time?). His so-called receivers could also be dumped at the same time, though.

Cleveland (no change): And so we come to the very worst of the worst this week, a team so pitiful on offense that the only thing their QB will be remembered for is a cheap hit on a linebacker while trying to 'Tackle' someone else following another INT. Ye gods, what a feeble bunch.

2009-11-15T08:29:00.000-08:00

QBCL Part 8

It looked like we might show a BIT of improvement this week in the Quarterback Challenged League (otherwise known as the NFL), but, sad to relate, the final three games of Week 9 turned in a miserable 10 INTs to leave the overall figure again looking just flat out miserable.

That means it is now four straight weeks of below-par performances. This can be partly explained in the TD column by the fact we have had just 13 (instead of 14 or 16) games since Week 7, but how does that explain the increase in INTs?

The figures don't lie, you know...

39:34: the TD:INT count; pretty much the same as last week's (poor) effort. The TD totals so far this season: 42, 48, 39 (all in 16 games), 41, 41, 39 (in 14), 39, 31, 39 (in 13). So 39 is a pretty popular score, maybe even an average score. But hardly impressive - an average of exactly 3 passing TDs per game. But 13 came in just two games (Arizona-Chicago and Green Bay-Tampa Bay), leaving just 26 among the other 11 games. And 34 INTs? That's 2.6 per game, the highest of the season (2.4 in Week 6). The INT totals so far: 35, 28, 25 (in 16), 22, 19, 34 (in 14) and 33, 25, 34 (in 13). No sign of improvement. At all.

+5: the TD:INT ratio; equalling the previous worst this season (Week 6). Woeful.

3: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD:INT ratio (Arizona-Chicago, surprising Kansas City-Jacksonville and San Diego-Giants). Only one above last week's low for the season. And 5 remains the high (Wk 4).

10: teams with a positive TD:INT ratio (Arizona, Chicago, Cincinnati, Kansas City, Jacksonville, Miami, Tampa Bay, San Diego, Giants, Pittsburgh). Another low for the season so far. The only consistency is in the steady decline. The figures so far: 14, 18, 17, 15, 15, 15, 11, 13, 12, and now 10. Truly miserable.

10: multi-pass TD teams (Arizona, Chicago, Kansas City, Green Bay, Tampa Bay, Detroit, San Diego, Giants, San Francisco, Pittsburgh). OK, that's 2 better than last week, but hardly impressive.

4: teams that did NOT produce a passing TD (Baltimore, Carolina, Tennessee, Denver). Amazingly, that's the lowest of the season so far, even with all 32 teams playing. So this is a GOOD thing - but a VERY rare positive in the increasingly bleak panorama of the QBCL.

15-4: fumbles and fumbles lost by the QBs. Well below average, so another plus point for the beleaguered signal-callers. At least they can actually hold on to the ball OK!

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Our Terrible 10 last week were: Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Washington, Buffalo, Tampa, Jacksonville, San Francisco, Detroit and Chicago. And Tampa, Jacksonville and Chicago all went a long way on the improvement stakes. We're still waiting to see if Alex Smith is the answer for the 49ers (another 4 turnovers in Wk 9), while there were major alarms for Denver, Green Bay and Baltimore. So, just a Sad 7 for this week, well down on the season-high of 12 (Wk 6). But watch this space - Week 10 started with a truly abysmal quarterback show in the 49ers-Bears game with 0 TDs and a stunning 6 INTs. That's also 6:12 for Jay Cutler personally in his last 5 games - well on the way to putting Chicago back in here for keeps.

2009-11-13T17:54:00.000-08:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 9

The genuine Contenders are starting to mass ominously near the summit of our Four Levels of NFL Power, and that could spell trouble for our well-established (and still unbeaten) Top Two. New England, Cincinnati and Dallas are all beginning to generate a significant rumble from bandwagons that could do some real damage in the coming weeks.

So let's see how that translates into the overall standings in our unique power rankings...

Champions League (the Best of the Best)

New Orleans (no change): Is there some kind of bizarre handicapping system going on down in Louisiana? The Saints seem to need to spot their opponents a couple of touchdowns before they are allowed out of the starting blocks themselves. If it happens again this week at St Louis we'll KNOW there's something fishy going on.

Indianapolis (no change): Dallas Clark is on course to catch 120 passes this year. Just think about that for a minute. The only players to top that figure in the past 15 years were called Marvin Harrison (2002), Jerry Rice (1995), Herman Moore (1995) and Cris Carter (1994 and '95). Would there be any doubt about this year's MVP if he gets there?

Pittsburgh (no change): The triple-headed monster - Big Ben, a pounding running game and the traditional, swarming D - woke from its early-season slumber in Denver, surveyed the parade of pretenders for their crown, and pronounced them weak. Watch out Cincy on Sunday.

Minnesota (no change): Let Groin-Watch commence. How far Brett Favre can run on that mythical strain will be as far as the Vikings end up going.

New England (promoted): All week they must have had The Who's refrain of 'We won't get fooled again' blaring in the background before their return fixture with The Wildcat. Would be kind of appropriate if they met up again during the half-time show at Super Bowl XLIV (the Pats and The Who, that is).

Cincinnati (promoted): The magic number for the Bengals is 104. That's the average per game rushing they're getting from the amazing Cedric Benson, not so much a retread as a complete rebuild. And CB version 2.0 is their key to post-season glory - if he keeps topping 104. Do that against the Steelers this week and the only things between them and a mind-boggling 14-2 are Minnesota and San Diego.

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

Dallas (no change): Their lowest winning score of the season was arguably the most impressive but you just know the 'Boys will find a way to turn this big stride forward into a limp at some stage.

Denver (relegated): Oh, that feeling of deja vu. It has just arrived 7 weeks early this season.

San Diego (no change): It's pantomime time, folks, with cries of 'They're behind you!" ringing in the Broncos' ears.

Arizona (no change): "Home games? We don't need no stinkin' home games." Except that the Cards will have to find a way to win at least one back in the desert, even if they run the table on the road (which seems highly likely after the complete demolition of the Bears). A 9-7 record might not be good enough, even in the weak-as-water NFC West.

Atlanta (no change): That gaudy 9.2 yards/rush from Michael Turner against the Redskins helps to take a lot of the spotlight away from Matt Ryan's continued struggles. His last three games have produced just 4 TDs and 6 INTs, while his 135 yards passing were he 2nd lowest of his 2-year career. How do you spell sophomore slump.....?

Baltimore (no change): And talking of 2nd-year struggles, Joe Flacco is 4:4 for TDs and INts in his last four games, and that won't get it done, either.

Philadelphia (no change): Hey, Andy Reid. On fourth and 1, you have a pretty good full-back this year, you know? That pitiful quarterback sneak wouldn't have fooled the woeful Browns.

Houston (no change): You knew this was coming, didn't you? "So near, and yet..."

Chicago (no change): When your quarterback throws for more than 350 yards and three TDs, you know it's not the fault of the offense when you lose. But this was a D that has struggled mightily in recent weeks (and the game against Cleveland just doesn't count).

Championship (the teams treading water)

Giants (relegated): Offense, defense, special teams; they all need a major tune-up during the bye week. The wacky NFC East is hardly cut and dried at this stage, but the Giants have to find a gear apart from 'reverse.'

Miami (relegated): This is still a powerful team on paper. Trouble is, they keep getting paper cuts.

NY Jets (no change): Rex Ryan has challenged his D to turn a few takeaways into TDs. It would help more if the offense would cut out the giveaways at the other end.

San Francisco (no change): Was that truly a half-game mirage at Houston? Those 3 Alex Smith second-half TD passes against the Texans turned into 3 INTs against Tennessee. But the D also gave up 315 yards to Vince Young and Co, so there will plenty of blame to go round if they don't get back on track against the battered Bears.

Green Bay (relegated): They lost? To Tampa BAY and their rookie QB? Altogether now: "Bwahahahaha!!"

Tennessee (promoted): Powerful running game? Check. QB playing controlled, error-free ball? Check. Opportunistic defense? Check. Seems like 2008 all over again..

Jacksonville (promoted): You see what happens when the QB protects the ball? The double double-barrelled threats of Sims-Walker and Jones-Drew certainly appreciate it.

Seattle (no change): They outgained Detroit by only 97 yards and they can't expect the opposition QB to hand them 5 INTs every week. So not a lot to be thrilled about as they prepare for their Super Bowl at Arizona. Lose there and they are looking at another lost season.

Carolina (no change): A valiant loss to the Saints is no disgrace in these rankings, but wasting a 149-yard, 2 TD outing from DeAngelo Williams certainly is.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and it is now just the Less-Than-Great Eight!)

Tampa Bay (no change): Josh Freeman must be wondering what all the fuss was about. There's nothing to this NFL lark, he could be forgiven for thinking. Trouble is, he doesn't get to play the Packers' B-team every week.

Buffalo (no change): The bye week should have at least provided a few healthy bodies for Dick Jauron to work with for a change. But is there much life left in these decaying bones?

Kansas City (no change): The Chiefs against the Raiders? Time to draw the curtains to protect the innocent.

Washington (no change): Last orders in the Last Chance Saloon for Jim Zorn this Sunday with the visit of Denver.

Oakland (no change): A merciful week off. No, not for the Raiders but for anyone who has to watch them. If they can't now scrape something together against the Chiefs, surely even Al Davis has to realise it's time to clean out this moribund closet?

St Louis (no change): That's a wicked piece of scheduling. Get your week off then run straight into the Saints. Still, at least they can see exactly how far they are off the pace.

Cleveland (no change): Another team to take pity on their fans by taking a week off. Now it's up to Brady Quinn to remind us how feeble this offense is.

Detroit (no change): Matt Stafford could be the first person in history to be thrown to the Lions - and end up being thrown back.

2009-11-07T16:56:00.000-08:00

QBCL Part 7

I thought I'd give it a couple of weeks to see if the signal-callers of the Quarterback Challenged League (otherwise known as the NFL) could clamber out of the Week Six hole they dug for themselves. I should have known better. Not only did they not improve on that particular nadir, they have managed to get worse in several significant categories.

So, with no further ado, let's get on to...The Figures:

Wk 7: 39:33, only marginally better than the worst TD:INT ratio of the season in Wk 6 (39:34), again equalling the lowest passing TD total and only two off the highest INT figure. Amazingly, if you take freakish Cincinnati (and Carson Palmer's 5 TD blitz of Chicago) and smooth Indianapolis (3:0) out of the equation, you get a miserable 31:33. Feeble.
Wk 8: 31:25, and a new low. Only 31 passing TDs in 13 games? Pathetic. And, if you take just two games out of this equation (Minnesota-Green Bay and Seattle-Dallas), that figure becomes 19:25. That should horrify quite a few.

Wk 7 and 8: +6: Only 1 better than the previous low of +5 (again in Wk 6). So, after the high of +22 in Wk 5, we've now gone 5, 6, 6. Not so much in a rut as down the deepest, darkest mine.

Wk 7, 2: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD:INT ratio (San Francisco-Houston, and Philadelphia-Washington, somehow!). Worst of the year. What is going on here?
Wk 8, 3: hardly a whole lot better (from Wks 2-5 we had 4, 4, 5, 4).

Wk 7, 13: teams with a positive TD:INT ratio (Green Bay, San Francisco, Houston, San Diego, Indianapolis, New England, Pittsburgh, Buffalo, Jets, Cincinnati, Dallas, Philadelphia, Washington). Only 2 above the previous low of 11 (Wk 6). Ordinary.
Wk 8, 12: Baltimore, Seattle, Dallas, Miami, Jets, Indianapolis, Philadelphia, Tennessee, Minnesota, Green Bay, Carolina, New Orleans). Again, down near the bottom of the barrel.

Wk 7, 10: multi-pass TD teams (Green Bay, San Francisco, Houston, San Diego, Indianapolis, New England, Cincinnati, Atlanta, Dallas, Washington). Week 1 gave us a paltry 9, so this represents more barrel-scraping, methinks.
Wk 8, 8: ye gods, another low (Seattle, Dallas, Jets, Philadelphia, Minnesota, Green Bay, Arizona, New Orleans). Is there a word below feeble?

Wk 7, 6: teams that did NOT produce a passing TD (Cleveland, St Louis, Minnesota, Carolina, Oakland, Miami). The best so far was the 5 of Wk 4, and the average is 6.7, so this is above average. Just!
Wk 8, 8: Denver, Houston, Buffalo, Cleveland, Chicago, Detroit, Oakland, Jacksonville. Only 2 previous weeks (Wks 3 and 6) did worse than this with 9. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...

13-4 and 10-5: fumbles and fumbles lost by the various QBs. The average to date is 17.75-7.25 so both of these are much better than the average. Phew!

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. This stat had grown to an incredible 12 after Wk 6 - Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Tennessee, Washington, Buffalo, Tampa, Jacksonville, San Francisco, Detroit and the Jets).
Wk 7 - we can reduce it (praise be!) to 10 by dropping San Francisco (the rebirth of Alex Smith) and the Jets (Mark Sanchez back on firmer ground).
Wk 8 - it stays at 10; Tennessee claw their way out (thanks to the rebirth of Vince Young) but I have to include Chicago (after Jay Cutler goes 1:4 in two weeks, including the ultimate fallibility of failing to throw a TD against Cleveland - CLEVELAND! - for god's sake).
Therefore, our Terrible Ten reads: Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Washington, Buffalo, Tampa, Jacksonville, San Francisco, Detroit and Chicago.
Terrible Ten warning - Arizona and Giants, whose QBs have gone 3-6 and 2-5 for the past two weeks.

And, of that miserable number, two stand out like beacons. Cleveland, whose last 4 passing yardages read: 23, 122, 85 and 99 (and Brady Quinn STILL can't get a start!), with 9 turnovers in that spell. 'Starting' QB Derek Anderson now has a 'passer' rating of 36.2. HAH!! And Oakland, whose last 4 have gone 100, 224 (the amazing win over Philly), 61 and 109 with 6 turnovers from 'top pick' JaMarcus Russell, who now has a 'passer' rating of 48.3. Can anyone tell me WHY these two 'quarterbacks' are STILL starting (apart from the fact they have byes this week)??

2009-11-06T17:14:00.000-08:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 8

Our Top Two remain rock solid and appear to be putting some daylight between them and the chasing pack, with no-one really stepping up to declare themselves true heavyweights at this stage. Plenty of potential, but the proof of the pudding is in the punching (or some such similar nonsense). What that really means is there is only minimal (if that) movement again this week, with no-one mounting a charge either upwards or downwards (unless you are the Jaguars).

And so, with that in mind - along with another disastrous week for the Terrible Ten - here we go with the unique NFL rankings in the Four Levels of Power...

Champions League (the Best of the Best)

New Orleans (no change): OK, OK, lets officially dump all this talk of 16-0. Even Reggie Bush doesn't really believe that, does he? Shall we settle for 14-2 and top seed in the NFC instead?

Indianapolis (no change): Time to man the ramparts, Colts. These next 4 games will test them to the limit - it's the Texans, Pats, Ravens and Texans again, all 4 with front-line QBs who will be up against a secondary deprived of two of its top DBs. Mind you, if they are 9-0 in two weeks' time, the quality of the Saints' opposition will come under serious scrutiny.

Minnesota (no change): Never mind that the Vikes' vaunted D is under-performing, Adrian Peterson has yet to get into high gear and they are still putting up points like a pinball machine. It's going to take a serious malfunction of the O-line to knock them off their current perch.

Pittsburgh (no change): The Steelers had better be well rested for the coming month - Denver, Cincinnati and Baltimore, plus a tricky trip to Arrowhead Stadium, are all on the menu, and things could get seriously indigestible.

Denver (no change): Big question for the Broncos' offense this week: did they just run into a vintage Ravens roadblock or did a wheel fall noisily off their bandwagon? The really bad news is that they get another dose of the AFC North this week. Time to see if there is real substance behind that 6-1 record.

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

New England (no change): That frantic scrabbling noise is the sound of the Pats' desperation to get at the Dolphins this week.

Cincinnati (no change): Cedric Benson has earned his week's rest (only the Rams' Steven Jackson has more carries - 165 to 164 - than the ex-Bear so far this year) but if he gets another 120 yards against the Ravens' D he will deserve the rest of the year off.

Baltimore (no change): Did they make their Statement Game a week too early or was this the perfect tune-up for the Bengals?

Philadelphia (no change): Who were those imposters in Giants jerseys at The Linc on Sunday? Hard to remember such a feeble showing from the boys in blue but the Eagles certainly took full advantage. We'll see if DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin get the freedom of the backfield against the Cowboys, though.

Dallas (no change): That 5-2 record will seem awfully hollow if the Cowboys lose their second straight division game.

Houston (no change): Time to step up to the Next Level, you Texans. Either you are For Real , or the Colts will (again) make mincemeat of you and leave a gulf in the AFC South the size of Texas.

San Diego (no change): A 12-point win over one of the Terrible Ten is certainly nothing to propel you to great heights hereabouts, but here's a chance to chalk up a genuine, merit-worthy 'W' this week.

Arizona (no change): Ladies and gentlemen, after the brain-fart, let me introduce you to - the Game Fart. A complete, collective raspberry from the Cardinals at home to Carolina. Not a thing about this performance that left a good odour, and they need to get right in a hurry at Chicago.

Atlanta (no change): Just what a team needs after two tough defeats, the visit of one of the Terrible Ten. 5-3 here we come!

Chicago (no change): The Bears had their rest cure last week (otherwise known as a game against Cleveland), so now they need to get serious again.

Giants (no change): I was ready to relegate them this week, then a little voice pointed out a 5-3 record and said 'Do they REALLY deserve to be down with the hopeful and hopeless?' And the answer, of course, is No. Unless they come up empty against the Chargers.

Miami (no change): The Dolphins will need more than that smoke-and-mirrors act that ambushed the Jets when they head back to the North East this Sunday. A fully functional running game would help, and a quarterback who can complete more than 12 passes will also be necessary in New England. Joey Porter's bulletin board material for the Pats may make things even trickier.

Green Bay (no change): Hanging on to this level by their very finger-tips after another exposure to one of the NFL's elite, they get one more of the Terrible Ten to beat up on to try to get in shape for the Big Test in Week 10 against the Cowboys.

Championship (the teams treading water)

NY Jets (no change): Is this really a 4-4 team? Take a week off to figure it out.

San Francisco (no change): Another gallant failure but a 3-4 record doesn't lie. This is still a pretty toothless team - and the challenge of Tennessee suddenly looks serious, too.

Seattle (no change): Having finally lost their not-so-cutting Edge, the Seahawks will put the whole load on Julius Jones. It's sink or swim time, Jonesy.

Carolina (promoted): No-one saw THAT coming. A win based on a swarming D is certainly a BIG step in the right direction but just SEVEN completions from the quarterback? Hardly an offensive statement of intent.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and we STILL have a Terrible Ten )

Tennessee (no change): Titans, your hope of salvation is named Johnson.

Jacksonville (relegated): While the Panthers finally managed to bite, scratch and claw their way free of the basement, the Jags drop straight in to keep up our quota. They do have a chance to bounce straight back, but lose again this week - to the Chiefs - and they will be doomed to this level for keeps.

Kansas City (no change): The sheer, blessed relief of the bye week!

Washington (no change): Ditto!

Buffalo (no change): No quarterback = No chance at this level.

Oakland (no change): Well, the defense haven't thrown in the towel. Shame the offense never brought one with them.

Tampa Bay (no change): All's quiet in Buc-land, too. But is Josh Freeman now ready for the storm to burst around his head (instead of Josh Johnson's)?

St Louis (no change): Yes they won, but did you SEE this game? The UFL has more to offer than this.

Cleveland (no change): Just 78 points in 8 games. Need I say more?

Detroit (no change): When you lose to the bottom team - and manage just 10 points - you KNOW what's coming, don't you? Just one win in the last 24, and counting (and counting...)

2009-11-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 7

If you enjoy one-sided contests – Christians v Lions, Light Brigade v Russian artillery, Anyone v Tampa – then Week 7 of the NFL was tailor-made just for you. It had enough routs, shellackings and bullyings to keep the most avid watcher of car-wrecks happy for the season.

I know I said it last week, but there really is a mighty imbalance between the cream of the crop and the cellar dwellers this season. Which leads us on to the following conclusions in this week’s fairly immobile NFL power rankings…

Champions League (the Best of the Best)

New Orleans (no change): Front-runners? Check. Come-from-behind capability? Check. Red-hot quarterback? Double-check. Is it playoff time yet?

Indianapolis (no change): Lift up your car’s hood when it’s on cruise control and it looks very much like these Colts.

Denver (no change): Having galloped (ho, ho) into a commanding position, the Broncos are probably ready to kick down the stable door to get at the Ravens after their bye week.

Pittsburgh (promoted): Fourth quarter struggles? What fourth quarter struggles?

Minnesota (no change): “For Fox sake,” or something similar. Those were the final words of the game from Brett Favre as Keyaron Fox streaked 82 yards with his interception return to ice a see-saw game.

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

New England (no change): Beating up on the JV teams just doesn’t count for anything in these here parts.

Arizona (no change): Last season’s East Coast miseries are now firmly a thing of the past for these Cardinals. Next stop, another NFC West domination.

Cincinnati (no change): Do you think the Bears are still wondering, if only we’d had THAT Cedric Benson?

Giants (relegated): Out of sync, out of balance, out of luck – and out of the Champions League. Just goes to show that feasting on members of the Terrible Ten over the first five weeks isn’t much use when it comes to anyone else.

Dallas (no change): The immutable law of desperation says a talented team in a ‘must-win’ scenario always beats a talented team with rather less to play for. Let us know how it works out in Week 8.

Atlanta (no change): LDQ* + NDL** = Defeat. Not irreversible
(*LDQ, or Lack of Desperation Quotient; **NDL, or No Discernible Luck)

San Diego (no change): Crisis? What crisis? You see, playing one of the Terrible Ten really is the cure-all.

Philadelphia (no change): The flippant observation is they made terribly hard work of another of the Terrible Ten. The in-depth prognostication is they REALLY made hard work of another of the Terrible Ten.

Green Bay (no change): Two games against members of the Conference; 57-3. Now, is that ANY help at all when it comes to facing a REAL team this week?

Baltimore (no change): the perfect time to take a week off and plan to see if their defensive mojo can match up to the Broncos’ this week.

Houston (no change): Two wins in a row? OK, we’ll take you seriously now.

Chicago (no change): And now, the Bears' D will do an impression of Swiss cheese.

Miami (no change): Talking of Swiss cheese, the Dolphins' 36-point second-half surrender is in pretty much the same territory.

Championship (the teams with everything to prove)

NY Jets (no change): How does a struggling team get well in a hurry? Yes, you guessed it, a game against one of the Terrible Ten is always the answer.

Jacksonville (no change): During their bye week, the Jags will be putting out an APB for the David Garrard of 2007 (with the passer rating of 102.2) as opposed to this year's version (78.5).

San Francisco (no change): Now where has THAT Alex Smith been for the past 3 seasons? More importantly, can he keep it up for more than a half?

Seattle (no change): Never mind the bye week, can the Seahawks get a bye month to try to get a few players healthy again?

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - and the Terrible Ten are STILL intact)

Buffalo (no change): Usual Conference rules apply - you have to beat someone from outside this group to earn any kudos.

Carolina (no change): And turnover machine Jake Delhomme is STILL at QB? How BAD must his back-ups be?

Oakland (no change): NOW will you please go away and find another league to pollute.

Kansas City (no change): How do you spell shambles? C-H-I-E-F-S.

Washington (no change): Even the Eagles seemed to get bored scoring points against them. Another offence going absolutely nowhere.

Tennessee (no change): The glorious safety of the Bye week.

Cleveland (no change): That's 4 games out of 7 being held to six points or less. Hard to see how you get much worse.

Detroit (no change): For once, the carnage of the Conference did not include the Lions - thanks to the Bye week!

Tampa Bay (no change): Pure and utter ineptitude, thy name is Buccaneers.

St Louis (no change): Can you imagine just how bad their games against Detroit and Tennessee might be?

2009-10-24T19:07:00.000-07:00

QBCL Part 6

It must be the praise thing; the signal callers of the Quarterback Challenged League just can't handle it. That's the only way to explain them going from the Penthouse last week to the Outhouse this week. While there were some eye-catching displays from the likes of Tom Brady, Matt Schaub and Drew Brees, there were fully 11 teams who stunk it up so badly, the figures slumped to rock bottom for the season so far. So, with no further ado, let's get on to...

The Figures:

39:34: the worst TD:INT ratio of the season, equalling the lowest passing TD total of the campaign to date (39, in Week 3) and the 2nd worst INT total so far (just one below Week 1's appalling 35). After last week's stellar 41:19, this is stunningly bad. Even worse, with Houston, New Orleans and freakish New England accounting for a lop-sided 14-1 of those, the other 25 teams combined to go 25:33. Mind-boggling.

+5: also the worst of the season, surpassing the feeble +7 of Week 1. From a dizzying +22 last week, too. Nuff said.

3: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (Baltimore-Minnesota, Giants-New Orleans, Denver San Diego). So far this season we've had 3, 4, 4, 5, and 4, so we're back to where we started. Poor.

11: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio (Houston, Green Bay, Baltimore, Minnesota, Giants, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, Arizona, New England, Denver, San Diego), again the worst to date, easily lower than the previous lowest of 14, also in Week 1.

12: multi-TD passing teams (Houston, Green Bay, Baltimore, Minnesota, Giants, New Orleans, Pittsburgh, Arizona, New England, Chicago, Atlanta, Denver). Week 1 provided the worst figure for the season so far (9), but this is still firmly in 'poor' territory.

9: teams that did not produce a passing TD. Equalling the worst of the season (Week 3). Not looking good, is it?

23-10: fumbles and fumbles lost by the various QBs. The average thus far is 19.8-8.1, so, again, this is poor to awful. Only one week has produced more fumbles (Week 4's 24-13), hence the cumulative stats by this stage suggest a major implosion of the QBCL. That was also a ridiculous 44 total turnovers from the guys under center, for anyone who is still counting. In 14 games, at 3.14 per game. Astronomical. Oh, and only ONE game was completely turnover-free (Baltimore-Minnesota).

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Now, this stat is possibly the one that is most worrying for the league. Because it just keeps on growing. Last week we tabbed a season-high 10 (Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Tennessee, Washington, Buffalo, Tampa, Jacksonville and San Francisco), and NONE of them did anything to escape this conclusion this week (although, admittedly, the 49ers were on a bye!). However, this week we can add the Jets (Mark Sanchez going backwards at an astonishing rate of knots) and Detroit (the combined collapse of Drew Stanton and Daunte Culpepper) for a truly terrible 12. And Seattle took a step back, too. That means more than a third of the league (37.5%) is currently either unsettled or incapable at QB. Can anyone wonder why I still call it the QBCL?

2009-10-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 6

So now we know. The good teams are all pretty good, and the bad teams are just plain awful. And there's not a whole lot in between. So, with that brief statement in the bank, let us move swiftly on to the unique Four Levels of Power....

Champions League (the Best of the Best)

New Orleans (no change): top of the heap, the cream of the crop, the big cheeses. Where is the weakness in this team?

Indianapolis (no change): Fresh? Check. Rested? Check. Best QB in the League? Check. The Colts have a very checkered look after their bye week.

Minnesota (no change): you feel oxygen may be needed fairly soon as the Vikings taste some pretty rarefied air. Either that, or a pacemaker for their venerable QB.

Denver (no change): all the time they have the opposition playing catch-up, this Denver defense is a beast. And they are feeding on prime beef just now.

Giants (no change): memo to Tom Coughlin. Brandon Jacobs needs work to be effective. Seven carries a game is ludicrous.

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

Atlanta (no change): red alert! Teams that invade the Falcons' red zone come away with little! Read all about it.....

Pittsburgh (no change): A) It was just Cleveland. B) There is still so sign of a consistent running game. And 3) It WAS only Cleveland.

New England (no change): A) It was only Tennessee. B). etc. And 3) That was very possibly the most abject 'defensive' performance of all time.

Arizona (no change): is this the year of the vintage QB? Favre; Manning, P; Brees; and now Warner. In each case, their teams will go as far as these arms will carry them.

Chicago (no change): a major big-stage audition failure. It would be easy to jump on the 'Cutler Can't Pass In The Red Zone' bandwagon, but truth to tell, the disappearance of Matt Forte is more telling. And baffling.

Miami (no change): a week off to sharpen the claws of the Wildcat for the visit of New Orleans; now we'll see if this feline really has legs.

Baltimore (no change): misfortune, thy name is Hauschka.

San Diego (no change): the IRS (Incremental Reverse Syndrome) is now firmly established in Chargerville; all forward progress is arrested and each step seems to take them steadily backwards just now. Their whole season hinges on this week's trip to Kansas.

Philadelphia (no change): a laughable performance at Oakland - just 14 running plays against the league's 30th-ranked run defense, 46 passes (just 48% completion rate), and the first team in three YEARS to fail to score a TD against the Raiders - serves as the Eagles' Cincy moment in 2009. Last year, an equally miserable effort in the 'losing' tie against the Bengals served as the team's rallying point. Anything less against the Redskins on Monday and these birds are toast.

Dallas (no change): Jerry Jones' shiny new stadium may wind up being the Cowboys' only claim to fame in 2009 - unless their team has said 'bye to its mis-firing ways.

Green Bay (promoted): A) it WAS only the Lions. But B) they did a very thorough job.

Cincinnati (no change): was that 4-1 really a mirage? Have the Bengals already reached their high water mark this year? Did you know that if you get one letter wrong in their name you get a 1980s all-girl pop group? (Answers on a postcard.....)

Houston (promoted): if ever the Texans are to be taken seriously, they need to break their win-one, lose-one mentality against the 49ers this week.

Championship (the teams with everything to prove)

Jacksonville (no change): A) It was only the Rams, And B) it was only just. Every time Maurice Jones-Drew got them on the front foot, David Garrard shot them in it. Just Five TDs and 7 turnovers from the Jags' QB so far this season suggests MJD needs to turn into Superman to get this team going anywhere this term.

San Francisco (no change): now we'll see if Dre' is still Dre'. Or if Mike Singletary has had a not-so-quiet word in his shell-like.

NY Jets (relegated): How do you spell Frauds? J-E-T-S.

Seattle (no change): if Matt Hasselbeck isn't the answer for the Seahawks, it's hard to see who is.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men. The Terrible Ten remain intact for this week, despite several 'W's. There is such a huge gulf between them and the next level it would take a leap of quantum proportions to get them there)

Carolina (no change): the belated discovery of a running game at Tampa may have papered over some cracks, and the Panthers can add another layer this week against Buffalo. But if they finish more than 4-12 it would still be a major surprise. And that is firmly Conference territory.

Buffalo (no change): let me get this right. Mark Sanchez threw 5 of his 15 'completions' to the Bills and yet they still managed only an overtime squeaker?

Oakland (no change): take away the one freak pass when the Eagles defence went AWOL and Zach Miller rambled most of the 86 yards, and JaMarcus Russell was just 16 of 27 for 138 yards, 0 TDs and 2 INTs. And anyone's supposed to be impressed?

Kansas City (no change): if only the winless could play Washington EVERY week!

Cleveland (no change): trips to Detroit and Kansas are the sole high points left this season for the Browns. And that's being as kind as possible.

Washington (no change): how bad were the Skins at HOME to Kansas City? The Chiefs entered the afternoon giving up 28 points per game and Washington managed just 265 yards of total offense in a field goal suck-fest.

Tennessee (no change): hey, Titans, your bye week is THIS week.

Detroit (no change): the Lions are now 1 for the last 23. That No 2 is now looking a LONG way off.

Tampa Bay (no change): even the inability to fill the stadium can't seem to save Bucs fans from the awful TV truth.

St Louis (no change): well, there are still Detroit and Tennessee....

2009-10-17T15:22:00.000-07:00

These ARE Your Daddy's Yankees!

It may have taken them almost 10 years to get their mojo back, but there can now be little doubt we are watching a vintage - and high-powered - New York Yankees team this year.

Having brushed aside Minnesota with almost contemptuous ease, the Yanks have taken a 1-0 ALCS lead on the Angels with the kind of forceful, overpowering ball we used to see from the team in pin-stripes a while back.

Stifling pitching, solid defense, clutch hitting and Derek Jeter making the key hits and plays at short-stop. Sound like 1996? You bet.

And we could well see Joe Torre back in Yankee Stadium for a World Series. Yes, these are most certainly your Daddy's Yankees.

2009-10-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

QBCL Part 5

I have to admit, I hadn't followed the essential TD:INT stats as closely as usual during the Week 5 games, hence it was a very pleasant surprise to see the stats (as below) so positive in favour of the NFL (as opposed to the Quarterback Challenged League) this week.

There were the usual exceptions to the rule (Oakland - can it get much uglier there? - and the Cleveland-Buffalo 'game' - just TWO pass completions from Anderson? And Brady STILL can't get in the game??), but by and large, this was a terrific week for showcasing QB skills as opposed to the duffers we have seen all too often in recent years.

There were still some worrying trends if you dig below the surface - there are still fully 10 teams who could be looking at their signal caller and thinking 'Why?' - but this is definitely a step in the right direction. The low INT total and, with one exception (the beleaguered JaMarcus Russell, who coughed the ball up three times), a low fumble quotient, suggest it was a great week to be a QB.

The Figures:

41-19: another hugely impressive TD:INT ratio, following 41:22 and 39:25 in recent weeks. Successive 40-plus weeks is rarefied territory indeed, and we now have FOUR high-production TD weeks out of five (there were only five 40-plus weeks in the WHOLE of 2008). The INT quotient has also DROPPED with every week so far, from 35 in Week 1, to 28, 25, 22 and now 19. Only one week last year (Week 8) had a LOWER figure for INTs (17)

+22: The TD-INT differential is the BEST for two years (improving on even last season's high point, the +19 of Week 1). Impossible to argue with. Major victory for the signal-callers.

4: the games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (Dallas-Kansas, Houston-Arizona, New England-Denver, Jets-Miami). Right on the average figure, though.

15: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio (Seattle, Indianapolis, Giants, Kansas, New England, Miami, Denver, Pittsburgh, Philly, Washington, Atlanta, Houston, Arizona, Dallas, Jets), same as last week and below the season's best of 18, so again, just average.

14: multi-TD passing teams (Indianapolis, Giants, Kansas, Denver, Pittsburgh, Dallas, Tampa, Philly, Atlanta, Houston, Arizona, New England, Denver and Miami). Again, up on the last two weeks of 12 and 13.

6: teams that did not produce a passing TD. Another decent stat. Only Oakland (again), Cleveland (for the third time in 5 weeks), Buffalo, San Fran, Jacksonville and Tennessee (another worrying trend for the Titans) figured in this category. Up from 5 last week, but still tolerable (unless you are one that six!).

20-8: fumbles and fumbles lost by the various QBs. Still trying to get a handle on the over-under for this stat so far this season. The season low is 3 (Week 2) while we had fully 13 last week, so 8 may be fairly average. The turnover total of 27 is still pretty good, though.

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Last week we tabbed a season-high 9 (Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, St Louis, Tennessee, Seattle, Washington, Buffalo and Tampa), and this week we could be at 10. Only Seattle did anything to jump out of this category (in a hurry!), while Jacksonville (again) and San Fran made distinct moves in this direction. Detroit continue to hover on the verge, and Baltimore will need a lot more from Joe Flacco against Minnesota. This is starting to get a frighteningly high figure for QB futility, totally at odds with the other trends. But it is also indicative of the Terrible Ten in the Four Levels of Power. So what comes first: the terrible team or the dreadful QB? Answers on a postcard.....

2009-10-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 5

OK, it seems pretty clear who the creme de la creme are this week, hey? Just looking at the Fab Five unbeaten teams ought to be enough, you would think. However, the fact they have been feasting on the truly awful Terrible Ten (see this week's Conference) suggests there has been some padding of records going on.

It's still hard to back against the teams with '0' in the loss column, but rest assured they will be under closer scrutiny in the coming weeks. And, with that in mind, here are this week's NFL power rankings, based on the unique Four Levels of Power....

Champions League (the Best of the Best)

NY Giants (no change): playing the second string BEFORE the half-time break is surely in for a dig? But Oakland really were that wretched, and the Giants have now feasted on no less than FOUR of the 0-fer teams in their five wins. Nice schedule, if you can get it. I'd drop them down a spot or two, but all the others have been whupping members of the Terrible Ten, too!

New Orleans (no change): think Jeremy Shockey might be a little bit amped up this week to face his former team, no matter how often he denies it? (PS: Shockey - amp, geddit?!)

Indianapolis (no change): I remember when Tennessee used to have a D. Apparently not any more. Manning and Co pretty much did whatever they felt like in Memphis, hence I can't push them any higher, in all honesty.

Minnesota (no change): yet another of the Fab Five who were picking over the NFL bones. Beating sad sack St Louis is no cause for advancement. Next! Oh, Mr Lewis? Step this way, sir.....

Denver (promoted): is Kyle Orton a better prospect in this O than Jay Cutler? Let the arguments commence! What? They already have? OK then, let's start counting down to a Broncos-Bears Super Bowl.....

Premier League (The SB wannabes)

Chicago (no change): still 'bubbling under' while their bye week passed. See that team just ahead of you, Jay?

Pittsburgh (no change): Ben Roethlisberger is suddenly on course for a healthy place in this season's MVP debate. Now who is going to step up on the Steelers D to make up for their glaring loss? No, not Troy Polamalu but DE Aaron Smith. Without their No 1 run-stuffer and four of their next six against the run-machine offenses of Minnesota, Denver, Cincinnati and Baltimore, someone is going to have to fill an almight gap. Or Big Ben is going to have to become Peyton Manning, Drew Brees and Tom Brady combined.

Philadelphia (no change): yes, yes, it was only another one of the Terrible Ten but, when the Eagles can unleash another hitherto unseen weapon in the shape of Jeremy Maclin, they have to be knocking on the door. But will they remember they have a running game, though, against the tacklingly-challenged Raiders?

Atlanta (no change): having made light of the supposedly rejuvenated 49ers, the Falcons must now put paid to the Bears. I wonder if they will rack up 28 first downs again? Actually, strike that. I know they won't rack up anywhere near that many, and they won't have Dre' Bly to hand the ball back to them on turnovers, either. Time for Roddy White to show if this was a one-off Fantasy League bonanza or a return to a dismal personal trend.

Cincinnati (promoted): when anyone knocks off the Ravens, they deserve special attention. When they do it with sheer hard-nosed, no-nonsense muscle, they deserve additional scrutiny. So now the Bengals are on notice - do this again and we're going to look at you even more, okay? Their highwire act makes for compelling viewing, though, even if it's not sustainable over a 16-week season.

New England (relegated): was that really a Bill Belichick defence being spread all over the Mile High field on Sunday? Could be some serious cracks in the Patriots' armor, as the offense is hardly lighting it up right now either. Luckily for them, they now get Tennessee, Tampa, and then the bye week, to put things right. So, three weeks off, then.

Baltimore (relegated): likewise, the Ravens have a lot more questions than answers after a second successive head-scratcher. Being out-played by the Patriots (and the officials) is one thing; being out-bullied by Cincinnati is something completely different in John Harbaugh's experience. The trip to Minnesota could be make-or-break for a team with a few bruised egos and a refereeing persecution complex. The first flag that goes against them in the Metrodome could be the cue for a major mental meltdown from Lewis and Co.

San Diego (no change): the schizophrenic nature of this team will be firmly in the spotlight on Monday night. No ducking, no diving - we get to see if they are still contenders or merely pretenders.

Miami (promoted): Ronnie Brown's first major venture onto the season's MVP stage passed off pretty well. And Chad Henne just passed well. In his second career start, against the Jets on Oct 12, he was 20 of 26 for 241 yards and 2 TDs, and a passer rating of 130.4. Funnily enough, Dan Marino's second career start was a win against the Jets, on Oct 16 (1983). He was 17 of 30 for 225 yards and 3 TDs, and a passer rating of 113.9. So Rex Ryan's derisory comment in Henne's direction was actually quite a way off the mark. Henne was even BETTER than Marino!

Arizona (promoted): for 30 minutes, the grand, all-conquering team of last year's NFC post-season were back, flinging the ball around on offense and playing some pretty decent D. Then a different team came out after the break. Luckily for the Cards, one of their defensive stars showed up in the fourth quarter to pick off a pass and return it for the clinching TD. We wait to see which bunch turns up in Seattle on Sunday.

Dallas (no change): well, they won. That keeps the executioner's axe at bay for another two weeks, thanks to the bye. Other than that, there ain't a whole lot to keep the Cowboys faithful well, faithful.

NY Jets (no change): the odour of sour grapes hung thick in the Miami air last Monday night. But this is a team on the cusp - all talk and no walk right now. If they don't make mincemeat of the feeble Bills, they will be completely unmasked as the biggest frauds of the season to date.

Championship (the teams with everything to prove)

Seattle (no change): the most complete all-round display from the Seahawks in years, but we're still no nearer to knowing exactly what kind of team this is. And no, I'm not bitter just because I had Jacksonville kicker Josh Scobee in my Fantasy team last week!

Green Bay (no change): now we'll see how good a re-construction job they did in the bye week.

San Francisco (relegated): good job the 49ers get a week off, because Mike Singletary will need all that extra time to serve up the individual haranguings many of his players require after the miserable surrender against Atlanta.

Jacksonville (relegated): the yo-yo Jags are impossible to sum up just now; just 38 yards rushing? Ten first downs? barely 25 minutes of possession and 0 points? As 'punishment', they get to beat up on hopeless St Louis and Tennessee either side of the bye week. Perhaps they should ALL be down in the Conference and save me the trouble.

Houston (no change): somehow Matt Schaub's heroic failure to complete the comeback from 21-0 down at Arizona is perfectly apt for this franchise. So near, and yet...

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men - so many, so many...)

Carolina (no change): hold on, pardners - yes, it was a win, but did you SEE it? 198 total yards against 248, with another 7 fumbles and the inevitable Jake Delhomme INT. Both O-lines looked like they have more holes than the national debt and it was almost an embarrassment when one team fell over the finish line. Still, a win's a win, hey, and they can do it all again this week against the equally inept Bucs.

Cleveland (no change): see the above. Yes, it was a win, etc, etc. It was won courtesy of a muffed punt and a winning 'drive' that went all of 15 yards. Ugh.

Tennessee (relegated): hey, here's an improvement. Back in week 17 last season, the Titans second-string lost 23-0 to the Colts' second string. So the 31-9 defeat on Sunday night was an improvement of a kind, wasn't it, just 22 points this time? What do you mean first-string? What, Kerry Collins, Chris Johnson and all the D? Oh dear...that means the long, dizzying fall from grace is just about complete. Actually, the limp surrender to Indianapolis was the seventh straight 'L' for Tennessee, including their post-season failure to Baltimore last term. It wasn't so much the fact a once-proud D was taken to the cleaners by Manning but that they looked so clueless and punchless along the way. Manning put up 28 points by early in the third quarter and then pretty much took the rest of the game off with impunity. And now the Titans face an angry New England. Could be ugly. Ugli-er.

Washington (no change): if you've ever seen a balloon with a tiny puncture go down, slowly, feebly and without any resistance, it looks very much like this Redskins team right now.

Detroit (no change): still battling valiantly. Still losing.

Buffalo (relegated): the worst game of the season, no question. And the Bills lost it.

Tampa Bay (no change): Josh Johnson put in another big, brave effort but the Bucs were seriously out-manned against the Eagles. Hard to know if Raheem Morris' men can continue to absorb this kind of punishment for much longer without starting to mail it in.

Kansas City (no change): Chiefs secondary, stay behind after class and write out 100 times, "I must learn to tackle; I must learn to tackle." Miles Austin gained 119 yards on two catches, about 100 of which were after the catch and involved about 10 attempts at 'tackles.' And I use the word VERY loosely.

Oakland (no change): JaMarcus Russell has owned up to being "around" 275lb. At last, we've found what he's really good for! The Raiders can use him as an end. A bookend.

St Louis (no change): well, they DID get 10 points more than the previous week. And, if you added together ALL their points from the season so far, they would only have lost 44-34 to the Vikings.

2009-10-09T08:59:00.000-07:00

Hard To Swallow

Cardinals fans could be forgiven for thinking Matt Holliday could have chosen his words better after being guilty of the gaffe that cost them Game 2 of their NLDS with Los Angeles.

After allowing James Loney's routine fly ball to hit the ground and give the Dodgers 9th inning life when they were poised for a 2-1 defeat, the St Louis left fielder probably wouldn't care to consider the implications of his post-game comments:

''I didn't see the ball,'' Holliday said. ''Obviously, I can catch a ball that's hit right at me. It's very difficult to swallow."

Difficult to swallow? What, the catch or the defeat? Clearly the former, and certainly the latter!

If he had 'swallowed' the catch, like a good outfielder does 99.9% of the time, the series would now be 1-1 heading back to St Louis. Ouch.

2009-10-09T08:50:00.001-07:00

Don't Be In A Rush, Rams!

This may be stating the obvious, but the St Louis Rams would be well advised to think twice (or more) before they even consider allowing the odious Rush Limbaugh to be part of any ownership bid.

The idea of such a poisonous bigot being part of today's NFL is both risible and dangerous. After his ill-advised remarks about Donovan McNabb a few years ago, Limbaugh has continued on his merry, spiteful way, taking pot-shots at various targets with an African-American hue (not least the current president) and making it clear he has no real part in any civilized society.

Free speech, of course, means we tolerate all forms of opinion and thought, even from outright racists and other extremists. But the Rams (and NFL) should think very carefully on the message they would be sending the world (and their players) by allowing anyone with Limbaugh's low-brow views to be part of their sphere of influence.

You have to think that, given his way, St Louis could end up as the first all-white team in NFL history. Great example, hey?

2009-10-06T13:27:00.000-07:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 4

It's the quarter-way mark, and several teams look clear contenders (Giants, Saints, Indy), while others have yet to be seriously challenged (Broncos, Vikings) and some early-season shooting stars could be set to flame out (Jets, Dallas).

So where does all that leave the 32 teams in our signature Four Levels of Power (in this week's column with a Shakespeare theme - 2 references but nor prizes for spotting them):

Champions League (the genuine Super Bowl Contenders)

NY Giants (no change): are you watching, Plaxico Burress?

New Orleans (no change): the hint of a defensive backbone through weeks 1-3 has hardened into something strongly skeletal and uplifting. The foundation of a Super Bowl bid, perhaps?

Indianapolis (no change): Austin Collie? Pierre Garcon? How many more unknown wideouts can Peyton Manning turn into Pro Bowl contenders?

Minnesota (promoted): 7.34. That's all you need to know. The time, in seconds, Brett Favre had to find back-up tight end Jeff Dugan for a crucial 25-yard gain on 2nd and 10 en route to a 28-14 lead. If no-one is going to lay a finger on the old gun-slinger, there's certainly no reason why the Vikes won't be there at the end of the regular season.

New England (no change): Ravens, I share your pain of those ticky-tack penalties. Roughing the passer? Since when did a near-miss constitute unnecessary roughness? Unnecessary whiffness, perhaps. But you can trust Tom Brady to take advantage of any break that goes his way (tuck-rule, anyone?), and that he certainly did to right the Patriot ship.

Baltimore (no change): "I must not drop the ball when it hits my chest." Mark Clayton, take 100 lines and go to the bottom of the class.

Premier League (The talented hopefuls)

Chicago (no change): welcome to the season, Matt Forte, you've been sorely missed. Although whether another D will let you gain ground at 10 yards a pop is highly debatable.

Denver (no change): less smoke and mirrors, more grit and guile from a 3-4 D that is a genuine force to be reckoned with. If Kyle Orton stays in game manager mode, this team is playoff bound for sure.

Pittsburgh (no change): for three quarters, the Steeler juggernaut was back and rolling; for the final quarter, the wheels were wobbling badly once more. But again, an O-line largely kept their man clean and finished on the winning side. See the connection?

NY Jets (relegated): from Boy Wonder back to a plain ol' Dick Grayson, that was a mighty unmasking by the Saints. Mark Sanchez now needs to go back to school to learn to withstand some real NFL defenses.

Philadelphia (no change): at Donovan McNabb's first incompletion, what price the Philly faithful calling for Kevin Kolb to be reinstated?

San Francisco (no change): the 49ers' offense can stay on snooze control all the time their D looks like it has cloned their head coach and put 11 of them on the field.

Atlanta (no change): who dreamed up this little five-game schedule of horrors - at New England, at San Francisco, home to Chicago, at Dallas, at New Orleans. Even with the bye week after the Pats, this is a brutal workload and the Falcons will be doing incredibly well to be 3-4 at the end of it. A run of 4 out of 5 at home near the end won't be much consolation by then.

San Diego (no change): will the real Chargers please stand up. Was it the dormant doormats of three quarters at Pittsburgh or the rampant points-scoring machine of the fourth? The bye week is handy while they work it out.

Dallas (no change): Romo, Romo, wherefore art though, Romo? The Cowboys can't afford another no-show this week at Kansas, which is pretty much a win-or-else scenario for Wade Phillips and Co. Defeat there is unthinkable. Isn't it?

Jacksonville (promoted): eight different receivers, six different runners; suddenly the Jags assault comes from all directions. If only they could get as many fans involved.

Championship (the teams with it all to prove)

Houston (no change): when Matt Schaub goes just 11 of 22 for 224 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT and is still by FAR the best quarterback on show, you know you haven't achieved much. Let them do something similar at Arizona and promotion might be on the cards.

Green Bay (relegated): that truck arriving at Home Depot is from Lambeau Field where they hope to build some kind of protection around Aaron Rodgers.

Miami (no change): the Chad Henne era starts early in Miami. Good thing he can rely on the running game.

Cincinnati (no change): now come on; they were trailing the b-awful Browns. Need I say more?

Arizona (no change): that week off had better have included some reps for the running game. Just 189 yards through three games suggests they are not going to surprise anyone this year.

Seattle (no change): becoming the latest team to be dismantled by Peyton Manning is no disgrace; being outgained 78-49 on the ground is.

Tennessee (no change): Kerry Collins fans insist he is not the main problem for Jeff Fisher. But five TDs to 6 turnovers and a passer rating of 68.9 might suggest otherwise. All I'm saying is, Vince Young, keep warm.

Buffalo (no change): that Week 1 performance against the Pats now seems a LONG time ago.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men)

Washington (no change): you can't seriously expect me to promote them after they managed to beat Tampa by the skin of their teeth?

Carolina (relegated): a turnover-free week for the Panthers - yay! What do you mean 'Bye'?

Detroit (no change): a good half might be good enough in JV ball, but that will only get you severely whupped in the NFL. Try 27-3 when you don't turn up after the interval.

Tampa Bay (no change): brave effort, Josh Johnson. But you might want to bring some receivers with you next time. And a running back or two. On second thoughts, you might want to persuade the opposition to fumble the kick-off return more often. Having to go just 10 yards for a TD seems about the Bucs' limit right now.

Kansas City (no change): that $63million contract for Matt Cassel suddenly sits very heavily on the Chiefs' salary cap.

Cleveland (no change): hey, TWO touchdowns in one game - an embarrassment of riches for Eric Mangini. Mohamed Massaquoi could be the find of the season, though; 10 catches for 179 yards so far. Braylon who?

Oakland (no change): oh no, it's just too painful.

And our NEW Worst of the Worst is......

St Louis (no change): how do I not love thee; let me count the ways: 4 games, 2 shutouts, 24 points at 6 a game; 10 penalties against the 49ers for 79 yards; just 10 points scored by the 49ers' offense in a 35-0 Keystone Cops epic; a passer rating of barely 65; 0 rushing TDs to date; 34 catches TOTAL by wide receivers in 4 games. Need I go on? But hey, they DO get to play Detroit this season. What a ticket seller that will be......

2009-10-04T17:54:00.000-07:00

QBCL Part 4

After the Lord Mayor's Show. It didn't take long for the Week 4 participants in the Quarterback Challenged League (or the NFL, to their friends) to revert to type and make many of the games absolutely excruciating if you like to see decent QB play.

The stats were fairly ordinary, but digging between the surface made things a WHOLE lot worse. The two games I watched live were positively painful, and the more you looked, the worse things were for the various signal callers.

I started with Tampa at Washington, where the half-time score was an anaemic 10-0 to a fairly feeble Bucs offense, and the Redskins were lucky to have 0. Jason Campbell had done his best to put his team in a massive hole, going 5 of 12 for 60 yards and THREE turnovers in that first 30 minutes. Fortunately, the visitors were almost as incompetent on offense and struggled to cash in after needing to go all of 10 yards for their first (and only) TD, thanks to Campbell's fumble after his second sack in the first three plays.

Bucs' rookie quarterback Josh Johnson went 12 of 21 for just 98 yards and an INT the rest of the way and the longer the game went, the more inept both offenses seemed. Tampa's defense eventually cracked from spending most of the third quarter on the field, but Campbell still finished with just 12 of 22 for 170 yards, with 2 TDs and 3 INTs. But when you consider one of those two touchdowns came on a 59-yard Santana Moss catch-and-run play that should give the Bucs' defense nightmares, he was really just 11 of 21 for 111 apart from that. And four turnovers.

Then there was the fairly unedifying sight of Dallas at Denver, and another trip to the House of QB Horrors. On the face of it, there weren't TOO many scary moments for the two signal callers, but the number of passes that flew high, wide and far from handsome would have made even Ryan Leaf blanch (26 incompletions in all, plus another 8 dropbacks that ended in ugly sacks). Of course, the QBs had plenty of help in their offensive futility, with poor pass-catching, route-running, play-calling and blocking, but you got the feeling by the end (which, inevitably, ended with two Tony Romo incompletions) that it would be some major defensive failing rather than anything from the other side of the ball that would win it.

Such it was, with the Dallas D going AWOL while Brandon Marshall rambled 51 yards with a short pass from Kyle Orton before finally finding the end zone for the crucial score. Take away that defensive blemish and Orton would have been an ordinary 19 of 28 for 192 yards and 1 TD. Romo's final stats were also boosted by a short, final-drive pass that Sam Hurd somehow converted into a 53-yard gain. Without that, the increasingly beleaguered 7th-year pro was 24 of 41 for 203 yards. And those two costly turnovers.

Typically, December has been Romo's bete noir, his month of ultimate fallibility, but he is getting in an early Christmas season, with his last three games producing just 1 TD pass and 5 turnovers. Grisly stuff.

But there was worse on offer on Sunday. Buffalo and the NY Jets combined to go 1-6 for TDs-INTs. Cincinnati and Cleveland were alternately just plain bad or downright horrible while JaMarcus Russell continued to do his own Ryan Leaf impersonation for the clueless Raiders. And fans of Seattle, Kansas and St Louis are all wondering if we can skip 2009 and go straight to 2010, such is the embarrassment of their respective offenses.

But consider this one final damning fact before we get to the stats themselves. Of the 14 teams and 28 sets of QBs on offer in Week 4, only EIGHT got through their games without committing a turnover. That's right, fully 20 (or 71%) of those signal callers managed to turn the ball over at least once. Chicago and Jay Cutler were a notable exception, as were Miami (by limiting Chad Henne to low-risk throws), Denver (Kyle Orton, ditto), San Francisco (a modest 152 yards from Shane Hill against the self-destructing Rams), Pittsburgh (with Ben Roethlisberger and Co on a mission to put their season back on track), focused New Orleans, San Diego and Kansas City (where Matt Cassell managed to avoid a turnover despite fumbling THREE times and going just 15 of 32 for 127 yards and two TDs in garbage time).

Mark Sanchez was finally exposed for the rookie he is by the Saints and Detroit's offense fell apart in the second-half against Chicago. Tennessee proved they can't afford to get caught in a shootout and Buffalo disintegrated in Miami, of all places.

All in all, it was an ugly outing for the QBCL after two promising weeks. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

The Figures:

41-22: On the face of it, a VERY decent TD-INT ratio, following last week's 39-25. But see below.

+19: The TD-INT differential, looks impressive (where anything above 10 is good), and this stat doesn't lie (even though +9 came from the Pittsburgh-San Diego and Vikings-Packers shootouts). But the TNSQ will say this is a mirage this week.

5: the number of games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (amazingly, Seattle-Indianapolis, where Seneca Wallace also coughed up two fumbles; Giants-Kansas, but it was no consolation to the feeble Chiefs; Baltimore-New England, where the game was genuinely tough and competitive and both QBs stood tall; Pittsburgh-San Diego; and the Minnesota-Green Bay shootout). Slightly above this season's average of 4.

15: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio (Chicago, Cincinnati, Seattle, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Giants, Kansas, Baltimore, New England, Miami, Denver, San Fran, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Green Bay and Minnesota), down from 17 last week. Distinctly below average.

13: multi-TD passing teams (Chicago, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Giants, Kansas, Baltimore, Washington, Denver, San Fran, Pittsburgh, Minnesota and Green Bay). Slightly up on last week's 12, which was distinctly average.

5: teams that did not produce a passing TD. That's actually pretty good, the best stat of the week for the QBCL. Only Oakland and St Louis (naturally), plus the Jets, New Orleans and Dallas (freakishly) did not trouble the TD pass scorebook.

24-13: fumbles and fumbles lost by QBs. That's easily the highest figure of the season (after last week's 18-8) and makes for a total of 34 QB-generated turnovers in all. Terrible. There were also 10 defensive TDs this week, most of them attributable to QB failures of one kind or another, plus two safeties.

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. From eight last week (Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, Jacksonville, St Louis, Miami, Tennessee and Tampa), we could easily be up to 9. Jacksonville and Miami made decent strides (with David Garrard doing his best Peyton Manning impersonation) to get out of this category but Seattle, Washington and Buffalo all went into reverse to complete a dismal weekend. Dallas and the Jets will expect a LOT more of their men next week, too.

2009-10-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

QBCL Part 3

Another good week for the players of the Quarterback Challenged League (aka The NFL). That makes two out of three so far, which is impressive at the start of the season. Unless you are Oakland, Cleveland, Tampa, Carolina or Miami. Several teams with a reputation to defend, though, notably Tennessee, Arizona, Pittsburgh, Washington and Jacksonville. Their whole seasons could depend on better play from their signal callers.

The Figures:

39-25: Another very decent TD-INT ratio, following hot on the heels of last week's 48-28.

+14: The TD-INT differential, again excellent (where anything above +10 is good). So this is two straight weeks of double-digit prominence.

4: the number of games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (amazingly, Washington-Detroit, Green Bay, St Louis, Kansas-Philly and San Fran-Minnesota). Only average.

17: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio, down 1 from last week (Minnesota, Cincinnati, Green Bay, Houston, NY Jets, St Louis, Chicago, Baltimore, Denver, NY Giants, Indianapolis, Washington, Detroit, New England, Kansas, Philly, San Fran). STILL above average.

12: multi-TD passing games (Washington, Houston, Green Bay, St Louis, NY Giants, NY Jets, Kansas, Philly, San Fran, Minnesota, Chicago, Indianapolis). Not so good, a touch below average (Chicago and Indy accounted for 7 TDs between them).

9: teams that did not produce a passing TD. That's not a good figure (for QBs). New Orleans were an oddity, as were Dallas, San Diego and Atlanta, but the others (Cleveland, Jacksonville, Tampa, Oakland and Miami) all have BIG concerns at QB.

18-8: fumbles and fumbles lost by QBs; Starting to creep up again after 18-3 last week.

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Seven looked bad-to-terrible last week (Oakland, Cleveland, Carolina, Jacksonville, Detroit, Washington, St Louis) but both the Lions and Redskins showed big improvements statistically. That leaves 5 down among the dead men, but Miami and Tampa most emphatically replaced them, and Tennessee could easily be added, making an unhappy 8 in all. Dallas, Pittsburgh and Arizona all need their QBs to step up, too.

2009-10-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 3

OK, it's clear much of our pre-season knowledge was just so much smoke. Teams that SHOULD have been significant powers have largely failed to show up thus far (New England, Pittsburgh, Dallas), and some fringe teams have been positive revelations (step forward Denver, Baltimore and the Jets).

So that means a lot more frantic relegating and promoting in our signature Four Levels of Power:

Champions League (genuine Super Bowl material)

NY Giants (no change): another patsy, another stroll for the top dogs. Roll on Week 6 when we might see them stretched a bit.

New Orleans (no change): hard to work out what was stranger last week, the Saints' rediscovering a running game courtesy of Pierre Thomas or the complete eclipse of the player formerly known as T.O. But now it's the Jets and it is For Real v Phoney time.

Baltimore (no change): call out the Humane League! Sending this Ravens team to beat up on the truly woeful Browns borders on serious cruelty.

Indianapolis (no change): the TV schedulers may regret picking the Colts v Pats as their big game on Nov 15. Indy's trip to the Ravens the following week looms MUCH larger right now. What price both teams being 9-0 by then?

NY Jets (promoted): after firmly establishing their Champions League credentials, this is not the time for the Jets' secondary to fall apart. The loss of Sheppard and Strickland against the Mighty Brees could be critical.

New England (no change): grit, guts and something else beginning with G (gore? gravitas? Just don't mention Galloway) ensure the Pats continue to cling on to their exalted status. For now. A newly-buttressed run defense doesn't hurt, either.

Premier League (The true big game contenders)

Minnesota (no change): you HAVE to be kidding me. Just two seconds left and a finger-tip end zone catch for the win? By Greg Lewis? But consider this - if that desperation TD missile goes awry, the Vikes are an ordinary 2-1 and on shifting sands at home to The Pack.

San Diego (no change): that creaking sound from the West Coast emanates from the shoulders of Philip Rivers, who is being asked to carry the whole offensive load without a running game thus far. Some timely D also helps, but No Running Game @ Pittsburgh = No Win.

Dallas (no change): it's only Week 4 and Cowboys fans are already watching from behind their hands, hardly able to believe what they're seeing but still hoping for the best.

Green Bay (no change): OK, Ted Thompson, any rallying cry for your troops this week? Don't hold your breath, but the sound of gritted teeth in the Green Bay front office may be highly audible come game-time in Minnesota.

Chicago (no change): yes, yes, Cutler threw for a bunch of yards and touchdowns. But he needed to as the D gave up almost 400 yards to Seneca Wallace and Julius Jones (at 5.2 yards a pop in the case of the latter). Anything other than a dominant display against Detroit deserves dumping them down (and yes, I like the letter 'D').

Denver (promoted): it's like a mirage; blink, and they jump up a Level. Is this smoke and mirrors or signs of real Belichickian nous from the rookie head coach? Dallas, over to you.

Philadelphia (promoted): and thus the see-saw begins. Kevin Kolb gets the team to their Bye week with room to spare - and the chance to get a few bodies healthy again, notably the one called McNabb.

Pittsburgh (no change): can the loss of one player really destablize a whole team? That certainly seems to be the case with the Polamalu-less Steelers. "Shut the door. Shut the door." That has to be their mantra against the Chargers this week. If they fall to 1-3 and the Ravens roar to 4-0, seismic shocks won't be limited to the Pacific Ocean.

Atlanta (no change): the secret of keeping your balance when you are way on high is not to look down. The Falcons looked down at New England.

San Francisco (no change): they could play for the rest of the decade and not suffer anything else as stunning as that last-minute dagger at Minnesota. The 49ers' D had been stellar - until that final drive. Barely 250 yards of offense won't win many games, though.

Championship (the teams with it all to prove - and here's where the gap turns into a yawning chasm)

Cincinnati (no change): so here's the deal. If not for a freak, last-minute TD by Denver, the Bengals are 3-0. But, if not for a freak, last-minute meltdown by the Steelers' D, they are 1-2. Take your pick. Mine is that they are still some way from real progress.

Jacksonville (no change): out of chaos comes progress. And hope. Mike Sims-Walker, 12 catches, 187 yards and 1 TD in two starts. Oh, and welcome to the season, Maurice Jones-Drew.

Arizona (no change): it wasn't so much that their D was dismantled almost single-handed by Peyton Manning but that their offense managed just 10 points. At home. Against a banged-up Colts D. Could be a LONG season in Phoenix.

Buffalo (no change): the T.O. time-bomb keeps ticking. And ticking....

Houston (no change): so near to a memorable win, yet so far. I seem to remember the Texans had a running game once.

Seattle (no change): hard to know what to say about the Seahawks. All the parts seem to be in reasonable working order, yet the machine continues to mis-fire. Sounds like a coaching failure to me.

Tennessee (no change): six of seven and still sinking. Next stop, the Conference. Could get pretty crowded down there.

Miami (no change): if Ted Ginn is their premier receiver, there is a WHOLE lot wrong in south Florida.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men)

Carolina (relegated): oh oh, back to turnover city once more. Another three for the Jake Delhomme collection, making it nine in three games. Isn't there anyone else to try in Pantherville?

Washington (relegated): they LOST to Detroit? They scored just twice? They gave up 395 yards? Is there any question this is where they deserve to be?

Detroit (no change): "Yay, we got a win!" Now there are another 13 "L"s to play for.

Oakland (no change): it seems cruel to single out just one player in this multi-vehicle car wreck of a team, but JaMarcus Russell really is in danger of setting a Record of Futility for the ages: 31 of 75 for 378 yards in 3 games, with 1 TD and 4 INTs, for a passer rating of 39.8, worse even than his rookie season.

Tampa Bay (no change): are they this season's Lions?

Kansas City (no change): being torched by Kevin Kolb merely underlines the rebuilding job Todd Haley has on his hands.

St Louis (no change): well, they DID get two TDs (double the tally from their first two games). The Packers pretty much did what they wanted otherwise, though.

And our NEW Worst of the Worst is......

Cleveland (no change): I can almost repeat last week's story of woe: just one offensive TD now in the past NINE games. That's a truly stunning tally of incompetence.

2009-09-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

QBCL Part 2

Fans of Dallas, Detroit, Oakland, Miami, Kansas City, St Louis, Washington, Jacksonville and Cleveland might not believe it, but the various members of the Quarterback Challenged League (aka the NFL) had a superb outing in Week 2.

However, it remains to be seen if it really is a Brave New World for the likes of Cincinnati, Minnesota, Houston, Chicago, Denver, Buffalo and the Jets, or just the proverbial flash in the pan.

Others - notably San Francisco, Seattle, Tampa Bay and Tennessee - still sit on the cusp and could go either way in Week 3. But, for now, the stats say the QBCL had a bonanza week and could make the whole idea obsolete if this continues (yeah, right!).

The Figures:

48-28: The TD-INT ratio was the best we've seen for more than a year; 48 TDs was the highest since I started this feature more than two years ago.

+20: TD-INT differential excellent, and again the best since I started. Anything above +10 is good, so this is almost off the charts.

4: the number of games with BOTH QBs having a positive TD-INT ratio (Cincinnati-Green Bay, Houston-Tennessee, Arizona-Jacksonville and Tampa Bay Buffalo). Still barely average.

18: teams with a positive TD-INT ratio (Atlanta, Minnesota, Cincinnati, Green Bay, Houston, Tennessee, NY Jets, New Orleans, St Louis, Arizona, Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, Buffalo, Chicago, Baltimore, Denver, NY Giants, Indianapolis). Distinctly above average.

17: multi-TD passing games (Atlanta, Minnesota, Cincinnati, Houston, Tennessee, New Orleans, Philadelphia, Arizona, Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, Buffalo, Chicago, Baltimore, San Diego, NY Giants, Indianapolis). Pushing 20, which would also be impressive.

6: teams that did not produce a passing TD. Again, on the low side, so another positive.

18-3: fumbles and fumbles lost by QBs; VERY low for fumbles lost. Another triumph for the QBCL.

TNSQ: or Teams Not Set at Quarterback. After tabbing 8 last week, Cincinnati and Houston both moved out of this territory emphatically. But Oakland backed into it equally certainly (Ja Marcus Russell, 3 years in the league and he still looks like a rookie), and Miami and Kansas City veered alamingly toward it. There are warning signs for Philadelphia (without McNabb) and, surprisingly, Dallas. So this week's magic number is 7. Once more, a good indicator for the league. Now, on to Week 3.......!

2009-09-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 2

As I said on my Sky Sports column this week, this year's season so far comes straight out of the Twilight Zone - only weirder. In fact, you could characterize Week 2 by looking at the prime candidates from last week and insisting: They weren't who we thought they were!

Pittsburgh, New England, Green Bay and, to lesser extent, Dallas, all proved massively and shockingly fallible, leading to a fairly intense turnover in our weekly Four Levels of Power:

Champions League (genuine Super Bowl material)

NY Giants (no change): top spot falls to them by a combination of default (no other challenger is quite close enough) and Mario Manningham. THAT'S how strange this week has been.

New Orleans (no change): no, I don't really think they deserve to be this high (yet), but they keep piling up points like its a video game, so what are you going to do? And neither Reggie Bush nor Pierre Thomas have yet made much of a contribution. Getting 21 points off second-half turnovers didn't hurt them either, just in case anyone thinks the Saints can't play defense.

Baltimore (no change): Ray Lewis, meet Darren Sproles. Darren Sproles, meet the Qualcomm Stadium medical facility.

Indianapolis (promoted): if he can bag 27 points in just 15 minutes of possession, how many will Peyton Manning put up given an even 30 minutes or so? Answers on a postcard to: The Wildcat, c/o Miami Dolphins.

Pittsburgh (no change): grimly hanging on to the top echelon by their fingertips are the shocked Steelers. Not so much that they lost to Jay Cutler who had looked as if he couldn't hit the proverbial cow's derriere with a banjo the previous week, but that the Bears D was fully functional without Brian Urlacher. Odd doesn't even begin to describe it.

New England (no change): until Tom Brady proves himself a complete duffer, the Pats are still hanging around with the big boys. (But watch out, here come the Falcons.....)

Premier League (The true big game contenders)

Atlanta (no change): softly, softly, catchee Super Bowl.

NY Jets (no change): they might be wondering what they have to do to break into the Big Time hereabouts, but if they complete a Houston, New England, Tennessee trifecta, they need wonder no more.

San Diego (relegated): so they charge back into the game by throwing the ball all over the place and making the Ravens look fallible through the air, then they get to fourth-and-2 and they call a RUN? Let me know how that works out, will you?

Dallas (relegated): is it December all of a sudden? That can be the only explanation for Tony Romo and the Boys' D taking on their usual end-of-season personas.

Minnesota (no change): Cleveland AND Detroit? Was their schedule drawn up by the School Bully? At least we will find out if the 49ers are for real this week.

Green Bay (no change): it's been several years since Carson Palmer seriously out-dueled anyone. How bad does the Packers D feel this week?

San Francisco (promoted): okay, they are averaging barely 20 points a game, but Patrick Willis has 16 solo tackles in just two games. 49ers, thy barometer is named Minnesota.

Chicago (promoted): while the cat's away (the cat with the long hair that looks distinctly like Troy Polamalu), the Bears will play.

Championship (the teams with it all to prove)

Buffalo (no change): if T.O. ever catches everything thrown his way, the Bills are on Easy Street.

Philadelphia (relegated): first it was Andrews, then McNabb and now Westbrook and Jackson are hobbling. The only question for the Iggles is will they have anyone left on offense come December?

Arizona (no change): ah, the joys of playing in the Florida sun.

Houston (no change): the strong suspicion is that the Titans are rapidly on the wane. In which case, beating them doesn't look quite so good.

Seattle (relegated): if Seneca Wallace is now the answer, we all know the question - which way is down.

Tennessee (relegated): the Titans have now lost 5 of their last 6 dating back to December 14, 2008. That sinking feeling is not just in the economy.

Miami (no change): what price the Mild, er, I mean the Wildcat now? If they need 45 minutes' possession to score 23 points, it is a pretty toothless beast.

Denver (promoted): this team is 2-0? Are you sure?

Carolina (no change): the good news? Jake Delhomme only turned the ball over once. The bad news? He still mis-fired on almost 40% of his passes.

Washington (no change): when a 'W' feels likes a 'L,' there isn't much to thrill the fans.

Cincinnati (promoted): wow, where did THAT come from? And the Packers are still checking those mystery men in stripes.

Jacksonville (no change): but teetering on the edge of oblivion. And that's just their attendance figures.

Blue Square Conference (down among the dead men)

Oakland (no change): all you need to know is that JaMarcus Russell completed just 7 passes. And still won.

Tampa Bay (no change): giving up almost 34 points per game suggests Raheem Morris axed the wrong coordinator when he gave offensive guy Jeff Jagodzinski the boot in pre-season.

Kansas City (no change): losing to this Raiders team must make Chiefs fans yearn for the days of Herm Edwards.

Cleveland (no change): just one offensive TD now in the past 8 games. Something my not be right in the Browns' QB world.

St Louis (no change): a massive 7 points in two games. Ye gods.

Detroit (no change): still as bad as it gets, especially in the secondary. Kerry Byrne in Sports Illustrated had all the detail of just HOW horrible the Lions' D has been in the past three years. Read it here. It will make your hair stand on end. Seriously.

2009-09-18T08:48:00.000-07:00

(Return of) The QBCL

Of course, it HAD to be back, didn't it? The weekly look at the Quarterback Challenged League (otherwise known as the NFL) is an essential part of the regular season, but I'm going to keep things simpler this season, with just a consistent look at the stats-that-count (in my twisted, 'The-QBs-of-yesteryear-were-WAY-better-than-this' mind).

Here's the skinny.

42-35: That was the TD-INT ratio from Week 1. Pretty decent from the TD point of view, but alarmingly high from the inevitable INT debit. Only one week in 2008 was actually WORSE than that from the INT point of view, when there were 36 in Week 3. Not promising.

+7: TD-INT differential. That's only average; 10+ is good.

3: The number of games that had a positive TD-INT ratio from both QBs (Kansas-Baltimore, Dallas-Tampa, and Buffalo-New England). Pretty poor.

14: The teams that had a positive TD-INT ratio (Atlanta, KC, Baltimore, Philly, Denver, Minnesota, New Orleans, Dallas, Tampa, San Fran, Seattle, Green Bay, Buffalo, N England). Slightly less than average.

9: Multi-TD pass games (Miami, KC, Baltimore, Philly, New Orleans, Dallas, Seattle, Buffalo, N England). Slightly more than a quarter. Again, feeble.

6: Teams that did NOT produce a Passing TD. That's not too bad, as it happens (last year's range was 5-15).

16-7: Fumbles and Fumbles Lost by the various signal callers. That's also a low(ish) figure, so two half-decent marks in Week 1 (last year's high - 24).

TNSQ: This is the all-important QB assessment factor - Teams Not Set at Quarterback. Towards the end of last season there were fully 13 teams who looked truly horrible at QB, but at least to start this term there are 'only' 8 (giving Oakland and Chicago a pass, for now. They have to get better, don't they?). So, the teams TNSQ (on the evidence of Week 1, plus the tail-end of 2008)are: Carolina, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Houston, Jacksonville, Detroit, Washington, St Louis.

Until next week.....

2009-09-18T06:01:00.000-07:00

Four Levels of Power, Week 1

OK, maybe a week late, but here is the essential revival of the unique Four Levels of Power ranking system, which lists all 32 NFL teams in four different 'divisions' instead of the traditional 1-32 list. More fun, huh?!

The four levels are the Champions League (for the genuine Super Bowl contenders), the Premier League (for those just bubbling under), the Championship (for the pretenders rather than contenders) and the Blue Square Conference (for the absolute also-rans).

Having missed out on the pre-season rankings last week (the pressure of real work, you know!), you'll have to take my word for the fact this is how I had the teams lined up originally (being a bit generous with some of those in the Championship!):

Champions League: Pittsburgh, Dallas, New England, San Diego, NY Giants, New Orleans.

Premier League: Baltimore, Indianapolis, Philadelphia, Chicago, Houston, Washington, Green Bay, Seattle.

Championship: Tennessee, Carolina, Atlanta, Minnesota, Arizona, NY Jets, Buffalo, San Francisco, Jacksonville, Miami.

Blue Sq Conference: Denver, Cleveland, Tampa Bay, Kansas City, Oakland, St Louis, Cincinnati, Detroit.

So, with no further ado, here are the Week 1 Levels:

Champions League

Pittsburgh (no change): The offense still looked in pre-season mode. Fortunately, the D was as tough and ferocious as ever. The only question now is can the D hold down the fort until the cavalry, er Polamalu, returns?

NY Giants (no change): On the theory that defense wins championships, the Jints had plenty to spare in making the Redskins look distinctly less than ordinary. This week's trundle against the 'Boys will show which one is the real early season deal.

Dallas (no change): "Earth to Jumbotron - look out for stray missiles this Sunday night!" Actually, the question isn't who will be the best team, but which punter will be the first to prang Jerry Jones' LCD pride and joy.

New England (no change): Another offense in pre-season mode woke up just in time. The question here is how serious is Jerod Mayo's injury? Pats badly need Vrabel Jnr to shore up a D that looked highly suspect at times.

New Orleans (no change): You can't drop a team that just poured in 45 points, with six TDs from their QB (I might have to revise my pre-season forecast of 200TDs for Brees!). But giving up 27 points to Detroit - more than the Lions scored in ANY game last season? Yikes.

Baltimore (promoted): There was a distinct Twilight Zone feel to Week 1, which was heightened by the Ravens' O suddenly turning into the 2007 Patriots but their D looking like the 2007 Lions, and against Brodie Croyle? (gotta be careful with the ? quotient here, might run out before long)

San Diego (no change): I was mightily tempted to drop them down a level for that first 55 minutes against Oakland. Not so much Twilight Zone as X-Files. Fortunately, Agent Mulder, aka Phillip Rivers, showed up in the final reel.

Premier League

Green Bay (no change): "Can we play you every week?" That must be the plaintive refrain from the Packers D after giving the Monsters a distinct taste of their own medicine. The O-line will need to keep Aaron Rodgers upright more often, though, to make the jump to Light Speed.

Indianapolis (no change): Sorry, you'll need to do WAY better than that pre-season effort against the Jags to merit any progress here.

Philadelphia (no change): How can that not be a late hit? The runner has broken into the end zone, scored the touchdown, pushed past one would-be tackler and is lying prone on the ground when a 400lb deadweight falls on him from a great height. And now it's 'wait-and-see' in Philly as they gather a couple of hundred QBs around the ailing ribs of Donovan McNabb.

And here's where the gap grows larger.....

Atlanta (promoted): Mike Peterson, meet the NFC South. NFC South, be afraid - be very afraid. Seven tackles, one interception, one forced fumble. Nice start. Now, who's next - Jake Delhomme? Yum!

Seattle (no change): My 'wild card' pick to be the best of the West did me proud in Week 1. Now, can they look good against a real team?

NY Jets (promoted): Here's the real issue from Rex Ryan's head coaching debut. Are this team actually that good, or were the Texans the biggest frauds since Bernie Madoff. We'll find out in a hurry in The Meadowlands on Sunday as they have certainly grabbed a tiger by its tail with their pre-game comments about wanting to "embarrass" the Pats.

Minnesota (promoted): I know, I know. How can you overlook any team with Adrian Peterson on it? But the fact is, they had precious little to beat against Cleveland and it won't get any harder at Detroit. Their real level awaits in Week 4 and a certain Packer date for Brett Favre, aged 39¾.

Championship

San Francisco (no change): So near and yet, I'm not convinced that a squeaker over a Cardinals team also caught in pre-season mode (how many times will I write that this week?) is any real sign of burgeoning greatness. Twelve penalties for 82 yards? The 49ers won't get the benefit of that every week.

Washington (relegated): You could probably feed a small army on the omelette you'd get from the egg that the Redskins offense laid against the Jints. Here is a team ready to wear the label 'Frauds' unless Jason Campbell really shows something lurking beneath that blank exterior.

Tennessee (no change): They get a pass from Week 1. Playing the reigning champs in their own den is never a picnic. They will need Johnson and White to show up for the rest of the season, though.

Chicago (relegated): And people are surprised by Jay Cutler's propensity to throw INTs why, exactly? The bigger shock for Bears fans was that their D, ultimately, couldn't slow the Packers' fourth quarter charge in the slightest.

Houston (relegated): See Washington, only more so.

Buffalo (no change): Leodis McKevin, thy name is mud in upstate New York. Whether the Bills can shake off the feeling of being mugged in New England is possibly the biggest question of Week 2. The mental blow of seeing a hard-fought-for 'W' evaporating in front of their disbelieving faces will be tough to withstand.

Carolina (no change): Delhomme HAS to be better this week. Doesn't he?

Arizona (no change): So Kurt Warner gets a new $23million contract (with $19 guaranteed) and then goes out and plays like he's already counting the money. Alternatively, last year the Cards couldn't win on the East Coast, so perhaps this year they have decided the West is a No Win Zone.

Miami (no change): The Wildcat badly needs its claws re-sharpened if the Fish are to make any progress this season. Or has the 'real' Chad Pennington of 2007 Jets vintage just showed up?

Jacksonville (no change): They finished last year plummeting helplessly towards the Blue Square (another week and they'd definitely have been there!), so they are wasting no time in making a new bid to go South at great speed. Just one more 'L' gets them there.

Blue Square Conference

Denver (no change): Yes, they won. But they were one of the freakiest of freak plays away from a 7-6 loss. To the Bengals. Nuff said.

Oakland (no change): Back in the Twilight Zone (part 3,976). JaMarcus Russell out-dueling Phillip Rivers for most of the game? Really? Zach Miller catching everything thrown his way? The Raiders' D showing some Seymour-infused ferocity? Fortunately, reality was restored at the end, but Oakland may just have something going here. If Seymour can actually get a few practices under his belt, this may be a Baltimore-in-the-making (providing Russell can avoid those dumb INTs).

Kansas City (no change): Last year, the Chiefs topped 30 points three times, and lost two of them. Here is another high-scoring effort that goes to waste. Sounds like someone needs to D-construct in Kansas.

Tampa Bay (no change): They got a pretty decent game out of Byron Leftwich, and still lost. They have given up an average of 31 points in their last 5 outings. Back to the drawing board?

Cleveland (no change): Quinn? Anderson? What's the difference? This D isn't going to stop anyone and neither QB is good enough to put up 40 points every week.

Down among the deadest of men....(or The Usual Suspects)....

Cincinnati (no change): The good news is, they were just 11 seconds from a rare win. The bad news - they managed all of 7 points, and it took until the final minute of the game to manage that.

St Louis (no change): Could we have a real challenger to the Lions as the Worst of the Worst? The Rams certainly made a pretty decent stab at it against the Seahawks. Precious little on offense, and even less on D. Definitely the recipe for true Ungreatness.

Detroit (no change): After scoring 27 points, it would be easy to argue they are at least better than the pointless Rams. Not so fast. The Saints' porous D don't stop many, and New Orleans also scored whenever they felt like it. Kind of makes you think Adrian Peterson could be the next player to record six TDs.

2009-09-18T05:38:00.000-07:00

Back in the Sky Sports routine

OK, in a big effort to get the Blog back on track for the season, here is a quick look at the first two big Sky Sports columns for the season:

Week 1

Seven months of emptiness and Sunday solitude will finally come to an end this week. Ever since the confetti fluttered in Raymond James Stadium last February 1, we have hungered for more and anxiously anticipated the next chapter.

The last month of the pointless pre-season has only made things worse. ‘Where’s the beef?’ was a memorable Ad campaign for Wendy’s back in the 1980s. But it might equally be the new philosophy for NFL fans eager to get back to the hard-hitting action after all the hollow posturing of recent weeks.

(Okay, okay, I’m back on the anti pre-season bandwagon again, but there is a very real sense over here that something HAS to be done to cut back on the largely insignificant push-and-shove which it has become. In these times of credit crunches and financial meltdowns, the fans will no longer shell out for inferior product, and the league knows it)

So, when Pittsburgh walk out at Heinz Field to take on Tennessee (live on SS2 at 1am on Friday), that drooling sound you hear from this side of the Atlantic will be from the many millions salivating over the prospect of another season of glorious unpredictability.

It helps, of course, that the last time we saw the ‘real’ NFL (as opposed to the fake pre-season version – last reference, I promise!) we were left on the highest of highs by those Steelers in concluding an epic Super Bowl win over an Arizona team that also scaled those same gridiron heights only to come up agonisingly short.

But it is also the fact the playing field is so wide open that almost everywhere you look there are players and coaches polishing up their ‘One-game-at-a-time’ mentality in genuine anticipation of a run on Miami come next February.

The even better news is that, after weeks of waiting and wondering, UK NFL fans will also be getting their regular Sunday ‘fix’, starting this weekend with Brett Favre’s big comeback for Minnesota at Cleveland, followed by New York Giants v Washington (both live on SS3 from 6pm).

So, with no further ado, here is how those of us Over Here see things shaping up:

NFC East: It’s a heavyweight slugfest (as usual), with the Giants and Cowboys expected to be at the top of the heap come January, poised for a big post-season run. Whether the wideout-challenged ‘Jints’ can find enough offence to back up their stellar defence is the main question (along with how confused will Philadelphia be with Michael Vick somewhere in their backfield), which leaves me to think Dallas could sneak through as the cream of the crop here.

NFC North: Forget all the above. The REAL knock-down, drag-out battles this year will almost certainly come in this little hotbed of animosity and white-hot rivalry. The Packers have made big strides on defence; the Vikings have put all their eggs in the basket carried by the soon-to-be-40 Favre; and Chicago have Jay Cutler, who many pundits rate the most out-and-out talented quarterback in the league. Whoever survives this Group of Death will be in great shape for the playoffs, and I fancy the Bears to be that ‘last man standing’.

NFC South: While this may not be at quite the same level of intensity as their rivals to the East and North, there should still be a real neck-and-neck contest between Atlanta and New Orleans here (although some pundits still don’t fancy the Saints’ new-look defence to hold up their side of the bargain with the high-powered offence). The Falcons look to have a tougher schedule after their breakout year last season, which should leave the door ajar for Drew Brees and Co to go marching in. Carolina and Tampa Bay? Those of a sensitive disposition should look away for much of the year.

NFC West: Having written off Arizona at regular intervals in 2008 (until the Super Bowl, when they then let me down!), it would probably be foolish to start by saying their flashiest of flashes in the pan cannot be repeated. But there doesn’t seem to be much new for a defence that surrendered a league-high 36 touchdown passes last time out, while Kurt Warner’s ability to keep finding Larry Fitzgerald could also be called into question. Seattle are the team with most to gain, but San Francisco may also surprise a few in the NFC’s weakest division. My pick – a Seahawk revival (at least to the 1st round of the playoffs).

AFC East: Tom Brady is back! Tom Brady is back! The cry from New England can be heard loud and clear in this part of the NFL world, with Patriots fans expecting the Brady-to-Randy Moss connection to set scoreboards whirling in slot machine fashion once more. But no-one can be sure how a defence shorn of nearly all its veteran talent, from Mike Vrabel and Junior Seau to Rodney Harrison and most recently Richard Seymour, will stand up to a division where everyone has realistic title hopes (that’s stretching a point with Buffalo, but let’s cut them slack, okay?). But Brady IS back, you know, and it’s hard to see the Dolphins and Jets keeping up.

AFC North: Seismologists could be found in deepest confusion in and around Pittsburgh and Baltimore last year, where the three Steelers-Ravens contests all registered on the Richter Scale. And these two will again send shudders through the country’s spine when they collide twice in the space of four weeks late in the season. Most pick Ben Roethlisberger and Co to have the edge once more but don’t be surprised if Joe Flacco enjoys a scintillating sophomore season and turns the tables. Both are pre-season bound, though. Cleveland and Cincinnati? Study those first round Draft choices carefully.

AFC South: The smart pick for 09 is Houston, with a wide variety of pundits backing the Texans to maintain their progress from the final stages of last year, when they won five of their last six games. A defence that boasts non-stop linebacker DeMeco Ryans (expect to hear a LOT about him this season) is certainly going to be there or there abouts, while wideout Andre Johnson is firmly on the elevator to the NFL penthouse. But there is something about this offence that doesn’t convince me they can hold off both Indianapolis and Tennessee for the whole season. And Peyton Manning was still the guy under centre for the Colts the last time I looked, hence I can’t see them not finishing top of the pile here.

AFC West: If San Diego don’t win this division by the kind of distance that Usain Bolt currently wins races, there is something seriously wrong in Chargerville. Denver look like a major accident waiting to happen; Oakland are well set for their annual implosion; and Kansas City are already building for 2010. The Bolts should have all the pieces in place for a deep post-season run but a gruelling road schedule (including trips to Pittsburgh, the Giants, Dallas and Tennessee) could take its toll on a group that has been injury-prone in the recent past.

Play-offs: I expect Chicago and Dallas to be battling it out for the NFC Championship (with New Orleans as the potential ‘spoiler’ to that little scenario), with Tony Romo winning his head-to-head with the newly-anointed Cutler. It’s easy to see New England being the Beasts of the East once more, but Pittsburgh’s Defence v Tom Brady is a collision I’d happily pay big money to see. And I’d be majorly surprised if Brady doesn’t find the new Steel Curtain every bit as difficult to unpick as everyone else found last season.

So, a Pittsburgh v Dallas Super Bowl anyone? I know I’m pretty isolated with that kind of prediction among US pundits, but I just don’t see the Patriots, Chargers, Bears, Vikings, Texans or Colts being the class of XLIV.

But never mind the predictions, let’s just sit back and enjoy the show. Now, who’s got the popcorn…..?

Week 2

Where do you start? Just when you thought you had a firm grip on this fledgling season, something strange happened and it needed a complete do-over.

We had oddities at Pittsburgh, where the Steelers won despite Tennessee's better showing; at Baltimore, where Joe Flacco suddenly turned into Joe Montana; at Cleveland, where the Browns actually led a game for a while (before reality in the shape of Adrian Peterson smacked them in the face); at Indianapolis, where the Colts struggled to beat a very ordinary Jacksonville; and at Houston, where the Texans were exposed as major frauds and the Jets made an early claim for Surprise Team of the Year.

Then, at Cincinnati, Green Bay, Arizona, New England and Oakland things weren't so much odd as Area 51 weird.

Brandon Stokley's circus catch to beat the Bengals is likely to leave Marv Lewis' men with a bemused expression for the rest of the season, while Aaron Rodgers looked more like Brett Favre than Favre did in an a distinctly ordinary outing at Cleveland.

The Cardinals' Super Bowl run suddenly seemed a LONG time ago and Buffalo's Leodis McKelvin may NEVER recover from his fumble that gave Tom Brady the chance for a dramatic return to action for the Patriots.

San Diego's desperate performance against a fired-up Raiders outfit then put the tin lid on a week of wildly fluctuating fortunes and just plain crankiness.

Phillip Rivers being out-duelled for much of the game by JaMarcus Russell? Call for Mulder and Scully, 'cos we've gone deep into X-Files territory (or X-rated, if you're a Chargers follower).

Fans of Houston, Washington, Carolina, Miami, Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, St Louis and Cincinnati can all pretty much throw their lottery tickets away now, and Bills followers should all be looking around to see which of them drove over a black cat on the way to New England.

Sure, nobody stamped their ticket to Miami next February, but it was pretty astonishing to see so many teams look as if they couldn't find their way there with a map, a GPS system and a large neon signpost saying 'South Florida this way.'

Either week two will see an awful lot of improvements or (at least) eight head coaches are going to be looking for a new job before we get to the half-way stage.

So where does that all leave us as we look ahead to the second instalment of Ripley's Believe It Or Not (otherwise known as the NFL)?

Well, there is certainly plenty to anticipate in the two big Sky games on Sunday, starting with New Orleans at Philadelphia (live on SS3 from 5.30pm) and followed by Buffalo's attempt to develop selective amnesia at home to Tampa Bay.

In Eagles territory, the conversations will be going something like this:
"OK, so it looks like we've lost Donovan McNabb for a week or three with a broken rib - and, by the way, that WAS a dirty hit from Damione Lewis - but let's see Drew Brees throw for six touchdowns against OUR defence."

The Saints, meanwhile, will be thinking they have suddenly turned up in the Arena League (until someone reminds them that the Lions - with a rookie quarterback and no semblance of a running game - put 27 points on them at home).

The fact Jeremy Shockey has suddenly emerged from the gridiron Twilight Zone will give them a substantial edge, though, if McNabb is definitely reduced to a spectating role. Yes, the Eagles quarterback has played on a broken ankle in the past, but a busted rib can be a lot more limiting.

New Orleans definitely have the look of a team than can light up the scoreboard, so the real focus will be on the battle between the Saints' O-line and Philly's defensive front, and how well the former can keep that green avalanche off their quarterback's neck. (Additional memo from Jake Delhomme: don't throw any more balls near the Eagles secondary, those guys can CATCH).

In all seriousness, it is set up for a classic offence v defence clash, and the winner will certainly be able to feel good about their post-season prospects.

Then, looking at the first game this season in Ralph Wilson Stadium, it will be a psychiatrist's dream as Buffalo try to shake off the haunted look of a team that had absolutely sewn up a shock win at New England with little more than two minutes to go - only for them to fall victim to an absolute Brady mugging.

When a team had invested so much of themselves in an all-out team effort as the Bills did in Gillette Stadium, it can have a hugely debilitating effect on their sporting psyche to lose in such soul-destroying fashion, hence there will be intense focus on their mindset as they take on the Buccaneers.

The unfortunate McKelvin - he of the ill-advised kick-off return - would do well to do a Shockey (2008 version) and go missing for a while to allow his team and fans to recover from seeing a rare and elusive 'W' become just another Brady fourth-quarter comeback statistic.

But it is hard to see how the team - led on defence by the superb Aaron Schobel, surely destined for at least Pro Bowl recognition this season after missing the final 11 games last year - can shake off the bitter memory of giving their all and being SO close to their first win in New England in 12 games, only to see it all go up in smoke like a conjuror's illusion.

There are no illusions down in Tampa Bay that they are in for a tough season after they were given an emphatic spanking by the Cowboys but at least they had the benefit of being a clear second best and know their backs are already against the wall.

Poor old Buffalo may take a while to shake off the notion they lost a winning lottery ticket, but it certainly lends an extra dimension to their showdown with the Buccaneers. For, whoever is left with that sinking feeling once more on Sunday may find they end up plunging all the way to the bottom of this year's NFL heap and be left Lion around. Ouch.

2009-08-05T05:34:00.000-07:00

The Little Things That Players Do

I know, I know, I bang this drum far too often to be healthy but I honestly do believe that the positive things that many sportspeople do to help and inspire those around them tend to get lost in the headline-material negative events (which is one of the reasons I find the likes of Plaxico Burress, Terrell Owens, Manny Ramirez and Co so odious).

But there are still things worth highlighting, and football super-sage Peter King of Sports Illustrated continues to highlight them in his Monday Morning Quarterback column (and the Tuesday follow-up, too).

Just look at this email he received in response to his column this week (and try not to get a little teary-eyed at the thought):

THANK YOU SO MUCH. From Patrick Troyer of River Falls, Wisc.: "I love your columns and thank you for your great work. You point out the little or different things in your observations that make your work stand out. I was reading your piece on Ed Reed and the patience he displayed interacting with the fans. I loved it. It brought me back to the most memorable moment of my life. I am a Pittsburgh Steelers fan, have been since I was a small boy. I am 38 now and a single father of a beautiful 7 1/2-year-old daughter. She has had a thing for Ben Roethlisberger since she was 4. Well, last year I took her to her first Steelers game (only my 3rd), even though working two jobs didn't make it any easier to buy the tickets (thank goodness for the preseason).

"Well, she was excited to go and, of course, she had her Big Ben jersey on. We went into the stadium early and she would ask me every 20 minutes, "Daddy, where is Big Ben?" Well, after some time of watching him, he started running for the tunnels after his warmups. My daughter was down by the railing when he ran up and handed her the football. The look on her face when she looked at me was priceless. The look on my face was in disbelief. I cried like a little kid. There was nothing that could have ever happened to me with the Steelers that would have meant more than what had just happened. The two things I love the most having an interaction right there in front of my eyes. It brings me tears just writing this and being able to share it with someone.

"Out of the 150 Steeler fans crammed in that small area, he had picked her out before running to the tunnel. The little things that players do make the biggest difference. Ed Reed, Hines Ward giving footballs, the Lambeau Leap. All great things that live with people forever. Players like T.O. should take note on what it is all about. Ben now has two fans for life (though he didn't need to give us the football for that) and made my daughter a true life-long Steelers fan like her daddy.''

2009-06-29T08:43:00.000-07:00

Good News/Bad News?

There is a truism in journalism that 'Bad news sells.' And it is often used as an excuse in sports reporting to focus on the more salacious and 'newsworthy' stories of players who have gone off the rails, done something outrageous or otherwise fouled the pool of genuine sporting endeavour.

We hear it all the time. 'Oh, Plaxico Burress makes a better story because he shot himself in a nightclub. That's what people want to hear.'

But that is such a horrible, feeble, inexcusable cop-out in modern journalism. No , it isn't what people want to hear. They HATE to hear stories of self-obsessed stars trying to prove they don't have to follow society's values and laws. They ABHOR reports of the privileged few flouting their tendencies of excess and disdain in our faces. And they positive RECOIL against notions that the utterly irresponsible somehow deserve greater news coverage than the many (the majority) who do things the right way, and don't seek publicity to stroke their own egos.

Case in point - a story buried in the depths of the totally compelling Sports Illustrated this week featuring Pittsburgh Steelers star Troy Polamalu and his (largely unreported) work to help kids with life-threatening illnesses in hospital. It's worth highlighting (and reading) in full just to counter-balance the sleazy side of sport (Manny Ramirez, Alex Rodriguez, Donte Stallworth, Michael Vick and others).

Here is the full story by Sachin Shenolikar. My only complaint? It should have been given headline billing, not slipped among the 'sports shorts' of the magazine. We need MORE of this kind of story, not more of Burress and Co:

Heather Miller was being driven to the hospital for surgery on Jan. 26, but her thoughts were on a voice mail her mom, Wendy, had received three days earlier. Steelers safety Troy Polamalu said he had left something special at the Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh for his 10-year-old fan from Bedford, Pa. "The whole 2½-hour ride, instead of Heather dreading what was to come," Wendy says, "she was anxious about Troy's surprise."

When the family arrived, they found the jersey Polamalu had worn in the AFC Championship Game, autographed.

Polamalu met Heather—who is the guest editor of the July issue of SI Kids—last October, shortly after she was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma, a cancer of the bone. He stays in touch by texting, including one the day after the Steelers' Super Bowl win. "How about that, Heather? Hope we made you happy," it read.

Polamalu has developed similar relationships with half a dozen Children's Hospital patients and their families. He plays Rock Band or draws pictures with the kids and chats with their parents. "He spends hours here," says Mike Shulock, the child life specialist at the hospital. "I can't say enough about the impact he has."

You just KNOW there are plenty more stories like this. We just need - we WANT - to hear them.

2009-06-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Hindsight? Gotta love it

How I wish I could have a few columns back after writing them. This was my View from America piece for SkySports.com last week BEFORE the Suntrust Indy Challenge at Richmond turned into the greatest borefest in the recent history of motor-sport, a 160mph circular procession of such high tedium that even second-placed Dario Franchitti was forced to apologize to fans for the "awful, awful racing." Here's the awful, awful lack of foresight (made only slightly more palatable - or less so, you could argue - by the 'average roundabout' reference). "Greatest dogfight potential?" I hardly think so:

View from America

US-based British sports-writer Simon Veness highlights the renewed focus on Dario Franchitti in the increasingly dramatic IndyCar series

Jenson Button may be motorsport’s flavour of the month in Europe, but there’s no doubting who is enjoying the lion’s share of the high-octane spotlight here in the US.

Dario Franchitti may have been an afterthought in 2008 following his disastrous dabble with the closed-cockpit world of NASCAR racing, but he has forced his way back into the media’s attention in no uncertain terms in recent weeks.

And, ahead of the weekend’s big showdown in the Suntrust Indy Challenge at Richmond International Raceway (live on SS1 at 12.30am on Sunday), the Flying Scot is front and center for this unique race, which takes place on a circuit only marginally bigger than the average roundabout.

First off, viewers will have to get used to the tight, constricting confines of the shortest course used by any of the big racing leagues. RIR is dubbed ‘America’s Premier Short Track’ and fully deserves that soubriquet. Short? How about three-quarters of a mile (1.2km) from start to finish. The 20 cars will lap at around 166mph, meaning they will cover the full circuit in roughly 20 seconds. At three laps per minute, they could cover the 300-lap distance in just an hour and 40 minutes. And get very, very dizzy in the process.

Indeed, one of Franchitti’s first comments last week after winning the Iowa Corn Indy 250 (on the Iowa Speedway, which is all of seven-eighths of a mile!) was: “I am completely dizzy right now.”

So he had better be ready for an even more extreme experience Saturday night, especially as all races at Richmond are run under lights (and draw huge crowds as a result). It makes for an amazing spectacle, even if all the drivers do need to lie down in a dark room for a while afterwards while the world stops spinning around them.

But it is not the unusual nature of the racing that is uppermost in the media’s minds ahead of round eight of 17 in this year’s IndyCar series so much as Franchitti’s big comeback from the rubble and ruin of his 2008 campaign.

This time last year, the Bathgate racer was still hobbling from the effects of an inadvertent high-speed encounter with Larry Gunselman in a Nationwide Series event at Talladega (Franchitti was T-boned on the driver’s side by Gunselman’s Chevy at roughly 150mph and was fortunate to escape with ‘only’ a broken ankle).

He was preparing for the NASCAR event at New Hampshire Motor Speedway in Loudon, having endured the kind of season normally suffered only by the most distant also-rans of motorsport (in F1, think Force India, only worse). He had started just 10 races, failed to qualify in two and missed five with his ankle injury. His best finish was a meager 22nd, while his average placing was a miserable 34th.

Just a few days after his forgettable 38th-place at Loudon, his Chip Ganassi Racing team folded through lack of sponsorship, an early victim of the recession that continues to take large bites out of both the NASCAR and IndyCar circuits. And there Dario sat for the rest of the season, a frustrated spectator as – irony of ironies – Chip Ganassi Racing dominated the 2008 Indy series, with Kiwi Scott Dixon claiming the crown he had vacated at the end of the previous year.

Now, however, it is a completely different story as Franchitti basks on the afterglow of his second win of the season (his 10th on the Indy circuit) and sits just three points behind current series leader Ryan Briscoe. In the seven events so far, he has been out of the top 10 only once and he and Dixon have four wins between them for the Target Chip Ganassi team.

The smaller oval circuits haven’t been the happiest of hunting grounds for the Scotsman in the past (his NASCAR experience was definitely the nadir for the left-turn, left-turn, left-turn mentality), but he proved without doubt at Iowa last week there are absolutely no hang-ups from last year, hence most of the pundits make him the favourite for win No.3 this term.

He is certainly a distinctly happier and more easy-going driver than the one who looked a haunted figure at times with the good ol’ boys of the stock car series last season, and it would be another supreme irony if he was to finish in Victory Lane in such a bastion of the NASCAR world.

Of course, the REAL story of this year’s IndyCar series to date is the fact just 57 points separate the top six in the standings, meaning the championship is boiling up nicely (each race winner earns 50 points, while there are 2 bonus points for the driver who leads most laps and an additional point for the pole-sitter, hence every race has a potential 53-point turnaround).

Briscoe and Franchitti (241 and 239 points respectively), sit just ahead of Dixon (226) and Brazilian Indy 500 star Helio Castroneves (212), while swimsuit pin-up Danica Patrick is still a healthy fifth (189) and 2005 champion Dan Wheldon, the other Brit in the championship shake-up is sixth (184).

The next four in the standings – Brazilian Tony Kanaan, American duo Marco Andretti and Graham Rahal, and Japan’s Hideki Mutoh – have also shown themselves to be pretty competitive in recent races, so there are no foregone conclusions for a race that often throws up more than its fair share of surprises.

Seasoned Richmond watchers are quick to point out this ‘bull-ring’ style of racing is not for the faint-hearted, and, of the past seven winners, only one of those, Sam Hornish Jr, is not in the current top seven (mainly because he is trying to ‘do a Dario’ and crack the NASCAR world).

Franchitti himself won here in his championship year of 2007, Castroneves in 2005, Wheldon in ’04 and Dixon the year before that, while Kanaan is the reigning Suntrust title-holder (Hornish Jr won in both 2002 and ’06).

It therefore has arguably the greatest dogfight potential of the season so far. Throw in Patrick, who is increasingly desperate to chalk up a second career win and advance her end-of-year contract potential when her current deal with Andretti Green Racing is up, and you have the formula for some riveting TV.

With the Formula 1 world on a two-week hiatus (if that’s the right word when threats and counter-threats of a breakaway circuit are being thrown around like confetti at the world’s most profligate wedding), it could be the ideal time to tune in to an IndyCar revolution – and see if Super Dario can truly reign supreme.

2009-06-03T06:30:00.000-07:00

Stanley Cup Switch-Off

Here’s a suggestion for all Detroit Red Wings fans ahead of Thursday’s Game Four in the Stanley Cup Finals: Don’t watch. At all.

Turn off the TV, do some housework, take the dog for a walk or chat to the neighbors. But leave the viewing to those in Pennsylvania and the suits of the NHL.

I’m serious. As much as it seems like fan lunacy (as in, real fans support their team, come what may), it makes perfect sense.

First, it will send a message to the blinkered buffoons at league HQ that you can’t put a marquee event on a cable station most people have never heard of and maintain any kind of credibility.

The playoffs on Versus is like putting the Super Bowl on Comedy Central. It’s a joke of the unfunniest kind, pure and simple.

If the (already paltry) viewing figures for Game Three are followed up with a near-zero rating for Game Four, the NHL just might realise its standing with the fans, with the people who truly care about the sport, is dropping like a stone.

Second, it will raise a measurable protest at the way these playoffs have been (mis)handled almost from start to finish. Putting out officials who miss call after call (go back and review the Anaheim and Chicago series if you have any doubts) and then scheduling the first three games of the Finals in four days is the kind of slap-in-the-face arrogance that only the immensely successful or terminally dumb can pull off.

And third and most important, it will prevent Wings fans from the kind of angst and anguish they had to suffer on Tuesday night witnessing yet another display of officiating incompetence that absolutely cost them the game (see also Game Two against the Ducks and Game Three against the Blackhawks).

It certainly raises the question of how desperate the NHL must be to ensure their precious series survives to Saturday night and a second chance to breathe the much-needed air of exposure into the Finals on NBC (even if the network still insist on covering the event as if the only two players involved are called Malkin and Crosby).

It’s hard to suggest there was anything deliberate about a schedule that clearly penalizes the defending champs; about a league disciplinary process that waives its own procedure when it might have to suspend a star player (who just happens to be called either Malkin or Crosby); and about officials who refuse to recognize when one team has an extra man on the ice for half a minute (perhaps they were waiting for a seven, or even eight-man front?).

But fans can certainly be excused for detecting the nasty odour of suspicion about the way events are unfolding, most especially about how the only four people in the Mellon Arena who didn’t notice the Penguins’ six-man assault were the ones with the whistles.

So, the only way for Wings fans to make their feelings known at 8pm on Thursday is to leave the TV set blank, switched off, somnolent. You know it makes sense.

2009-05-31T06:44:00.000-07:00

Land of Hype and Glory

OK, what am I missing here? It is the Stanley Cup finals again, and it is Pittsburgh v Detroit, again. And the league and their TV cohorts are hyping up the presence of Sid Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. Again.

And the Red Wings are simply going out there, ignoring the hoopla, and winning, again.

Is it just me or is there something desperate and hollow about all the claims being made for the Penguins' not-so-dynamic duo? Last year they were flat out embarrassed. Sid 'The Kid' was made to look like a petulant teenager and the vaunted Russian might just as well have been back in his homeland for all the use he was.

But this time would be different, we were told. This time the undoubted skills of Crosby and the goal-scoring prowess of Malkin would really come to the fore and sweep all before them. The mighty Wings were there for the taking and the Penguins just had to show up for Crosby to claim his rightful crown and save the NHL's little self-defeating world (Finals coverage on Versus? Are you kidding me? Is this a real league or Mickey Mouseville?).

The league kept saying it and much of the media kept saying it (albeit not the handul of Detroit outlets, who have largely side-stepped the Pittsburgh fawn-fest). And, at times during the opening game, NBC would have had you convinced Crosby and Malkin were the only players involved, as virtually every bit of their coverage revolved around either 'Crosby-cam' or features with Malkin's parents.

What we actually saw last night was was that The Kid is still subject to fits of unseemly petulance (his swipe at a Wings player at the end of regulation was the stuff of pure teenage tantrums) and Malkin again disappears when the chips are down .

So, if there is no shift in momentum in tonight's Game Two, how much longer will we have to put up with NBC's love-in over these pesky Penguins? Or will they *gasp!* have to change tack and actually mention one or two Detroit players?

The league have already made themselves a laughing stock over their ridiculous scheduling (three games in four days - is this Little League?) and farming out coverage to cable stations most of the country have never heard of, let alone can see. Perhaps they should nudge their media 'partners' and let them know the Finals are actually a two-team event.

2009-05-31T06:41:00.001-07:00

What's Up, Junior? (Unedited version of SkySports.com View from America column May 27)

You’ll have to excuse me if I seem a bit distracted this week. It’s nothing to do with the let-down from Monday’s disappointing end to the Coca-Cola 600 or, really, anything wrong with NASCAR in general.

But, in the best traditions of View from America, my attention is being pulled in multiple directions at once, with some huge battles currently raging around the sports venues of the US.

Additionally, my sporting loyalties are also being tested to the full (yes, I know; journalists are supposed to maintain a professionally neutral position at all times and not profess to rooting for anyone in particular. It’s a good theory, but is also utterly impossible in practice as we all grow up supporting one team or another and develop additional allegiances along the way – me more than most!).

Consider this – with homes in both south-east Michigan and Orlando, it is impossible to ignore the march of the Detroit Red Wings (in the NHL) and Orlando Magic (the NBA) in compelling semi-final playoff series with Chicago and Cleveland respectively.

Ice hockey is the all-consuming passion in Detroit at this time of year (imagine the fervour of Welsh rugby combined with the unwavering zeal of Liverpool fans, then double it; not for nothing is the city dubbed Hockeytown) while the Magic are enjoying their best season for 14 years and a real renaissance in Central Florida. Both series have the air of do-or-die about them, hence they are commanding an almost nightly homage from Yours Truly.

Having spent time in both just recently, it is probably no great surprise that my focus for other sports is just a touch erratic and sidetracked.

Which is probably pretty much how Dale Earnhardt Jr must be feeling about now as he ponders a NASCAR season that is threatening to unravel fast and take America’s most popular stock car driver right out of the picture in a hurry.

This week’s rain-delayed event at the mammoth Lowe’s Motor Speedway in Concord, North Carolina (an amazing hotbed of motor-sports fanaticism, by the way), saw a distinctly disgruntled Junior trailing in 40th, a full two laps down on the leaders when the race was called off after 227 of the scheduled 400, to the benefit of first-time winner David Reutimann.

Now, for Sunday’s Dover 400 (live on SS1 at 7pm), the spotlight is firmly on Earnhardt and crew chief Tony Eury Jr as they try to shake off a run of three successive finishes outside the top 25 and no better than 20th in five out of the last six Sprint Cup outings.

There is not too much wrong with the Hendrick Motorsports team itself; Jeff Gordon leads the current Cup standings with 1722 points, Jimmie Johnson is poised in fourth just 128 points behind, and evergreen veteran Mark Martin is handily placed in 12th. Junior? Try looking down in an unlikely 19th spot, still 200 points off the all-important top 12.

No wonder team boss Rick Hendrick was in pensive mood on Tuesday at the sport’s latest ‘town hall’ meeting when the general public get the chance to quiz their heroes. “I can’t explain it,” he mused. “Basically, we’re the same, all four cars.”

And therein lies the rub for Earnhardt and Eury. One of them isn’t doing the job they are fairly well paid to do and Hendrick expects to find out who it is – and sort things out, sharpish.

The relationship between a driver and crew chief in NASCAR is a vital and almost umbilical one; the whole set-up of the car depends on the crew chief’s nous and know-how, their gut feeling for how a track is running and the stop-by-stop tinkering necessary to keep a car running at the head of the pack.

Each crew chief makes many of the all-important set-up calls and acts as the calming foil to the driver’s high-octane impulses. They are at once a nanny and an engineer. At the moment, Hendrick suspects he needs either a new nanny or a new driver. And he is utterly bemused as to which.

The two Juniors – Earnhardt and Eury – have a long-standing relationship going back almost 20 years to their previous ‘employment’ with the Dale Earnhardt Inc team. Eury is also Dale Junior’s cousin, and the driver has steadfastly defended his crew chief both last season, when they finished miserably, and this season, when they are increasingly in danger of needing a telescope to see their team-mates’ exhaust smoke.

For Hendrick, a change of some kind seems inevitable. Dale Junior was the free agent signing of the century when he jumped ship from DEI for the start of the 2008 season, bringing with him the biggest fan base in American sport.

Together with Johnson and Co, it seemed Hendrick Motorsports would sweep all before them in an unprecedented wave of NASCAR adulation and dominance. But, apart from Johnson winning his second successive crown, it simply hasn’t happened like that, and it has certainly been well short of the mark for Junior (and Junior).

Now, with their most high-profile driver acting like a literal fourth wheel in bringing up the rear of their all-conquering pack time and again, it is time for the boss-man to decide how he sorts out this conundrum.

No-one expects Hendrick to point the finger squarely at Junior and challenge him to raise his game. But, if he doesn’t change the crew chief, you can be sure he has figured the technical aspect of No 88’s continued struggles is NOT because of the supporting cast.

And, if he does demote Eury Jr, it puts the laserbeam focus of expectation on Earnhardt like never before. Because Hendrick Motorsports just isn’t a team that allows failure to last very long.

Hence Dover and the ‘Monster Mile’ take on a fairly monstrous significance for both Juniors this weekend. And we can all pull up the chair closer to the TV in anticipation of a great spectacle, whether it’s on the track or off it!

2009-05-27T07:56:00.000-07:00

View From America (edited version also on Sky Sports week of May 21)

You could be forgiven for being exhausted even before the famous phrase of "Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines" is uttered at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Sunday.

The amount of hype, hoopla and attention given to this annual rev-fest is almost as astonishing as the lead-up time - all 23 days of it - taken to go through the painfully long practice and qualifying procedure.

From the Rookie Orientation Program to the 10 days of official practice, four days of qualifying and another week of pre-race speculation and discussion, it is a mind-boggling array of different ways to look at 33 cars in Speedway, Indiana (and yes, that is, really, the genuine location name of the famous track - Speedway being a suburb of Indianapolis).

We had Pole Day and Bump Day (the first Saturday of qualifying, when pole position is decided, and the second Sunday, when the final gaggle of Indy hopefuls battle to bump each other out of the last few starting spots); we had drivers "on the bubble" and "under the gun" (final qualifier Alex Tagliani was sitting in his car ready for one last lap when the gun went off to end the second Sunday's time trials); and we had more pictures of Danica Patrick in a bikini and Helio Castroneves in court.

But then this is the largest single-day sporting event in the world, when the monstrous collection of 257,000 seats is supplemented by at least another 100,000 or so who pack into the infield.
Marathon build-up

Thankfully, the US media doesn't allow us to forget these kinds of details, hence the marathon build-up just to get to start line of The Brickyard for the 93rd running of the Indy 500, live on Sky Sports 3 from 6pm.

The massive spread of coverage has also given rise to almost as many different headline stories this week, once Tagliani was confirmed as the 33rd and final entry for this year's race (being given the drive ahead of team-mate Bruno Junqueira in a frantic finish to Sunday's qualifying).

Sports Illustrated pin-up girl Patrick is predictably top of the poppets with many outlets, on the equal basis that she looks much better in a swimsuit than any other driver and is also overdue to do something special this year, having burst on to the scene with a fourth place finish in her rookie year in 2005.

Brazilian star Castroneves is equally headline material following his recent run-in with the Florida courts that ended with him firmly in Victory Lane after allegations of tax evasion were met with a 'Not Guilty' verdict from the jury.

Ever since, the Penske Racing ace has driven like a man possessed (or, at least, a man dispossessed of the notion of a spell inside), finishing seventh with virtually no practice at Long Beach, second at Kansas and then snagging pole position for Sunday's outing.

He has two previous Indy wins, during his first two years in 2001 and 2002 but, while several pundits fancy him to improve on his Kansas showing, both his previous two outings as pole-sitter ended no higher than second.

Some focus has also fallen on Antoine Rizkallah Kanaan Filho (otherwise known as Tony Kanaan - you gotta love those Brazilian monikers; not quite Edson Arantes do Nascimento - that's Pele to you and me - but a real contender).

The current IndyCar Series leader has yet to finish higher than third so far this season but his consistency deserves the respect he is re-earning after several years in the comparative doldrums following his title-winning effort of 2004.

There are no less than five Brazilians in the line-up this time, which means there is a high possibility the race announcer will tie his tongue in knots before the finish. But the presence in Sunday's outing of a British quintet has also garnered some coverage, too.

Dario Franchitti, the Flying Scot, has already put one Indy 500 trophy on his mantelpiece (in 2007), as has Dan Wheldon (2005).

Both are genuine contenders again this year, but Alex Lloyd (starting 11th), Justin Wilson (15th) and rookie Conway (27th) will all have hopes of giving the Union Jack a bit of a flutter (Wheldon started 16th the year he went onto win, so the front six rows can all harbour realistic hopes).

In fact, Lloyd is on red alert for both the race itself and the imminent arrival of his second child, as wife Samantha is almost nine months pregnant and they have contingency plans to visit the infield medical centre if necessary - although not during the 500-mile event.

As if to prove the media here really don't know which way to turn for the main story, you have to dig hard to find much about the defending champ, Australian Scott Dixon, and even then it is only to discover he considers himself the "underdog" in the face of the kaleidoscopic focus on Danica, Helio, Tony, Dario and even Alex Tagliani.

Poor Scott made a less-than stellar start to the season before bursting back into dramatic life at Kansas, where the win was enough to lift him up to fourth place in the standings.

The real 'forgotten man' in all the welter of Indy 500 coverage, though, is Ryan Briscoe, the 'other' Aussie in the line-up and the current second-placed driver in the standings.

The modest 27-year-old is currently in the shadows cast by team-mate Castroneves but has been arguably the most consistent racer in the past 12 months with three wins, including at Kansas last time out.

He also qualified just fractions of a second behind his fellow Penske driver, so no-one should be under any illusions Briscoe is perfectly capable of improving on his previous IMS best of fifth and even of taking the chequered flag.

In many ways, though, the 'story' of the Indy 500 is also one of the coverage itself. The near-month-long build-up will finally give way to a five-hour extravaganza on ABC TV, starting at midday US time, providing the 45th successive year of ABC's relationship with the epic race (the second-longest in American TV history).

They will utilise a staggering 59 cameras, including multiple, rotating 360-degree mini-cams on many of the cars themselves. High tech at high speed - and then some!

ESPN Classic will also air a stunning 10-hour grand medley of previous Indy highlights on the Saturday, just to get viewers "in the mood".

So you'll have to forgive us if we all seem a bit jaded on this side of the pond next Monday morning. It will be nothing to so with the six billion hot-dogs and two gazillion tons of chips that will be consumed during the race.

No, we will simply be all screened out after our Indy TV-athon. And probably still trying to work out if Danica is a swimsuit model who can drive or just a model driver.

2009-05-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

Edited version on SkySports.com's View From America May 13

Wembley is suddenly all the rage. For one regular season game; possibly two in 2010 and then the Super Bowl in 2014 (or maybe 2015, or….).

If you read some of the reports being generated over here recently (and which, by all accounts, have also echoed mightily in Her Majesty’s Press, too), you’d think there was a little-known NFC East of East division centred on North-West London; one that out-sells every existing NFL franchise and which has more fans than New York and Dallas put together.

The appetite for gridiron in Great Britain is off the charts. And that’s just according to the US media. Even usually sane and sober journalists have been moved to concede that “London does a heck of a job in promoting the NFL.”

Well, yes, it can stage the occasional game at the country’s showpiece stadium without falling flat on its face and embarrassing the three million or so people who live in the general area.

And, yes, there is a distinct appetite for the game that the NFL has tried hard to export since the first American Bowl showed up at the original Wembley Stadium back in 1986.

But hold on, folks, before anyone gets carried away with the idea that the Jubilee Line could be the route to a Super Bowl extravaganza the likes of which is usually only seen in Florida, California and, occasionally, more esoteric locations like Detroit, let’s consider the facts.

The latest pronouncement of Commissioner Roger Goodell makes it seem almost like a foregone conclusion.

"The fan reaction we've had in London has been extraordinary. We would like to feed that passion," he insisted this week. "We have a great fan base in the UK. There have been discussions of taking the second game and playing it in another market in the UK. That's something that we'll evaluate."

Really? TWO games a season in the UK? And then they HAVE to give London a Super Bowl, don’t they?

Bad News

First of all, this would be seriously bad news to Germany, Canada and Mexico, all of whom have been led to believe they are next in line once the NFL does decide to take a second regular season home game away from its normal venue.

Secondly, where else in the UK can hold 80,000 fans and the kind of infrastructure to deal with two football teams that demand the highest level of practice and support facilities? Manchester and Cardiff spring to mind (both could take 70,000 for gridiron) in stadium terms, but how would the Welsh city provide the kind of training back-up for two 53-player teams?

And can you imagine Alex Ferguson allowing the pads-and-helmet brigade to trundle up and down his sacred turf? In the middle of the season? You just can’t see it, can you (actually, you’d love to be in the room when the idea was even raised within Fergie’s earshot. Hair-dryer? More like a bloomin’ flame-thrower!).

Perhaps mindful of this limitation, the Commish went on to suggest a second game could also be played in London, making it a more solid outpost of the league’s globalisation bid. Why not, when the capital already does a good job with one fixture? Logical move, you would think (and another significant stepping stone towards Wembley having its own full-time franchise, perhaps?).

Except that, despite the headline success of the two games in London so far (2007 and 208), there is a groundswell of opposition that doesn’t get much attention – at the moment. Dig through the quotes, back-stories and ‘unofficial’ comments of the teams last year, and you quickly find a measure of displeasure with the whole idea, players and coaches slamming the travel arrangements, the Wembley turf and the whole idea of losing a precious home game.

With one game a year, it is easy to keep the negatives to a minimum and gloss over the murmurs of discontent. Give them two games to grouse about it, and you will definitely hear the chorus of disapproval at a whole new level.

The other factor to bear in mind is that the Commish is NOT the final arbiter of these things. He can propose all the ideas and schemes that he wants but they all, ultimately, have to go to a vote of the owners, and it is that fairly conservative bunch who will decide if these initiatives have any legs at all.

Then of course, there is the suggestion (not, in this instance, from Goodell himself) that London could even stage the Super Bowl, perhaps as early as 2014, but certainly by 2020.

The genuinely astonishing thing is how many pundits over here have pronounced it a “bloody good idea” (a direct quote from the San Diego Union Tribune).

Plain Stupid

No it isn’t. It’s a bloody STUPID idea. London, in early February? When it’s barely 6°C? When a single snowflake can bring the whole rail system to a halt and freeze sports field for hundreds of miles? Where there are no major indoor training venues? And where it would cost fans an arm and several other limbs for a hotel for a few nights (always assuming the football followers of, say, Pittsburgh and Chicago could afford the flight over)?

And, in the absence of the 70,000 or so that Wembley would need to provide the necessary partisan atmosphere (as opposed to 70,000 fans just keen to enjoy a real NFL game), how will it play when thousands turn up in Miami Dolphins jerseys?

Add in the fact that a Super Bowl is actually as much about the week-long hype and hoopla prior as the game itself, then try to imagine a congested, February-time London staging the kind of smoothly-organised fan-friendly activities that attract thousands of fans irrespective of whether they have a ticket or not. It isn’t a pleasant picture to run through your mind’s eye.

That’s not to say London isn’t worthy of its annual NFL ‘prize’ or that it doesn’t do a great job of that one-off event. But the teams are there for only a few days; there is no week-long media frenzy; and the participants can grudgingly see the benefit of taking one game a year abroad. Take the game’s Crown Jewel out of America and it’s a whole new ball game, quite literally.

But then none of these US sources currently insisting it is somehow in the NFL’s best interests have ever been to London in the winter, when public transport can be reduced to Stone Age efficiency, the average shower lasts 6 days and the sun doesn’t shine for a month. Let them spend a week in Wembley in February and we might hear a VERY different tune from these ill-guided sports-writing minstrels!

2009-04-28T04:34:00.000-07:00

March of the Meatheads

It's April, so that must mean the hockey thugs are out in force once more; namely the meatheads masquerading as the Anaheim Ducks.

For the last two years, the same team have bullied and battered their way into the playoffs and then left a nasty odour over the Stanley Cup playoffs with their brand of 'hockey.' In 2007 it worked all the way to a Finals victory; last year Dallas managed to trip them up early.

Now they are on the march again after a fight-fuelled series 'victory' over San Jose that leaves hockey proponents struggling to defend their sport as anything other than an excuse for a jolly good punch-up.

If the NHL is ever to dig itself out from the bottom of the major sporting heap (and fight off the potential challenge of MLS and other 'minor' sports), they simply cannot allow these stick-carrying storm-troopers to dominate another Cup series.

Hockey will simply be derided by most commentators and left to wallow in its own goon-infested waters with an ever-decreasing audience.

2009-04-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

View From America (edited version also posted on SkySports.com 04/22/09)

“It's an intense poker game, and no one's showing their hand.”

Those are the words of University of Southern California quarterback Mark Sanchez, and he’s not talking about a game of cards. He’s referring to the amazingly tight-lipped advance period to this year’s NFL Draft, which will finally reveal all its secrets this weekend.

Normally, you can count on several teams tipping their hand in some way to indicate which way they will go once they are officially ‘on the clock’ for their pick in the annual selection of the cream of the college football talent (a situation so alien to British sport it would positively boggle the mind of the average soccer manager).

And, once it is known who some of the early choices will be, and where they will go, much of the Draft falls into place like a row of toppling dominoes.

But not this year. And there are two (at least) reasons for that.

Firstly, there is no clear, consensus No 1 pick. Georgia quarterback Matt Stafford is top (Bull)dog for some, but others do not rate him even the best QB available this year, leaning towards USC’s Sanchez or even Josh Freeman of Kansas State.

For others, it is a question of the ‘safe’ choice, like Baylor offensive lineman Jason Smith or even Wake Forest’s superb standout linebacker Aaron Curry.

(In this instance, ‘safe’ merely means backing the horse with the less likelihood of being a $70million bust, which leads on to Point Two……)

Secondly, there is now SO much money tied up in the top picks, some teams consider it a bit of an albatross, something to be avoided lest they end up forking out a king’s ransom (plus a prince’s wages and queen’s allowance) for a player like Ryan Leaf, who famously bombed at San Diego after the 1998 Draft, or the anonymous Heath Shuler, a No 3 selection by Washington who failed with both the Redskins and New Orleans and was out of the league within five years.

The bottom line is, for every Peyton Manning or Troy Aikman there are five Tim Couches or David Carrs, players who are destined to be career bench-warmers rather than guaranteed starters – franchise killers, if you like.

When you consider Miami signed last year’s No 1, lineman Jake Long, to a five-year, $57.5million contract, it is the stuff of a general manager’s nightmares to plough that much guaranteed money into ANY college draftee, no matter how star-studded he may appear prior to joining the pro ranks.

Basically, you are asking the team with the top pick to splash out at least $11million a year on someone who just might end up being a washed out drug addict.

(OK, that may be a touch extreme; it’s been a while – some 18 years, in fact – since Todd Marinovich proved to be almost the ultimate bust with the Raiders, but the specter of that kind of horrendous mistake, or that of the steroid-fuelled Tony Mandarich at Green Bay in 1989, still lingers in the NFL air like the whiff of another bad government bailout)

The other ‘wild card’ in this year’s game of bluff and counter-bluff (and the Draft has very much become a game of steely-eyed subterfuge as the leading teams try to mask their intentions in order to position themselves to snap up a ‘bargain’) is that hapless Detroit have the weighty responsibility for that opening gambit.

As a result of not winning a game since December 23, 2007 (actually, the toothless Lions have won only ONE of their last 24 outings), the 0-16 record-breakers get to go first on Saturday. And, depending on who you listen to, they may be the most reluctant suitors since someone announced Lucrezia Borgia was looking for a new husband.

Just to start with, Detroit have a truly terrible recent history in the Draft. The likes of Joey Harrington (picked No 3 in 2002, and now a distant No 3 on the depth chart at New Orleans), Mike Williams (a No 10 in 2005, now absolutely nowhere) and the epically-named Ikaika Alma-Francis (a defensive end from the 2007 second round who has managed precisely two starts) have all helped heap embarrassment after embarrassment on the Lions.

Happily, at least, the man most responsible for their recent history of Draft futility (88 picks since 2000, barely 20 still on the roster; four first-round wide receivers, of whom only Calvin Johnson remains; 12 defensive linemen, and only four survivors, none of whom are considered starters), ex-general manager Matt Millen, is now out of the game.

But the thorny problem of how you rebuild a team as bad as this, even with two first-round choices and two third-rounders, remains another millstone around their collective necks.

The fans have already stated their preference for Curry (at a fan event to unveil the team’s new uniforms on Monday, they chanted the name of the Demon Deacons outside linebacker, along with cries of ‘Don’t draft Stafford!’ – talk about getting your boos in early!) and he would certainly come with a (slightly) smaller price-tag than the Georgia quarterback.

Many pundits still believe the Lions would be only too happy to trade the top pick for something more manageable and less high-risk (like, presumably, buying some of the government’s toxic bank debts), so don’t rule out some serious Draft-day machinations behind the scenes.

The rest of the Day One process at New York’s Radio City Music Hall should fall into place depending on what happens with that fateful No 1, so viewers should pay special attention to the first half-hour or so (each team has 10 minutes for their choice in Round One, remember).

Curry, Texas Tech wideout Michael Crabtree, Baylor’s Smith, Texas D-lineman Brian Orakpo and Virginia’s standout O-lineman Eugene Monroe are the Fancied Five on ESPN’s Scout’s Inc (one of the most accurate pre-Draft predictors in recent years), so Stafford may well be one of the biggest losers when push comes to shove.

But it is a brave (or truly poker-faced) man who goes out on a limb just at the moment. I do know it will be riveting TV as the teams try to fathom the labyrinthine options that unfold on the day while the players in the spotlight sweat over their future prospects.

Expect New England to pull the trigger on various trades and switches (the Patriots have no less than 11 selections this weekend, including four in the first 58) and Pat White to be one of the most intriguing possibilities, as the Virginia quarterback is also fancied as a receiver/runner in a Wildcat-type option scheme which many see as the next big ‘wave of the future.’

Just don’t expect much to happen according to a set scheme, as this year’s Draft truly has the scope to be one of the wildest in recent years.

2009-04-02T18:01:00.000-07:00

View from America

I know what day it was this week, but did we really have to have a series of stories that made you go ‘Huh?’ Yes it is the close season – the silly season, if you prefer – yet that’s no reason to ensure every report seemed to have a touch of All Fools Day about it.

But then much of the news emanating from the NFL this week – and the American media’s coverage of it – is likely to leave you shaking your head in astonishment, sadness or depression. Or all three at the same time.

It was almost like a parade of the bizarre as we had a cavalcade of gridiron hubris and debris, starting with Ryan Moats, continuing with Michael Vick and Plaxico Burress, then concluding with Cutler and, most head-shakingly of all, Donte Stallworth.

First there was Houston running back Moats and his wife being detained at gunpoint by a super-officious police officer in a hospital car park while his wife’s mother lay dying inside the hospital.

This was one the media could REALLY get their teeth into and it quickly became a major circus, with the Moats family maintaining a dignified stance while the news folks whipped themselves into a state of near hysteria over the officer responsible.

Sad, unfortunate and very avoidable. But that was just the appetiser for what we had in the next several days as the newshounds scented more heavyweight fare.

The long-running case of Vick re-surfaced with reports that the disgraced Atlanta quarterback has agreed to repay some $6.5million of bonus money on the understanding the Falcons will be happy to cut their ties with their former franchise star.

Happy? Delirious would be more like it. While Vick will be hoping another team is desperate enough to take a chance on the Georgia jailbird. Many are still trying to get their heads around the fact the ex-Virginia Tech passer is a declared bankrupt and yet still appears to have millions squirreled away somewhere in order to try to buy his way back into the league.

But that head-scratcher almost paled into insignificance compared with the latest word on New York Giants receiver Burress, still facing two counts of second-degree criminal possession of a weapon, who managed to get his case adjourned until June while he fights to get $1million back from his team.

The Giants refused to pay the final instalment on his $4.5m bonus due in December, reasoning that the fact Burress had shot himself in the leg and earned a four-game ban, not to mention a date in front of a New York judge, was conduct liable to bring the terms of his contract into dispute. This one is also going to ‘overtime’ at the University of Pennsylvania Law School in Philadelphia (not a happy hunting ground for the Giants, you would think), with another delayed decision at the behest of the NFL Players Association.

Possibly the most curious note, though, was that struck by the New York Times, who reported Burress’ lawyer Benjamin Brafman was “trying to resolve the gun possession charges against his client.” And there we were thinking that was the court’s job.

Brafman, apparently, is hoping for a plea agreement that would help Burress avoid the 3½-year minimum sentence which the charges carry. Good luck with that in the land of Mayor Michael ‘No guns in MY city’ Bloomberg, by the way. Which all leaves Giants head coach Tom Coughlin looking on in complete mystification. No wonder he said this week: “You have to have thought it out.” Which he clearly has. And isn’t touching that one with a 10-foot barge pole just now.

Then came the latest fracas involving Denver’s wantaway quarterback. Having thrown all his toys out of the pram and sulked in the corner for 10 days (the length of time, apparently, over which he refused to return phone calls from Broncos owner Pat Bowlen and coach Josh McDaniels), Cutler has officially outstayed his welcome with the team that finished last season so miserably.

Bowlen’s pronouncement on Wednesday that “Jay no longer has any desire to play for the Denver Broncos” was that of a frustrated, irritated multi-millionaire who doesn’t understand a 25-year-old star’s “me first” mindset in today’s team-ethic NFL. Now both parties are heading for a bitter, rancorous divorce which suits neither and will hurt both of them in the season to come (unless Tennessee really are one of the 12 reported teams in the hunt for Cutler’s signature, in which case the player would certainly be the winner).

The ex-Vanderbilt signal caller clearly is a major talent, but the lack of maturity in much of his posturing (not to mention the little matter of 18 interceptions last season) suggests he still has a lot to learn, and he is going to have to shake off the effects of a major ‘Jay Is A Jerk’ bandwagon currently revving up in Colorado if he is prosper anywhere else.

The final item on this week’s NFL agenda is one of pure tragedy. For the league, for the Cleveland Browns, for oft-injured wide receiver Stallworth – and especially for 59-year-old construction worker Mario Reyes.

Reyes was the pedestrian killed by Stallworth’s car in Miami last week and there is nothing odd or funny to report about what has unfolded since, with the player himself clearly traumatised by the events, which have now become a manslaughter case with the news he was well over the Florida alcohol limit (a reading of .126 compared to the legal requirement of no more than .08).

The charges carry a 15-year sentence and the wideout who has started just seven games since signing a 7-year, $35m contract with the Browns in March last year will become the new, sad poster child for the ‘don’t drink and drive’ campaign in south Florida.

We started the week with the foolish and ended up with the catastrophic. We can only hope it gets better from here but, with more, surely, to come from the likes of Vick, Burress and Cutler, you do sometimes wonder if commissioner Roger Goodell has the impossible task of keeping the lid on such silly-season shenanigans.

Is it September yet?

2009-02-03T17:48:00.000-08:00

Day 7 - The Longest Day

Overview - alarm goes off at 7am on the Sunday. Time to get ready for what promises to be a genuinely intriguing day. It is then 4am on Monday before I eventually finish the final item for the day and switch off the lap-top, utterly exhausted, brain like mush. That's a 21-hour day for those who are counting (lord knows, I couldn't by then).

I have never written so much in one go, on one game, with virtually no pause once things started. But it was thoroughly worthwhile for what turned out to be an impossibly memorable Super Bowl (Best ever? Best touchdown catch? Best final drive? Let the arguments begin!).

In chronological order they were:

The live 'runner' for SunSport online, taking the game drive by drive (see it here if it is still online).

An immediate full re-write "on the final whistle" (as they like to say in the UK). Game report.

And, to complete the 'hat-trick', a considered (considered? at 3 in the morning? Yeah, right!) piece for SkySports.com, looking at the immediate reaction to a momentous event.

Roughly 4,300 words churned out from just prior to kick-off (actually, at around 5pm), right through to the game's uber-dramatic conclusion, and beyond. I think I just might have earned my corn today (For once - Ed).

But wait. That’s putting the cart before the horse. Let me try to steer you through the day with some semblance of order and less breathless exhaustion….

Oh no, it’s I-4 again!

Like I said, the day began some 11.5 hours before a ball was even kicked in anger. With three journos to mobilize (myself and the two Nicks), there is always the possibility for someone to be late or engaged in an unforeseen story. Happily, that wasn’t the case here. All three of us are on time and suitably unencumbered by unexpected work.

After a couple of phone calls with the Sun office to establish what was required there, and a chat with the Online desk to make sure I had their details for the live runner (it being the first time anyone had trusted me to file on an almost play-by-play basis), we were on the road shortly after 8.30am.

The by-now maddeningly familiar stretch of I-4 to Tampa is pretty dull by this stage in the proceedings, enlivened only by Nick Z’s continuing fascination with the vast tractor, bulldozer and crane depot along the side of the road at the junction with Highway 27, and our own ‘Fan Count’ of cars sporting the various colors of the teams.

(Unofficial total – Pittsburgh cars, 107; Arizona 5. Further evidence – as if we needed it – that the Steeler Nation can still turn out in force, while the Cardinals fans represent not so much a nation as a tiny principality in the Northern Territories)

The weather is bright and promising; only in the 60sF but mainly sunny and suitably hospitable for a Super Bowl day (unlike the grey, chilly gloom we encountered in Jacksonville and the totally misery-inducing and unseasonal rain of Miami – two less-than-inspiring scenarios from recent years).

Arriving near the Media Center is a doddle, parking even more so. Our chosen spot is just two blocks from the Convention Center and, at a cost of $10 for the day, a true bargain (unlike the $10 beer at the stadium later on. Rip-off? Very possibly).

The Great Brunch of '95

It is still a bit of a walk to the Hyatt Hotel for the Pre-Game Brunch, but, in the absence of anyone else on the streets in downtown Tampa, it is easy enough and completely without incident (apart from a certain hurry-up element in need of the restroom. Yes, that second cup of coffee I had before leaving was definitely not a good idea!).

How to describe the Pre-Game Brunch?

This is most definitely a Super Bowl institution of many years standing, enlivened over the years by the efforts of various British journos to eat their own weight in the vast spread of food on offer. I’d go so far as to say the Brunches in Miami 1995 and Phoenix ’96 were near-legendary for the dining achievements of several of ‘Her Majesty’s Press.’ Alan ‘Macca’ McKinlay of the Daily Mirror (sadly absent in recent years) may not LOOK as if he could consume the culinary contents of a semi (or even a small saloon come to that), but he can pack it away like few I’ve seen. If eating were an Olympic event, he’d be looking to get gold, silver AND bronze. And still look in need of a square meal.

But I digress.

This year’s brunch is a more modest affair than many we’ve seen, but is still impressive. Rumor has it, the NFL – in today’s new world of fiscal frugality – ordered a late cut-back in size from 2,000 to just 900 attendees, and one chef manning an omelette station insisted the extent of the food offerings was very much ‘average’ in their overall scale of things.

However, despite the relative parsimony of the occasion (relative to the extent that today’s brunch was still equivalent to an absolute 20-course feast by the standards of other sporting events – try expecting the Football Association in England to lay on a pre-game meal of any significance and you could have a long wait indeed), it is still a spectacular event.

The brunch fills a whole ballroom in the hotel, with large circular tables surrounded by multiple serving stations positively groaning under the weight of food on offer. All the usual suspects are to be found – mountains of scrambled egg, bacon, sausages, country-style potatoes, waffles, omelettes, fresh roast sirloin and all manner of pastries – along with an impressive dessert table featuring cookies, brownies and fresh fruit, the latter cunningly disguised as palm trees (so cunning, in fact, that I was stopped by one woman who, seeing my fruit plate, asked imploringly where I had found these particular delicacies. As we were standing right in front of the ‘palm trees’ at the time, it didn’t take much effort to point out that the fruit was all stuck to the ‘trunks’ of the trees with cocktail sticks. Actually, it took several efforts before she could see what I was pointing to – perhaps a case of the chef being a bit TOO creative with his design?!).

The scheduled meal conclusion of 11am had long passed before we managed to ease ourselves away from the table (in our defense, it was gone 10am before we arrived), fully sated and ready to take on the world. In truth, we had probably eaten enough to last the rest of the week, let alone until game time, but it would seem rude to spurn the NFL’s hospitality by not partaking of as much as possible. So we didn’t.

The calm before the storm

The walk back to the Media Center was much needed, but also generated the first surprise of the day. It had gone. Well, not so much disappeared as been dismantled. Where previously was a medium-sized exhibition hall filled with rows and rows of long, bench-like desks equipped with all the necessary internet cables and power supplies, now there was a medium-sized exhibition hall filled with not very much at all.

Outside the hall, the host stands for South Florida and Texas were rapidly disappearing as well, as zealous maintenance folk unscrewed, un-hammered and generally disassembled the accoutrement of the previous week. We wondered if we had wandered through some kind of weird time warp after leaving the Hyatt. Had we somehow lost a whole day and missed the game, passing straight through to Miserable Monday, when the ‘after the Lord Mayor’s show’ feeling is usually in full swing?

Apparently not. This was either a further indication of modern cost-cutting, or merely ultra-efficient organization, removing things that, in all honesty, were no longer really required. Fortunately, there were still a few desks and chairs left in the Radio Row area, as the various presenters, DJs, radio jocks and assorted hangers-on had decamped already to the stadium.

The three of us managed to spend a quiet hour or so catching up with the day’s newspapers and preparing suitably fitting and witty intros for what we anticipated later on (none of which turned out to be in any way usable, as it happened).

By 2.30pm, we were ready to roll. Game faces on, we headed for the shuttle buses to Raymond James Stadium, fully prepared for a long drive in heavy traffic and then a scrimmage at the other end to get into the stadium itself, as can be the case. Within half an hour, we had arrived (albeit with a final 10 minutes of arcane maneuvering around a police-imposed one-way system that made the Minotaur’s Labyrinth look like a walk in the park).

The walk from the drop-off area was equally hassle-free, and made more enjoyable by the arrival, nano-seconds ahead of us, of the Arizona Cardinals cheerleading squad. OK, so they weren’t in full regalia, just in black-and-red tracksuits with nary a pom-pom on view, but they certainly caught a few camera lenses all the same.

The usual security procedures (a cursory pat-down, electronic screening and a police sniffer dog to examine all our bags) were easily negotiated and it was colored line time.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road (kind of)

Now, the NFL has developed a system of navigation around each Super Bowl stadium the likes of which can only be described as Wizard of Oz-inspired. With various members of the media needing one of the two main press boxes, or the field, or TV trailers, or Radio Row, or the Working Room, or, well, you get the idea, they would need an army of people to keep herding the stray masses in the appropriate different directions, so they don’t bother.

Instead, they give you a color and a line, and it is up to you to work it out. We are ‘Auxiliary Press Box’ (we are always auxiliary press box, by the way) and our ‘code’ for the day is gold. Only it isn’t. It’s more like burnt orange. Happily, gold/orange is fully locked in to our destination and, up two long escalators, a short ramp, and a corridor, we are safely arrived behind some of the swish executive suites at the APB.

Located in the north-east corner of the stadium (at the same end as the famous Buccaneers ‘pirate ship’), we are actually pretty early and there is not much to see yet, although it is pretty clear we are not so much in Tampa as Pittsburgh South. Steeler fans are everywhere, and you immediately begin to fear for Arizona’s chances of even being heard. Some estimates put the AFC fans at about 80% of the stadium’s occupation, but I think that may be a touch conservative.

The APB takes a bit of effort to climb into (if you are in the middle of one of the rows, you either need to get multiple people to move for you, or climb around the back of the row, mountaineering around the many TVs that stick out to block the way) and, once suitably ensconced, it seems too much effort to climb back out again. So I don’t (actually that is a slight exaggeration – I do manage to extricate myself on two occasions in the next six hours, once to scope out the concession stands nearby in search of a good cup of coffee, cappuccino-aholic that I am, and once to visit the loo!).

Now it really is time to focus on the day at hand. The stadium’s sound system is already at ‘kill’ level it seems, but the raucous renditions of ‘For Those About To Rock’ and ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’ serve to pump up the excitement significantly. The initial arrival of one or two players on the field (just in tracksuits or shorts) sparks the first genuine fan frenzy, and the video tribute to former Cardinal Pat Tillman serves as an emotional and sobering counter-point to the sporting excesses.

The Florida State University marching band put on a stormer of a show and the pulses are now officially racing in anticipation of the kick-off. All the pre-game festivities take another 30 minutes out of our lives and eventually, finally, we get to Super Bowl XLIII.

Incidentally, the coaches must really have their hands full at this stage, as you can positively sense both teams chomping at the bit to get started. The preliminary hoopla takes on an interminable quality that must test everyone’s patience and nerve to the limit and it is easy to imagine the players pleading ‘Just let us OUT THERE!’

An XL-ent half

Once we finally get to the action, the game seems to go by on Fast Forward. Doing the live up-dating certainly adds to this feeling as I am either trying to watch replays of the action or typing furiously. The end of the first quarter comes as a huge surprise as there are only three possessions (actually two-and-a-bit, as Pittsburgh’s second possession carries over into the second quarter, where they promptly make it 10-0), and I’m as breathless as the Cardinals defense.

The press box is kept supplied by an ever-willing army of helpers, who come out at regular intervals with sodas, bottled water, lunch boxes (one for each desk, containing a turkey sub, chips, cookie, granola bar and an apple) and coffee (although I could have done with more than one round of the latter). I also seem to remember some hot-dogs going round at one stage, but much of the game was such a blur, spent hunched over the lap-top trying to record every moment, that I could easily be wrong!

The final action at the end of the first half is a stunner; I have already penciled in a score of Pittsburgh 10 Arizona 14 when, in the space of 20 crazy seconds, the whole game is turned on its head. After dominating much of the half, the Steelers are suddenly looking vulnerable to Kurt Warner’s pin-point passing. But, just as the Cardinals are about to cash in on the lone Ben Roethlisberger turnover, the NFL’s Defensive Player of the Year steps in to break Arizona hearts with his 100-yard interception return.

“Mayhem,” I write in my Sun running report. And that’s an understatement. But that’s why Pittsburgh have the No 1 defense and why James Harrison will go on to have one of the greatest careers of any modern player. This linebacker corps are easily the most destructive group I have seen in my 20 years of covering the NFL and Harrison’s drive and tenacity epitomise their ethos. You have to feel sorry for the Cardinals as this level of defensive brilliance almost seems unfair.

Hopefully, the high quality of the first 30 minutes should also give the lie to those who proclaimed this a feeble match-up. I’m sure there are still plenty who will try to insist Arizona’s regular season record makes this a ‘poor’ Super Bowl, but all the actual evidence points to the very opposite. I had high hopes for a great contest of contrasting styles (as I did for Seattle-Pittsburgh, which proved to be horribly turgid), and the first half more than lives up to that promise.

The Springsteen half-time show is a predictable mixture of high-energy performance and big-stadium rock bombast. I’m not keen on the choice of Tenth Avenue Freeze Out as the opening number and Glory Days is an OK finale, but Born in the USA or Dancing In The Dark would have been better – and more appropriate. In truth, I can’t really take it all in as I am still furiously typing out the breathless finale to the half for The Sun.

More drama than the RSC

Doing the play-by-play reporting makes it hard to get a full appreciation of the general ebb and flow of the game, but the overall feel is still easy to absorb, and this is clearly bubbling up nicely with Pittsburgh in control and the Cardinals hanging on by their finger-tips. BUT – the gap is only 13 points and, as I never tire of telling my colleagues (go on, ask them – they were all heartily fed up with it by the end!), this Arizona team is perfectly capable of scoring points in bunches.

As drama is piled on drama (the Royal Shakespeare Company has nothing on this!), it is clear we are witnessing one of THE great Super Bowls; the big plays come thick and fast and the overall level of play is positively stratospheric (another major poke in the eye for the nay-sayers – take THAT you doubters).

Both teams could have been forgiven for leaning on each other, gasping for air and declaring the contest a draw but, as we now know, the Steelers saved the best for last and Santonio Holmes became THE big story of the day with his corner-of-the-end-zone miracle. I was convinced Ben Roethlisberger was just throwing the ball away (something which Warner should have done in the same position at the end of the first half) as, from our vantage point, the ball seemed to sail way too high for anyone to get near it, let alone haul it in.

But then history will reveal that Holmes had ‘the fluence’ on that final drive, that indefinable quality of greatness and indefatigable will to win which make genuine champions. A worthy MVP winner, Holmes must now come to terms with being the new ‘greatest’ in the NFL and not become the new Toxico Burress. His post-game interviews certainly indicate he may be OK on that score, but his past also displays a few worrying signposts.

Yet that is a story for another day. The MVP award may have seemed a bit of a snub to Roethlisberger – after all, it was his arm that propelled the ball into Holmes’s grateful hands on each of those 9 occasions – but I can understand the voting panel shying away from the big quarterback as he was actually outshone, statistically at least, by Warner, and there would have been a lot more argument in going for Big Ben.

And what to make of Kurt Warner? The 37-year-old certainly did everything in his power to carry the day for the underdogs as his fourth-quarter display may never be equaled (14 of 19 for 224 yards and 2 touchdowns), and his final stats were truly startling. But that one INT (and the seven points the other way) to go with the three TDs looks awfully accusatory in a four-point game.

Warner is simply one of the most admirable men to have played this game in recent years and there can be little doubt Arizona would never have got to Tampa without him. His ability to rally the Cardinals from 20-7 down was remarkable, and yet fortune – or whatever you like to call it – was not with him when it mattered most, at the very end of both halves. The Hall of Fame arguments will continue in earnest but, from where I was sitting, I’d have him ahead of all but Tom Brady of the current crop of QBs.

So, with that utterly breathtaking and eye-popping ending, we had Super Bowl XLIII becoming another Steeler-fest, virtually all of which passed me by as I hastily bashed out another 13 pars as my quick-hit re-write. Nick Szczepanik was equally hectic at the finish as he rushed out a live story, and all three of us positively reeled out of the press box at around 10.45pm.

Bus ride to the Twilight Zone

Realistically, that should just about have been the end of it, but there was one final episode to negotiate. As we departed the stadium (having to walk down a seemingly endless ramp, as some dimwit Jobsworth insisted we couldn’t use the escalator), the color-coded line did its job in helping us re-trace our steps back to the shuttle bus (with the distinctive UCF Golden Knights banner emblazoned on the side, indicative of the range of transportation options pulled in for the day). But there our final agony of the evening began.

With my head down over the lap-top (frantically typing out my SkySports report), I was only dimly aware of several stops and starts in our journey, which seemed to be taking forever, even though we were clear of the stadium traffic pretty quickly. The next thing I knew, we were performing a slow-motion U-turn on a major road and trundling back in the direction from whence we had come. Not good.

Our progress also seemed to be mired in an ever-deepening quicksand as our bus slowed from 40mph to 30 and then 20. As we finally sighted the towers of downtown Tampa, we were just crawling along the highway and then, as the bus driver made a gallant late bid to take the off-ramp in the rough direction of downtown, the engine sputtered one last choleric heave and died completely. In the middle of the off ramp. With nowhere to go. And a paramedic unit right behind us with its emergency lights and siren on.

Had we blundered into a modern episode of the Twilight Zone? Were the football gods mocking me for picking Arizona to upset the odds? Either way, we were well and truly stuck, and the bus driver wasn’t about to let anyone off in the middle of the highway (fortunately, the paramedic unit was able to squeeze past with a bit of judicious maneuvering). What now? It was ticking ever closer to midnight and the possibility of making it to the post-game buffet (or ANY kind of meal, come to that) seemed unlikelier by the minute.

In an act of true desperation, the driver gave the ignition one last hopeful turn and, lo and behold, the engine coughed its way back into some semblance of life. Off we went at a cracking 5mph – all of 200 yards before the awful silence of engine cut-out struck again. Thankfully, we were able to coast another 200 yards with the down-slope and managed to get off the dreaded highway ramp on to the fringes of the city proper. The driver angled his propulsion-less carriage towards the sidewalk (narrowly avoiding taking out an off-duty fire engine along the way) and we coasted to a final, irrevocable stop.

OK, we thought, we can see where we needed to be (on the other side of downtown), and it can’t be more than, oh, 30 blocks or so. So off we all set, all 30 of us on that fateful bus, in the vague direction of the Marriott Waterside.

Happily, we hadn’t got more than half a block when another bus pulled up with the clear intention of coming to its stricken mate’s aid. Rescued! With the driver leaning out to shout to those who had already partly galloped off on foot, we managed to round up most of our 30 fellow Twilight Zone travelers (I’m not entirely sure we got all 30, though, as there didn’t seem to be quite the same number as had alighted from Bus No 1 – somewhere in downtown Tampa there may still be one or two brave souls desperately trying to find the hotel!) and trundle off.

Our belated arrival back at the Media Center (adjacent to the Marriott) was greeted with a thunderous round of applause – and a mad scramble to see if there was anything left of the post-game buffet.

Very happily, it was still in full swing at several minutes after midnight and we were able to partake fully of the vast spread laid out in the ballroom amid some significant crowds. A fresh carvery station, Mexican table, huge selection of hot sandwiches and much more greeted our grateful eyes and, while it was WAY too late to do it serious justice, the three of us did manage a significant plateful or two (and some much-needed coffee in my instance).

At around 12.40am, the driver in our group (that would be me), called ‘time’ on proceedings in the interests of getting back home to Orlando before sun-up. We still had about a 4-block walk back to the parking lot where we had left the car, seemingly about 20 hours ago, and then the exit navigation of downtown Tampa. Finally, I-4 seemed like a trusted friend once again as we eventually made it onto the highway at around 1am.

It was something like 2.15 before our Super Bowl domicile greeted our return, and there was still a SkySports.com piece to be written, emails to be sent to the Sun with a line for the news desk on a follow-up story (Santonio Holmes, naturally enough) and then finally, blissfully, the long, long day was over as the mournful blue light of the bedside clock shimmered past 4am.

Super Bowl XLIII was well and truly over for this particular reporter (at least until follow-up story time in, what, five hours’ time?). In many ways it had all passed in a blur, while other parts of it had seemed interminable (the horrendous bus ride and the morning drive down, most notably!).

It capped a week of truly memorable events, fun and sporting drama, the likes of which we may not see again in a long, long time. It also sealed a season of the utmost unpredictability; five months of impossible-to-imagine results and stories of unexpected teams on the rise (Miami, Baltimore, Atlanta and Arizona) and others falling sharply off cliffs (Dallas, Tampa Bay, New York Jets and Denver).

So, anyone care to make a prediction for next season then…………..?

2009-02-02T18:10:00.000-08:00

Day 6 - The Calm Before the Storm

As much as we like to pretend that covering the Super Bowl is actually hard work (and it CAN be - wait for Day 7), there is still a lot of fun involved and the Saturday of Super Bowl week is usually R 'n R Central.

By this stage, our work for the various UK media is done and there is no more we can do until Game Day rolls around. That means it is up to us to find creative ways to occupy our time in the interim.

With that in mind, we decide to create the First Annual Super Bowl Mini-Golf Am-Am (bearing in mind that you do actually need a pro or two for a Pro-Am). So the three of us (myself and the two Nicks - Szczepanik and Chapman, from The Times and News International respectively) jump in the car and go in search of Sport.

Bearing in mind our Orlando 'base' location, this is a natural. You cannot go five minutes in any direction without running into a decent golf course, and the mini-golf options are equally creative in this tourist wonderland.

And there is the perfect mixture of mini-golf and real, sporting challenge at our nearby location of Walt Disney World, where the Fantasia Gardens 18-hole turf course is as tough a prospect as anything in the genuine golfing world.

Did I say tough? Make that fiendish.

If you have ever tried to putt on polished glass, you will have an idea of what it is like. The course record is something like 51, and the 'Day's best' was listed as 59 as we arrived for a 4.25 'tee time.'

An hour and 40 minutes later, we rolled off the course, badly battered by its cunning layout and slick turf. The 'winning' score (Nick C) was a fairly miserable 72, three better than Nick Z, while my efforts totally a truly woeful 79.

That's right - 79, on a mini-golf course. People have completed marathons quicker (well, almost). Even John Daly can break 79 (every now and then).

The really sad aspect was that we treated it deadly seriously (well, for most of the time anyway, when one of the Nicks wasn't playing silly buggers and trying to drive the ball into the far distance).

We didn't actually have any air shots, and we did manage to finish most holes (with a six-stroke limit per hole - we invented a whole new score of '6 asterisk' for when it could easily have been 7, 8, 9 or more).

In the course of our round we were passed by two guys who had clearly played the course before and could finish a hole in less than five minutes, and a dad and his 6-year-old son.

To say this wasn't our finest sporting hour would be something of an understatement.

What it DID provide, though was laughs. Lots of them. An absolute barrel-load of big, deep belly-laughs as we lurched from one seemingly impossible predicament to another, defying the laws of golf, most sports, this particular course, Newton's Theory of Inertia and, most likely, the Law of Gravity.

It was hysterical, and we should probably apologize to the other patrons of Fantasia Gardens that afternoon as they must have wondered if we were either drunk or just plain crazy (I'm pretty sure we were neither) as we guffawed our way around all 18 holes, helplessly and whole-heartedly.

We can thoroughly recommend it as an aid to relaxation any day of the week.

And the best thing of all? We must all now make sure we are in South Florida this time next year for the Second Annual Super Bowl Mini-Golf Am-Am.

The locals have been warned......

2009-01-31T04:54:00.000-08:00

Day 5 - Are We There Yet?

There is a distinct tendency by the Friday of Super Bowl week to stop, look around and think 'Isn't it game time yet?'

Virtually every story angle has been exhausted (apart from the one whereby one of the players gets arrested for something suitably outlandish or tawdry on the Saturday night, or just goes AWOL), the last press conferences have been given, nearly all the fans are in town ready for a serious party, and the UK media has filed its last pre-game story (due to the time difference and Sunday newspapers needing their non-soccer copy by Friday morning).

It means we have entered the Twilight Zone of Super Bowl coverage; a realm betwixt and between; neither still an ongoing, 'live' event (until the first ball is kicked), nor anything you can ignore totally in case the aforementioned bizarre Saturday night incident happens early and everyone has to re-write their stories.

Therefore we are 'in residence' at the Media Center but not paying full attention (partly because we've had another early start to the day and partly because the two main conferences featuring the head coaches are, by now, producing the exact same words we have already heard half a gazillion times this week. They are just in a different order. The amazing thing is that both Mike Tomlin and Ken Whisenhunt can stand there and respond with a calm, straight face when, really, you'd think they would want to pound the podium with a fist and scream 'You've already asked me that question, 2,000 times, in 2,000 different ways and got the same answer every time! What makes you think I'm going to change it now?!').

We've also had another great escapade with the ever-changing local law enforcment restrictions on the various roads around the Convention Center. Today, Franklin Street has been cordoned off just south of the Center, completely ruining any chance of being able to retrace your steps if (and when) you are directed the wrong way by one of their very bored traffic officers. Our car park of choice is also inaccessible from one side of the road (due to an incredible outbreak of cones), so we must go further afield in search of a spot for our vehicular transportation. We end up at Channelside, about half a mile away. Happily, parking here seems to be free today, much to our pleasant surprise.

Ken Whisenhunt is asked (not for the first time) about "how well prepared" his team is at this stage, as if he is going to turn round and say "Actually, we have pretty much goofed off all week and I haven't been thinking about the game. We're just here for the party." But someone has to ask something, otherwise we're reduced to interviewing each other (again - the local Tampa Tribune was quizzing foreign journos on Tuesday night about how we enjoyed this city compared to other Bowl venues, and we were all suitably complimentary, unbearable suck-ups that we are).

Fortunately, there are a few other events which provide a reasonable diversion while we wait for the clock to tick down to the time that precludes any possible further addition to our newspapers for the Saturday edition (thanks to the 5-hour time difference).

I manage to look into the Pro Football Writers Association meeting, and then join the majority of the press throng for The Commish, the annual 'state of the gridiron nation' statement and Q&A with the impressively smooth Roger Goodell (although I wish I could tie his arms to his sides, as he tends to 'talk' so much with the use of his hands, a la George W, that it quickly becomes a huge distraction watching his arms waving around).

There is still time afterwards to amend a few final facts for my News of the World story (Facts? in a News of the World story? What am I thinking?) and spend some time in the writing room working on one of these blogs, which I have allowed to slide on the Thursday due to the hectic nature of that particular day.

And that brings us to Friday afternoon, and the de facto end of our pre-game hoopla. There is nothing that can now be added for the UK papers (unless either Kurt Warner or Anquan Boldin drops dead, which would slightly spoil my NotW story), so it only remains to head out into the real Super Bowl world, that of the growing army of fans, and witness first-hand how it is shaping up.

The answer, if you are the Cardinals, is not good. We do, eventually, spot some Arizona jerseys, but the Convention Center and Channelside areas are swarming with Steelers, so it could be a bit lonely for Kurt Warner and Co inside Raymond James Stadium. Pittsburgh fans are always ready to come out in support of their team at the drop of a hat, but this is a pretty impressive turnout all the same.

It does beg the question, does Arizona actully realize its team is playing in a faily important game on Sunday?

2009-01-30T15:31:00.000-08:00

Day 4 - The Boss Bowl

The time and date of 2.30pm on Thursday has been in many people's diaries since the beginning of the week (in fact, it has been highlighted since the official schedule was published about two weeks ago. Good planning, you see!).

It's all very well interviewing the players and seeing the shameless ligging going on in Radio Row and elsewhere in the Media Center (as various NFL ceklebrities come and go with the ebb and flow of an increasingly hectic program), but a genuine press conference Event is hard to find.

Yes, there is the annual address by The Commish, but that is pretty much expected these days, even if it was a relatively recent creation of previous incumbent Paul Tagliabue. And Media Day can be fun in a freeform, lunatic kind of way.

But the half-time show press conference has rapidly become one of THE must-attend moments of the whole week-long media frenzy. They can vary from anodyne to embarrassing, but there is usually a freak-show element to the occasion which has become compulsive viewing, especially as it also draws the full range of journalistic types.

The story of media Thursday is not all about one press conference, though, as much as we like to make it seem as if that is the case. No, there is real work involved (just in case anyone is under the impression this is one long football-themed party). Writing for the UK media (primarily The London Sun, News of the World and SkySports.com) involves several small stories during the week (the team arrivals, Hines Ward's famous knee, Darnell Dockett's 'I forgive my mom's killer' moment), plus three fairly lengthy pieces, one for each main media source. And Thursday is the key day for weekend copy.

Therefore, much of the morning is spent in a writing frenzy in the Working Room of the Media Center (once Nick and I have again been able to negotiate the increasingly baffling array of new daily traffic-flow restrictions in the surrounding streets; seriously, it's like the police are playing a game with motorists by saying each day, 'OK, what road shall we cordon off today to really throw the buggers off the trail?' Or something similar).

This is not helped by the WiFi service doing its own impression of The Vanishing. One minute it's there; the next, a whole bunch of journos are left staring dumbly at screens which read 'User ID not recognised. Fool.' I'm not kidding. Cyberspace is openly mocking us - the revenge of the IT nerds. There is metaphorical smoke coming out of various keyboards and repeatedly hitting the 'Return' key doesn't relieve the frustration much.

But I do eventually get a full preview filed for SkySports.com, a page lead sent over to The Sun (which inevitably gets crunched down to just a dozen pars or so) and rough out an idea for the News of the World (based on the Anquan Boldin facial injury he suffered earlier this season - you see, with the UK media, it's not so much a case of coming up with an unusual or original line so much as recapping the most gruesome or unlikely story of the season!).

That just leaves time for a bite of lunch (a bag of chips and an apple I remembered to bring with me - food tends to be a bit of an optional extra on busy days), and then it's off for the pre-Game and Half-Time Show press conferences.

The first is already in full swing, and John Legend and Faith Hill seem a bit non-plussed at trying to explain their involvement; John, it turns out, is a "big football fan" while Faith has "learned to enjoy it thanks to my husband." Both will be pulling for the Cardinals in a growing ground-swell of support for the underdogs.

This rather limp offering finally wraps up around 2.20pm, and the media throng visibly swells at the scheduled 2.30pm arrival of The Main Event, the man himself, The Boss, the leader of the E-Street Band, aka Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen, Esq.

The hubbub of anticipation is absolutely palpable; the media are not supposed to be starry-eyed at the prospect of a meeting with rock royalty, but this comes pretty close. Nick and I guess-timate the crowd at 500-plus and there is hardly an empty chair to be seen in this rather cavernous hall (a curtained-off area of one of the bigger exhibition halls at the Tampa Convention Center).

2.30 arrives and passes by; as does 2.40 and 2.45. Eventually, after a suitably-concert-late delay of 20-plus minutes, one corner of the hall becomes a mini-volcano of activity and Bruce and the 7 members of the band troop on. This is pure press conference drama, and it is excitement all the way with this one.

Bruce quips "If there are a lot of questions about football, this is going to be the shortest press conference on record!" And we are off and running for 30 minutes of wonderful theatre and good humor. Informed it will be a Q&A session with the media, the Boss also joked: "Is there anyone from New Jersey?" Of course, plenty of journos indicate in the affirmative. "Don't give them the microphone," is his instant comeback.

And so it continued, with Bruce holding center court but affording band members like Nils Lofgren, Steve Van Zandt and Clarence Clemons a turn with the mike. We learned Bruce is not a football fan; he loves their last three albums; he always considered the half-time show a "novelty event" in the past; and they have their "mercenary reasons" for finally agreeing to play the show this year ("Hey, we have a new album out, dummy!").

It is all good knockabout stuff; Bruce looks in prime form, with those famous vocal chords sounding as good as ever and ready to rock 'n roll once more. We weren't sure whether to applaud or hold up cigarette lighters.

The conclusion of the conference sends various assorted journos scurrying for their phones and lap-tops (including this one). To me, it sounds like a great little story for the entertainment pages of The Sun, and the sports desk agrees. I file 12 pars. None make the paper. Ho hum - a writer's lot can be a cruel one at times.

But there's no time to feel sorry for oneself. There is the nightly return drive to Orlando to be tackled (in pouring-down rain; somehow, the early-week forecast of 84 and sunny has turned into 68 and a mini-monsoon. We are not happy bunnies as the journey takes almost twice as long as normal).

And there is still work to tackle once home again; a 16-par story for the News of the World and another blog for SportsMania. Once again, it is gone midnight before I can turn in, and we have another 7am start tomorrow.

See, not ALL fun and games, is it?

2009-01-30T09:43:00.001-08:00

Day 3 - The University Perspective

The Super Bowl is a genuine smorgasbord of opportunity for sports-writers. There is SO much to cover, you can pick and choose the events and occasions that best suit your working brief, and schedule your day accordingly.

With up to 18 officially scheduled media events a day, it is impossible to cover them all; the smorgasbord would become an exercise in pure gluttony (with the indigestion to match), hence the need to be selective.

And following the excesses of Media Day, it is far more important to pick up on a strand, theme or player that most aptly fits the bill for a follow-up or additional story-line.

Therefore Nick Szczepanik (a fellow journalist from The Times in the UK and my constant traveling companion this week) and I decide the Steelers will be our most likely source of valuable follow-up material on the Wednesday.

This requires the daily drive down I-4 from Orlando (the cheapest hotel rate of all, seeing as it's my home for large parts of the year!) but, in this case, instead of having to negotiate the last few traffic-choked miles of the highway, we can turn off along I-75 for the University of South Florida (just don't try to be geographic about this, seeing as south Florida is actually some 200 miles further in a southerly direction).

The USF campus is the working home this week of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and there are some indications in Journoville that the AFC representatives have been given the short end of the stick as regards facilities (seeing as the Cardinals get to use the ultra-smart Buccaneers practice ground).

You'll certainly hear no such grouching from the Steelers or any of their coaches, but it certainly does seem a more spartan set-up than most NFL teams will be used to. Just to start with, driving in to the campus provides little - if any - evidence that there is a major event on the premises.

Nick and I searched in hope, but any signposts to the Steelers' presence were sadly lacking. Having driven into one parking lot where, clearly, visiting international journalists were not intended to be (students gazed at our frantic navigations with a mixture of incredulity and mild amusement), we needed to extricate ourselves in a hurry lest we incur the wrath of the local parking tzar. While signage of any kind of NFL activity was decidedly deficient, the insistence on proper parking permits was omni-present.

Trying to be logical, we followed the only signs we could find for the athletic facilities and, very soon, the indoor Sun Dome stadium hove into view. Anything vaguely Pittsburghian remained elusive, and an enquiry of an elderly gent in a green jacket at the back of the parking lot (well, he looked official from a distance) elicited only more blank looks.

A phalanx of idling motorcycle police gave more hope of a pointer in the right direction and, sure enough, we were pointed in the direction of the Sun Dome itself, despite its general lack of any encouraging journalistic signs.

However, by the time we had parked (looking around carefully for those parking permit signs), a steady trickle of similarly half-bewildered, accreditation-bedecked individuals had started to appear, moving in the direction of the sign that proudly proclaimed 'Media Entrance.'

Only not today.

Oh no. The entrance for the media was ALL the way round the other side (like, around a 270-degree journey from our present spot). Ho hum, and off we trek.

Dodging the traffic on a non-sidewalk section of road, we did eventually find our way to the appointed entryway, and here the gathering of all things media-like was well under way.

The stark difference from the Cardinals' base of the Grand Hyatt Tampa Bay was immediately evident. No plush hotel surroundings for these blue collar Steelers - instead, much of the court area of the Sun Dome was curtained off into a press hall with podium and a secondary area with tables and mini-podiums.

Mike Tomlin and Ben Roethlisberger are first up, doing their thing for the massed ranks of the media in (another) extended Q&A. Tomlin remains intently focused on the end product of all this week's vast hype and hoopla, while his quarterback is giving the impression he is definitely ready for the game. He answers everything perfectly politely, but you sense he would rather be having root canal work rather fielding yet another question on Anquan Boldin's sideline hoo-ha during the NFC Championship game.

With that part of the session suitably concluded, it is the turn of the other 50-odd players to shamble into the other part of the hall and take up positions either at the circular tables or on the mini-podiums. Troy Polamalu, James Harrison, LaMarr Woodley, Santonio Holmes and Hines Ward all all 'podium guys' again today. The rest are either in listless repose at the tables or wandering in small groups, idly glancing at their watches to see when they can get out to practice.

It's a good chance to get some one-on-one questions, though, with almost everyone (if you're patient enough), as you're not required to be quite so telepathic with the timing of your question-asking. The players are in closer proximity and all seem happy to take these face-to-face moments with due care and courtesy.

Polamalu and Ward draw the biggest crowds, but even those fluctuate and dwindle at different times in the half-hour session, allowing me to ask the soft-spoken Samoan what he'd really like to do if he sees Larry Fitzgerald coming over the middle in his direction on Sunday (the answer, of course, is far more circumspect than the question, as Troy insists the defence's hard-hitting characteristics are purely a team ethos and nothing personal. I would certainly want written proof of that before I ever crossed the white lines with these guys, though).

I ask similar posers of Woodley and Harrison, and then notice bleach-haired kicker Jeff Reed sitting almost on his lonesome, so I manage a short conversation on the mentality of a kicker's lot with him.

Finally, with the session drawing to a close, I decide the rather large form of No 77 is worth tackling, as he looks distinctly forlorn on the fringe of this mini-melee. And with good cause. Pittsburgh residents will immediately have noted the inhabitant of this jersey as being Marvel Smith, officially relegated to Injured Reserve on December 3 with back problems and therefore a non-combatant on Sunday.

But the nine-year left tackle is still happy to chat and turns out to be a truly charming and insightful conversationalists, discussing his approach to Super Bowl XL and how he genuinely managed to treat it as "just another game," something I had always suspected professional sportsmen in general of telling massive porky pies about. He is a big fan of coach Tomlin and is still hoping to pass on some of his veteran savvy to younger team-mates prior to the game.

Somehow, Super Bowl XLIII will seem just a little poorer for his non-participation.

2009-01-27T21:01:00.000-08:00

Day 2 - Is This For Real?

You know this is not an ordinary day in Journalist-land when your working environment includes:

A cross-dressing Telemundo reporter
Two ballroom dancers
The highly camp Ross The Intern (from the Jay Leno show)
Some guy with a violin
A lightly-dressed (female) Telemundo reporter
An AMC News correspondent (as in American Movie Classics)
Los Angeles DJ Vic 'The Brick' Jacobs in a Davy Crockett hat (in near-80-degree temperatures)
And a 10-year-old girl with a microphone that most players have to stoop to talk to

Yes, it is the annual absurdity and anything-goes attitude of Media Day at a Super Bowl - a ritual that is in danger of becoming a parody of itself in the eyes of many.

Fortunately, the day finished in rather more memorable style with a concert by .38 Special at the Cuba Club in Ybor City (from which my ears are still ringing in the style of the 'Beep! Beep! Beep!' noise you get from a reversing truck).

To start with, just to gain access to this journalistic farrago, it is necessary to join one of a squadron of white buses that move en masse across the city of Tampa from the Convention (Media) Center to Raymond James Stadium. Our bus had all of six reporters on, which might, you felt, have been a slight environmental faux pas (mind you, on the way back, it was packed to the gun'nels, so the balance was slightly redressed).

Then there is Security (definitely with a capital 'S' these days). While our bags are put in a screened off area to be sniffed by a very wag-tailed black labrador (presumably for explosives, as it's hard to imagine anyone bringing food to the mid-morning all-you-can-eat buffet - "A cream-cheese bagel, sir? I'm sorry we can't be having you bringing in anything as offensive as that"), a long stream of this multi-faceted media troops desultorily through the electric scanners (after a fairly desultory personal pat-down from a less-than-enthusiastic screener). Needless to say, none of my heavy belt buckle, watch or copper wristband set off the scanner at all.

Once we are deemed 'safe' to enter the 'green' area within, it is off to the inner concourse of the stadium to await the appointed hour of 10am when the Arizona Cardinals will be available to all the 4,000 or so members of the media corps (cross-dressers included).

It's time - and the rush commences, down the stairs to the side of the field, where various podiums are set up for the 'name' stars of each team while the majority are left to wander the increasingly hectic throng by themselves (some of the Steelers later found a better idea, sitting in small groups in the lower bleachers and calling out wise-cracks to their team-mates in the interview spotlight below).

Now it soon becomes clear that 4,000 into Sideline Space won't go. At least not without a fair bit of pushing and shoving, standing still, inching sideways, tripping over a gazillion cables and gawking at the aformentioned 'oddballs' in the gathering (which included Telemundo reporter Joel Bengoa in a bright red sundress, for reasons known only to himself and, presumably, every Telemundo viewer tonight; 10-year-old Shelby Fallin of Scholastic News; Entertainment Tonight dancer Renee Sapp, playing host in a bizarre 'dance' competition; and the almost-dressed Mireya Grisales, also of Telemundo. What, the Hooters girls were busy?).

The challenge here is to maneuver from one end to the other in the allotted 60 minutes AND try to get in a meaningful question or two. It requires patience, cunning, wit - and an ability to elbow the person next to you in the solar plexus so you can get your question in first. In fact, telepathy is essential here; you need to know the exact split second a player finishes his answer to the previous question so you can launch into yours. Any hesitation is fatal and leaves you fumbling helplessly for words (and, occasionally, teeth).

More than anything, it's a chance to gauge the mood of the protagonists. No Super Bowl was ever won on Media Day, but you can gain some interesting insight into the various mind-sets (notably from three years ago, when the Steelers seemed far more assured than the Seahawks, and that carried over on to the field). It's relevant here this year with Pittsburgh being the 'veteran' Super Bowl team and Arizona the relative novices.

So, some quick notes on the vibes being issued this year (Arizona first) - Edgerrin James looking like he was born for the spotlight here; Karlos Dansby far more earnest and thoughtful; Adrian Wilson doing his best uber-cool Deion Sanders persona; Anquan Boldin laughing and joking it all up; and, at the center of the biggest media scrimmage, Kurt Warner, the 37-year-old who's best days looked to be firmly in the rear-view mirror until this extraordinary season, happily fielding questions on just about every subject under the sun, and with the various journos having to shout their questions in machine-gun style in a bid to be heard.

Then the Steelers - big Ben Roethlisberger the ultimate laid-back dude, letting it all flow over him; defensive kingpins James Harrison, LaMarr Woodley, James Farrior and Troy Polamalu relaxed (and menacing); Hines Ward doing what Hines Ward does best off the field, laugh and joke (and insist he WILL play on Sunday); and head coach Mike Tomlin drawing the biggest media crowd for a more serious discussion, every question carefully considered and given firm, positive response. It is hard to imagine this man overlooking a thing as his driven, sharply-focused nature shines through with laser-beam intensity. Arizona's Ken Whisenhunt is an admirable coach, but I'm glad I'm not going up against Tomlin and his coaching staff - you'd feel naked by the end of it, I imagine.

Thankfully, the two hours (interspersed by the buffet free-for-all) pass quickly and without any real incident. Certainly, there are no signs of anything vaguely aporximating a 'story.' Both teams are complimentary about each other; no, the Steelers don't feel the Cards are underdogs; yes, say Arizona, Pittsburgh deserve to be favorites. All calm, polite, considered stuff, and utterly anodyne.

The evening party in Ybor City is a free-for-all of a different variety, with free food and drink spread out over two floors inside and the massive courtyard outside. Salsa dancers, cigar-rollers (and free cigars for those who indulge in the practice of stinking up the planet with their noxious fumes), a 10-piece Cuban band and a manic DJ are all part of the festivities.

And the outdoor party is highlighted by a 90-minute set from perennial rockers .38 Special with their 80s sound that includes everyone from Lynyrd Skynryd to Kansas, via Boston, Molly Hatchet and many others. Great fun and hugely enjoyable.

The long drive back to Orlando passes without incident and there is just time to pen the day's blog (at 1am) before setting the alarm ready for another day of interview fun and frolics at the two team hotels on the morrow.

Toodle pip........!

2009-01-26T17:51:00.000-08:00

Day 1 - The Phoney War

The Monday of Super Bowl week is pretty much the day when Not Very Much Happens but we try to pretend that it has.

Most of the 4,000 or so accredited media will arrive on Monday and will still be getting their bearings; which way to the Media Center, where is the Stadium, how many Starbucks are there nearby and why are there no free bags?

The occasionally painful process of getting your official Week of Game media accreditation has to be endured (and there is a separate one for Game Day), as everyone lines up and hopes their office has sent through all the right details and the Sacred Envelope of Official Existence is waiting for them in the correct name.

"Of course we sent in all the details. Are you sure you don't have anything for the Outer Blatherwick Gazette-Post-Bugle-Press?"

The Media Center (aka the Tampa Convention Center) is a building of colossal proportions, all 600,000 square feet of it, and it could just as easily be Houston, or San Diego, or Detroit (yes, really), or Phoenix.

Once you are inside the vast-yet-labyrinthine confines of any major convention center, you are effectively in a hermetically sealed environment of the artificial, a rabbit warren domain peopled by indifferent security guards, bustling officials and bewildered journalists.

The signage indicates such arcane offerings as Shuttle Bus Route A, Working Room (we're here to work? Really?), Interview Room 2579/A/ZQR/73, Press Conference Center and, I'm sure if you looked hard enough, The Center of the Earth.

Huge hand-written boards carefully detail the official events of the day and vast acreages of newspapers are strewn around indifferently, casually overlooked by the majority, cruelly picked apart by a minority looking just for the funny papers. Several major deciduous forests have died purely so the Media Center can have wall-to-wall papers in this internet age.

Likewise, monstrous piles of both teams' media guide await those who need to add another 30 pounds of info to their already-straining-at-the-seams bags.

This is the Phoney War, the period of evaluation and info gathering, early maneuvering and careful posturing (like, I knew the garbage disposal room was at the end of the corridor but I did really need to check it out for my story, honest).

Thankfully, into the middle of this storm of near inertia, the teams arrive; reporters scurry to the video screens and the 67,000 denizens of Radio Row burst into something approximating to life, filling the airwaves with the latest 'news' and disecting the first live quotes of the week.

The Steelers are loosey-goosey; relaxed; both buttoned up (revealing nothing of significance) and buttoned down (jokey, cool and casual). Hines Ward insists he IS playing (although he won't even test his injured knee to any significant degree before Thursday - yet more shades of Tom Brady 2008); and Ben Roethlisberger almost bristled at the suggestion his No 1 target wouldn't be available. Possible indications of 'methinks they doth protest too much?' Time will tell.

The Cardinals arrived in more businesslike demeanor, most of their sextet suited and booted, but also seemingly unfazed by the sudden blow-torch intensity of the media glare. The aftermath of Anquan Boldin's sideline spat with coordinator Todd Haley is professionally brushed under the carpet and left to wither. And Kurt Warner proves, not for the first time, that his sporting guise encompasses the contemplation of a philosopher.

No hints of animosity, no suggestion of bulletin board material (and, in this media-intensive age, I'll be astonished if that changes). Neither team boasts a Joey Porter, let alone a Joe Namath, and the evidence of carefully-schooled PR-speak is everywhere. Even my wife can spot it at 100 yards on TV.

But, thankfully, we do have a team that is (largely) new to all this and there is Media Day to come tomorrow, the annual Scrimmage of the Journos.

Let battle commence......!

2009-01-25T09:46:00.000-08:00

Countdown to the Biggest Annual Sporting Event in the World!

Super Bowl XLIII - Day 0

OK, Day 0 doesn't really make much sense, but it is as valid a starting point for this wonderful/crazy/nonsensical/corporate/party event as any other.

The Super Bowl almost defies description in many ways as it has become such a monstrous, bloated commercial occasion it has long ceased to have a true sporting atmosphere. When the focus can be as much on the obscene fees charged for TV commercials and the elaborate half-time facilities (which completely disrupt the players' concentration and sporting rhythm), you know this is not a mere game.

But that is definitely now a part of the overall fun and fascination as the host city becomes Party Central for a week and somehow a meaningful sports occasion breaks out at the end of it. Last year we were treated to one of the most scintillating finales, with the Giants edging out the mighty Patriots in truly stunning fashion (one of those occasions when you knew you were witnessing history-in-the-making) and, while on paper at least, this year's match-up is not quite so appealing, it has just as much potential for a gazillion words to be lavished over it in preview.

So where do you start at the beginning of the 'biggest annual sporting event in the world'?

Well, how about a quick preview of what we can expect from the next 7 days of interviews, press conferences, parties, arguments, traffic jams and TV excesses?

Monday: teams arrive to a pleasant Florida welcome and make initial statements; Arizona are left blinking in the international glare while Pittsburgh crack jokes about preferring the weather in Pennsylvania.

Tuesday: scrum on down! The 4,000 or so accredited media converge on Raymond James Stadium for the ritual of Media Day, an hour in turn with all the players of each team, jostling to ask inane questions and compete with each other to be more wacky (especially the Nickelodeon TV reporters, who can actually look pretty mature compared to some of their grown-up counterparts). A female Spanish-language TV reporter will turn up wearing next to nothing, Hines Ward will be asked six billion questions about his knee, Ken Whisenhunt will field several billion about the 'revenge factor' and members of the ferocious Steelers linebacker corps will be asked to say which animal they most resemble (or tree, or flower, or automobile. Or maybe just to prove they are, in fact, human and not some maniacal group of Terminators sent back in time by the Cyberdyne Corporation to make a killing, literally, with the bookies).

Wednesday: the scene shifts in turn to the two team hotels, with the media hordes descending first on the Cardinals and then the Steelers, to ask pretty much the same questions in a different order, in different accents and with exactly the same results. Hines Ward insists for the gazillionth time that "I WILL play on Sunday" and Kurt Warner is asked to revive his memories of playing for the Amsterdam Admirals in 1998 for the 1,697th time (by me).

Thursday: repeat Wednesday, but add in various press conferences back at the Media Center (the Tampa Convention Center), like the Gridiron Great press conference, the Motorola NFL Coach of the Year award, the Diet Pepsi NFL Rookie of the Year press conference, the Pre-Game Show press conference, the Bridgestone Half-Time Show press conference (where all 4,000 journalists cram in one tiny room to get a glimpse of the game's true hero - Bruce Springsteen), the NFL YET Center press conference (and no, I don't know what that is either) and the Pink Yeti Up-Your-Jumper Balloon Throwers convention award press conference (um, that last one may be just a little bit made up. But only a little). Did I mention it can be a bit corporate and commercial?

Friday: it's down to just the two head coaches to give press conferences and find new answers for the same questions they have heard all week. In a frenzy of invention and desperation, the media resort to interviewing the Media Center staff, passsers-by and even each other in a bid to find the 'something new' story of the week. The number of words written about Super Bowl XLIII now exceeds the US national debt.

Saturday: a collective drawing of breath from the print media. The 16,000 radio stations squeezed into Radio Row at the Media Center wonder where everyone has gone and is there a party they haven't been invited to?

Sunday: the Pre-Game Brunch. For those who have been covering the Super Bowl since the 1980s, this is THE ticket to have - the opportunity to eat and drink yourself silly before the game and collect the obligatory free hat and pin (freebies are an essential part and parcel of Super Bowl week for the media, although this year may be a bit different. In such stringent economic times, we may have to forego the pin).

Finally, after 6-and-a-half days of pure media frenzy, we get to The Game. Roughly 100,000 people descend on Raymond James Stadium (capacity 72,500) and nearly all of them get in. Two hours of pre-game festivities pass in an eye-blink and the national anthem concludes with a thundering USAAF fly-past, stirring even the cynical members of the UK press corps. The game kicks off and a whole country stops to watch on TV (along with more than 220 other countries around the world in 35 languages). Legends will be created, TV ads will be aired to mass critical acclaim and, somewhere amid the maelstrom, either Arizona or Pittsburgh will be crowned NFL champions (note to media: NOT 'world' champions; the rest of the world doesn't actually play the game, and much of it doesn't even care. But, for roughly 3 hours, football will be THE game). Let the fun begin.

Are you ready?

2009-01-19T08:41:00.000-08:00

Not Much Room On This Bandwagon

The votes are in, and we have a landslide result, a foregone conclusion. Pittsburgh will whip Arizona in Super Bowl XLIII and we can take that to the bank. The pundits and the masses have spoken.

The Cardinals are also the 'worst' team ever to reach the Big Game and they don't deserve to be there.

Only they're not, and they do.

Statistically, the 1990 Denver Broncos were the worst team to reach the Super Bowl, because the 55-10 drubbing they suffered at the hands of San Francisco was easily the most lop-sided in history. And, if Pittsburgh beat Arizona by 45 points, I will not only eat my hat but the rest of my wardrobe, too.

Then there were the '95 San Diego Chargers, who opened as record 18.5 underdogs to San Francisco - and still made the odds-makers look naive as they crashed 49-26 (it could easily have been 49-10 but for two late - and utterly meaningless - Charger TDs).

And who's to say the 'worst' team prior to kick-off weren't the original underdogs, the Jets, who were rubbished by just about all and sundry before turning an 18-point line into a 16-7 Super Bowl III win? Or how about the 2001 Patriots, who were given no chance at all before upsetting the 'Greatest Show on Turf'?

Hindsight shows the latter two would have been really dumb predictions but there were plenty of people beforehand willing to line up in that column.

Hindsight DOES show us that the 2007 Bears were pretty feeble, the '72 Dolphins were also among the 'worst' ever to play on the NFL's biggest stage (with a record low 3 points) and the 2001 Giants just plain stank because of the miserable performance they put up against Baltimore.

But no-one said beforehand that any of those three deserved the label of total losers, unworthy of their place in the spotlight.

Which all goes to show - before you even consider the evidence - that applying this argument to the Cardinals is both foolish, off the mark, irrelevant and totally inaccurate.

To start with, the Steelers are just 7-point favorites, which seems about right for the No 1 defense in the universe. Not 10, 15 or 20; just 7, a touchdown's worth. Defense, as we are told ad nauseam, wins championships. Unless there is a great offense involved - like the 1997 Packers, the 2000 Rams and 2007 Colts. Or, perhaps, the 2009 Cardinals.

And anyone who thinks this Arizona team doesn't pack plenty of offense, after 30, 33 and 32 points against the Falcons, Panthers and Eagles (three pretty decent defenses, by the way), just hasn't been paying attention. Larry Fitzgerald has emerged as THE single biggest TD threat on the planet - if the ball is in his half of the field, he is capable of catching it - and that one fact alone will keep Dick Lebeau and his defensive assistants up late for the next 12 nights.

This is also a team that boasts three (count them, THREE) 1,000-yard receivers, only the fifth team in history to have that kind of offensive firepower. And there is the little matter of the former Super Bowl MVP in the quarterback position, with a 112.1 rating through the playoffs to date. Kurt Warner has also piled up some 5,353 yards to date, with 38 TDs. Rex Grossman this is not.

There is also the fairly salient point that Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt (and EIGHT of his assistants) are all pretty familiar with this Steelers team. And, if there is one team they are perfectly equipped to stop, it is Pittsburgh (ask anyone who tried to run on them in this post-season). Then, when teams look to pass against Arizona, be aware these Cards also have eight interceptions to their credit in just three games, plus four fumbles recovered.

That's an average of FOUR turnovers per game and, if there is one thing this post-season has shown, it is the team with most turnovers wins, pure and simple. And it's not even close.

So, anyone who thinks they can ride this Arizona-have-no-chance bandwagon all the way to Tampa may be in for a little surprise.

2009-01-13T04:57:00.001-08:00

Are You Watching, President-Elect?

No-one can feel that the NFL isn't distinctly poorer today in terms of its human quality with the news Tony Dungy is standing down as head coach of Indianapolis.

There are certain people who help to raise the emotional and even spiritual nature of sport from time to time, and Dungy was most certainly someone who had a hugely inspirational effect on this score.

The 53-year-old brought a rare multi-dimensional aspect to his approach to the sport that involved not just the tactical and physical well-being of his players, but also their mental and spiritual health.

Anyone who came under Dungy's influence - and his Super Bowl appearance in 2007 was the perfect example - could not fail to be impressed by his unfailing, quiet dignity and deep humanity.

In fact it was hard to reconcile the highly public face of the man with the often brutal nature of the sport and its requirement for a tough, ruthless approach to the great god of Winning.

Somehow, Dungy achieved the near impossible of balancing the human with the inhuman; of keeping the need to win at all costs balanced by the need to treat people decently; and by offering everyone the same considered, solicitous demeanor.

You always felt the Colts head coach gave his full attention to each and every question, no matter how trivial (and Super Bowl certainly generates an avalanche of trivia!), and that he also enjoyed each experience to the full in his own calm, quiet manner.

The tragedy of his son's death reached to the heart of every parent and produced an inner pain we can only imagine - and hope we never have to feel for ourselves. It also elicited a near-incomprehensible reaction of understanding and stoicism from the man himself - another life lesson in acceptance and continuance.

There is so much to admire in what he has brought to the NFL - and anyone who has come within his considerable orbit will know immediately what I mean - you fear, slightly, for the vacuum he will inevitably leave behind.

The league's loss, though, is likely to be a country's gain, as it seems clear this is merely a stepping stone to another level of commitment and contribution in the Dungy book of altruism.

You also wonder if a certain President-Elect might be watching and considering a significant national role for a man who clearly grasps the Big Picture of life and his own ability to add some meaningful brushstrokes to it.